Merry Christmas Folks! Thanks again go to Former Branch Secretary, Dave Rowson for the article below. It is a mish mash, I think you younger ones call it a “mash up” nowadays, of the last few away days, as Spurs, Brighton and Citeh all basically merged into one. The MPO has reserved “Publisher’s Notes” on the text, but unlike the Editor of “We’re not Leeds – WE ARE LEEDS” , nothing “pervy” has been taken out!

The influencer

Since The Chairman’s arrival on social media, that fateful day 23^rd April 2018, when Dave Rowson setup his Facebook account with him at the Swan on the Stray, the world has changed for ever.

Taking to Facebook like a duck to ice skating, The Chairman soon got to grips with growing his followers. Indeed, he soon got to grips with a particular follower, a lady who sent the kids out and invited him around for some tuition in IT. Telling Rouse this story at the Knaresborough bed race in June, Rouse said, “bloody hell, been on Facebook for years, nowt like that has happened to me!!!”

He had a few teething problems getting used to Facebook etiquette at first, re sharing (posts not the lady above). He nearly got himself threatened to be blocked by a few folk, and he also continues to like all his own posts. He has now steadily built his followers to the 5k limit, and now operates a waiting list system, on a “one in one out” basis. Average waiting time for men – 18 months, average waiting time for women – 18 seconds. Running the operation from home on his iPad, he has to take a break from proceedings when out and about, and carries his traditional Nokia brick phone, he’s no plastic fan taking pics in the ground! He assures us though that his brick phone is in constant contact with the control room at home letting it know his whereabouts.

Publisher’s notes – it’s technically called a “candybar” phone as The Secretary has a Nokia 3210 that still works and the MPO still has a functioning Nokia 6700, all classics of their time!

We first noticed the impact of The Chairman’s arrival on T’internet, when he began asking Dave to check him into pubs on away trips. Arriving in a town at 11am and the pub quiet, once Dave checked him in, the pubs always got far busier for knowing The Chairman was in attendance, (not that they had just opened). The presence of The Chairman attracted folk from far and wide to the town and these specific establishments ( according to The Chairman’s infinite wisdom ). This also happens coincidentally, on an evening out in Harrogate. You go out at 5pm, all’s quiet, by 9pm or 10pm its heaving. Below we see a graph of Charley’s impact on the footfall of his chosen venues, next slide please. As you can see this is proven by the analysis of the branch’s top scientist, the Membership Officer, Mr Roy Flynn.

However, it has now gone way beyond this, and the knowledge that his reach expands to his Chinese 8 million followers, has made him one of T’internet’s biggest influencers.

Pop stars now seek him out to promote their tours. He is in regular contact with Hazel O’Connor, Thereza Bazar (Dollar), Susanna Hoffs (Bangles) and now Anita Doth (2 Unlimited). However, when asked about Kate Bush, one of his favourite songstresses, he says ‘no, she doesn’t run her own account and she’s a bit of a nutter in real life’.

Publisher’s Notes – in defence of Kate Bush

1) Kate Bush has brought out a new book, published in November 2021, and she is happy to leave her music as her preferred way to communicate.

2) A bit of clarification of the difference between a “fruit” and a “nut”

His opinions of Kate Bush notwithstanding, The Chairman is now adamant he can make or break venues or individuals based on his T’internet influence. Several bars have suffered as a result of not allowing him entry on a Saturday night, I think as they are worried about being swamped and not having enough staff on (it’s the only explanation as they sometimes still let the rest of us in).

Warm drinks at football –  Bring Back The Bovril!

The Chairman’s power has most recently been demonstrated when on the way to Brighton, The Chairman began a conversation about drinks in football grounds and specifically warm drinks in winter.

The Chairman told us that his favourite warm drink at football was Bovril. However, he recounted a trip to Everton 21st March 1991, a night match second leg of the final of the ZDS Cup no less.

Publisher’s Notes – ZDS Cup was a tournament held between 1985 and 1992 when English clubs were banned from European football because of some very poor behaviour on Belgian soil by some scallywags (checked – I’m allowed to use this term). Younger readers – look it up, a very inglourious part of Liverpool’s history. 

It was a very cold night and the Chairman wanted his favourite Bovril drink however, on getting to the refreshment stand, it had sold out of Bovril (bumper 12k crowd) asking what they had left to drink, he was offered a Slush Puppy!!

Rouse then recalled one of the first Sunday games we played, was away at Hull in the 80’s. Taking advantage of not playing on a Sunday morning he had gone all “Promotion Klich” and got totally hammered (doesn’t need an excuse now not playing, Rouse not Klich). Nearly sleeping in, and missing the bus, he ran it back home to get the tickets, but on arrival at the ground, no tickets were required so they could have been left. He says the only thing that could remove the hangover was the chicken soup served in the ground. Spookily I am sure these were Klix instant soups and used to have machine at office where Rouse worked.

Publisher’ Notes – you can still get these at Nissan Sunderland for a bargain 55p according to Top Gear

Anyway, The Chairman decided at Brighton there should be a “Bring Back The Bovril” campaign for football grounds, and that Leeds United Supporters Club should champion this under the “Get It Back at Elland Road” campaign.

On the trip to Chelsea, he informed us that he had been in touch with Bovril via Facebook and suggested they return to football grounds. Instantly, it seems his influence once again paid off, as at Manchester City on the Tuesday they had reinstated Bovril in the ground.

So, I am sure there will be a tidal wave of Bovril across the country now in football grounds.

If you need anything promoting contact The Chairman on Facebook, (not you Rooney, Derby can @@@@ off!). You would need to be the right sort of approach to get on The Chairman’s radar anyway, possibly a sales cougar?

I bet you’ll have a Bovril now!!!

So, if you want to grow your brand or want a brand destroying, check-in with Chairman Charley. (Now there’s a thought, ‘Evening & Merry Christmas Prime Minister’)

The Chairman’s Christmas Message

Merry Christmas from the Chairman, hope you get something in stockings this Christmas too!!

It’s been a while since the last Chairman Charley, I’m sorry to say. The Chairman has been getting a bit uneasy about the lack of news to keep all his followers updated, but hopefully this chapter will go a bit of the way to easing his pain.

Thanks to ex Branch Secretary and now published author, Dave Rowson for the text. This Chairman Charley is bound to be a lot better than the usual tat that I do.

Cars pains

The Chairman has had a few difficulties lately, namely the breakdown of the trusted motor that took him down to Luton and back in 2019. Dave and Entertainment Secretary, Andy Yates, still talk fondly of that memorable trip. Most notably the “Keep death off the road – drive on the pavement” moment when The Chairman mistook a flower bed for a roundabout on the way to pick up Ripon Kev (HUNTY to his mates) on that very foggy morning, and ended up on the pavement.

After that little mishap though, he was the model driver, and did a sterling (Moss) job the rest of the journey.

The Chairman’s car, by the way, you’ll be pleased to know, has been fixed and is all present and correct. Luckily when his car broke down, he was literally outside the garage. When the recovery man turned up declared that the clutch was D.O.A, he asked Charley where he wanted the car taken to for repairs. The Chairman pointed across the road, and said, over there. It was the shortest trip to a recovery garage the mechanic had ever undertaken. You know The Chairman – always glad to be of assistance.

Spurs pain

Unfortunately, his car was the least of his worries on the way to Spurs the other week. The major concern was his body letting him down. Rest assured, ladies, that department is OK, the issue was more to do with his left arm.

The Chairman informed us that he had got a bit of a bad back, and had tried some Deep Heat to no avail, so he decided to use some Voltarol. Since then, his left arm had been aching and giving him grief. It wasn’t only his arm that was giving him grief, as Spurs hailed the return of our driver Jonathan. The usual front of the bus banter of “It’s not a bus – it’s a coach” (now that could be a good title for a book) , had already begun when he may have took umbridge when Dave might have suggested that the coach was a little late to his pick up stop outside Halfords.

In response to this banter, the banter further ensued when The Chairman drew the comparison to Star Trek when Sulu and Chekov sat in front doing the driving, with the main characters sat behind them in chairs, telling them what to do.

The Chairman must have been in some pain as he curtailed his pubstop early, returning to the coach as he was in agony. He was offered a massage in a local establishment on the way back to the bus, he says. But he assured us that he turned the offer down.

In the ground, he managed a smile for the camera though. Well there was a lady involved!

After visiting the shiny stadium in a shithole of an area, The Chairman’s pain seemed to be getting worse on the return journey. The on board doctors of Rowson and Smuff PhD, MFI, GPS, MD 20/20 were suggesting a heart attack or stroke. The MPO suddenly paid attention as we were nearing home and said “I thought you were just taking the piss! I would have taken a look if I had realised. Is it swollen?” The reply “Are we still talking about the arm”. Well you can see why, the MPO thought he was joking, can’t you?

On the return to Harrogate, Sulu and Chekov were suitably concerned enough to divert the bus to Harrogate Hospital, and he was delivered to the door of A&E.

Brighton. A story of snow, wind and pain.

Storm Arwen meant a 7 hour picturesque trip down the M1 with jack knifed lorries and snowy diversions a plenty. Fortunately, this gave The Chairman plenty of time to tell us stories of his time in the NHS whilst nursing his pain. When a patient kicks off in the waiting room and gets thrown out, you know it’s not going to be a good night.

When it was The Chairman’s turn to see the out of hours GP, he got sent to wait in an empty room. There was a desk in there with a phone on it, but no doctor. After 30 minutes of waiting, the phone rang and The Chairman eventually decided he best answer it. It was the GP! The Chairman remarked that he could have gone home and they could have rung him there. Dave is not sure if the GP had asked him to put his arm in the air like the Swedish phone engineer in Stockholm in 1984, but it was diagnosed that the arm pain was due to the reaction to the treatments he had applied to his back. He was told not to do it again, and was given painkillers for the bus to Brighton.

After the pubstop in Lewes, we hit the Amex stadium and the sniffer dogs weren’t much cop as they didn’t sniff out his painkillers. The Chairman’s pain was further eased again, when he was plied with alcohol from Kirsty Palmer from Keighley again. She had given him some Capri-sun at Scum and now she gave him vodka and coke. Having a lady trying to spike him in the grounds this season is something The Chairman can cope with, and he has taken to singing the Patrick Bamford song to Kirsty. For inclusivity, he also had a picture taken with a bloke too.

Inner Circle pains (as opposed to inside leg pains)

For the journey home, The Chairman gave us news of his latest entry to his Inner Circle. Contacted on facebook by his first girlfriend from New Park Primary School, she is planning a visit from her Australian base to the UK. After seeing the A&E visit on facebook, she contacted The Chairman to say she wished she could be there to take his pain away. He also informed us he had received other feedback suggesting things he couldn’t do to himself but insisted it’s his left arm and he’s right handed – clearly no Ronnie O Sullivan. (Just would like to point out here, that these words belong to Dave Rowson – NOT the MPO).

The Chairman is now trying to work out how to be in pain when she visits. He rejected a proposal to do the Escape To Victory keepers broken arm, and possibly, as she has been in Oz a while, is going to claim that an escaped snake bit him down below and the poison needs removing.

But Ladies you ease The Chairman’s pain ( I have no idea what that means by the way – it’s what Rowsey wrote)

Resist.

Resist what? Everything? No, just modern corporate sport.

Swim against the modern tide. That used to be part of the lyrics to some song in the 70s or 80s that I can’t remember. In the late 70s and 80s, all we seemed to do was rebel against authority and the Rich and Powerful. Mind you there was an awful lot to rebel against in those days. Whether it was CND, Mrs Thatch, poll tax, whatever, we resisted. Nowadays people just accept things, it’s a strange carry on. But if we don’t resist against those who want to force change upon us, or at least try to resist, we will never know what we can achieve. Football belongs to the masses, not the suits.

Football belongs to the fans.

It seems that more and more sports are being swept up into the big corporate conglomerate models of the US style buying, selling and trading players and teams. Take the IPL for example, where the competing teams choose players to play in their side in what seems like a bidding war at the start of the competition – actually it is a cricket cattle market auction. There isn’t any history, there’s no long standing  allegiance, no nobel cause rooted in passion for your team. It’s just like it used to be when we were kids, taking turns to pick your footie team. Even if you couldn’t stand the lad, if he was going to score, you picked him. In the NFL and MLB, players can be traded every season like Top Trump cards. The teams as I understand it are franchises, all dependent on the whims of their current owners, who can simply up sticks as they so desire, even, if they fancy it, to a completely different state, let alone a different city. The US of A is a very big country, but nothing can stop the owners from packing up though. There’s also no relegation, and therefore no promotion, so it’s just the same players rotating round teams who can afford to buy them. It’s highly dependent on agents and business deals. The richer you are, the more powerful you are. The paymasters are in charge.

Football isn’t like that. Well not the football that I want to watch anyway. Football teams belong to their grass roots. Local kids should be able to look at their local teams, who have home grown talent, and have something to aspire to. 

It’s not just football that is being affected. Look at cricket again. We used to have a great county championship tournament. Players were proud to represent their county or at least adopted county. Yorkshire County Cricket Club  was very unique, as up until 1992, no one born outside of Yorkshire’s boundaries was allowed to play for the team. When they did abandon the rule, it was only the legendary Sachin Tendulkar who was the first non Yorkshireman to grace our County Club. At the time, Fred Trueman apparently called it a “bloody disgrace” and whilst now it would be an absolute scandal and there would be no end of parliamentary debates about it, in those days, it meant that our county was proud to stand firm and field only home grown talent – no matter how bad they were. But you can’t and shouldn’t judge what we did decades ago  by todays standards, or the Italians would summarily be sued for what the Romans did between 27 BC and 429 AD, and don’t even get me started on those Vikings!

Even in these modern times, there are still clubs like Athletic Bilbao who have an unwritten rule that states that only players from the Basque Country and Navarre, or the Northern Basque country in France are to eligible to play for them.

https://sqaf.club/athletic-bilbao-transfer-policy/

In 2017 there was a massive controversy when the question of Catalan independence was raised. For you younger readers, Barcelona used to be a vocal champion of the Catalan people, the Nou Camp or Camp Nou has the words “mes que un club” written on it’s stand. Translated into English ” More than a club”.

Unfortunately since 2017, Barca has sold out in a lot of respects, with some fans claiming it has been reduced to  “Madridification” in it’s bid to be a global brand. Barca used to proudly be the only club without a sponsorship logo on the front of their shirts, however, now that they are skint, all that has gone out of the window.

Football belongs to the fans though, as our great FA says – fans matter!

We need to resist.

Football, or at least the football that I know and love is fiercely partisan. It’s them v Us, and if you are not with us, you are against us. Something which had to be spelt out to Alan Smith that day at Stamford Bridge. I was amongst those in the crowd that day, sat on the side in that shitty stand, on the receiving end of his two fingered gesture when we sang “You go to Scum, you don’t come back” . The same applies Jordan and McQueen, who, after a 40 year gap are still not welcome at ER by certain fans who really know how to hold a grudge. We’re Leeds United, we don’t give a f***. That’s what makes it so special. We are Leeds and we are proud of it. How I long for the fans who sing “all Leeds aren’t we” and all the rest of these new songs to actually believe this. Sadly, as demonstrated by the comments on social media of late from some of our “fans”, we are probably not all Leeds.

I am realistic. I know we don’t own the Club. We don’t make the rules, we are not in charge, it’s not our money. You need to be one of the Rich and Powerful to own a football club, unless you are GFH of course, who were skint and powerful and managed to “save” our Club by buying it from B*tes according to a certain fan group. And if you believe them, you’ll believe anybody. Sentiments from the recent Tracey Crouch review were similar. Fans don’t want to own their clubs, we just want to have some say and we want the owners to respect the match going fans. 

The Premier League, UEFA and FIFA are all basically in it for the money. Football is a cash cow and they are milking it, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You only have to look at the last six months and the attempt to launch the European Super League. These football organisations hold the rights to a massive money making business opportunity. Football to them is just a huge commercial enterprise, full of dodgy dealings, corporate glad handing and TV, advertising and gambling revenue streams. The fact that Platini and Sepp Blatter are currently being charged with fraud isn’t a surprise, the only surprise is that it has taken so long. It is pitifully laughable that the EFL chose to pick on Cellino, claiming he was unfit to be our owner because of some VAT on a yacht, when all the shady dealings were going on with the awarding of the World Cup etc. Pathetic to say the least, when Shaun Harvey couldn’t even tell us if Ken B*tes actually owned or sold Elland Road under his tenure.

We can resist this corporate globalisation.

Some sportsmen are actually doing things. As much as I dislike Djokovic, he is standing up against the big sponsors in tennis and refusing to play along with them. I have read somewhere that part of the terms and conditions of sponsorship in tennis is that you are duty bound to appear in TV interviews after a game. Unlike football which is 90 minutes, plus Fergie / Klopp time, a single mens tennis game can last hours. 11 hours in that Isner v Mahut match at Wimbledon in 2010. Yet they are all forced to sit there, like performing monkeys facing questions like “how do you feel?” and they can’t reply with “bloody knackered, mate, what do you think?”. Even Ronaldo covered up a Coke bottle in an interview in 2020. 

Corporate sport is fake, it’s choreographed nonsense. Words are rehearsed and pre planned to fit the required corporate image. Answers are set and practiced using language that has been carefully opinion polled and monitored by the image marketers to ensure that nobody says anything that might upset anyone else, in case it damages the brand or doesn’t fit the narrative. Like Trevor Sinclair last week, who raised the delicate issue of whether the Sheffield Utd player had received his required intervention in his arm, following his mysterious collapse on the pitch. His feed was summarily cut by a panicking producer.  Oh dear, Trevor.

All we want on MOTD is to see the highlights and replays of the action / goals from different angles. We don’t want to see three middle aged, rich men pretend that they are not reading from a scripted autocue, with carefully rehearsed cliched dross, speckled with the fake Wrighty loud bursts of laughter. As the brilliant Mary Whitehouse Experience guys before they grew up used to say, “Chinny reck on” .

This is why Bielsa is such a breath of fresh air. His interviews at times are just majestically maverick. 

The PL wants all the teams in the league to fit the brand, right down to the same seating style in the dug outs. It doesn’t matter if the stadium is shiny new like Spurs, or like the 1930’s relic that is currently our West Stand. It all has to be the same, so it looks good on the telly. Even though each team has a unique history, with an equally unique fan base, they can’t treat individual teams like individual identities. I agree that standardising things like away ticket prices is a boon. But they expect a one size fits all, and it clearly doesn’t. Not many clubs will take their full allocation of away  tickets to every game, especially the long distance ones. But we do, and we fight to the death for them as well. Not all the PL clubs fill their grounds to capacity, but we do, and tickets are like gold dust.

Our club want us to fit the PL brand, and it’s probably somewhere in the terms and conditions of the PL to do so, but when it comes to ticketing that’s a different issue. Bearing in mind when it comes to away allocations the rule is something like 10% of the total capacity up to 3,000 max, not many of the PL clubs take their full allocation of away tickets. Of those clubs that do, many have an effective closed shop for away tickets, dependent on a points system with a historical loyalty record of regular ticket purchases including home season tickets. I was speaking to a Spurs fan who has just accepted he’s never going to get an away ticket, even though his season ticket is more than double what we pay at Leeds. He and many others respect the fact that long standing loyalty trumps new fans. When we asked Leeds to continue with it’s loyalty accrued in the doldrums over the last 16 years of non PL football, well you know what happened.  

The PL wants football to be available to everyone all the time. But at the expense of the League and FA Cups, but UEFA and FIFA would rather the Chumpions and Europa Leagues take presidence over all. After all, European football is the main selling factor to the global TV audiences, isn’t it? The home nations Cup competitions are minor inconveniences, apart from the fact that winning the FA and League cups still get you into Europe – until they eff around with that one, of course.

Did you know Leeds don’t have another scheduled away 3pm kick off on a Saturday after the Chelski game until February? Unless the True Gods of Football decide different in the meantime. But fans matter?

Clubs like Spurs and Man City (albeit without consultation of the fans) have bought in paperless e-ticketing. Most have gone cashless. Why? Because it’s convenient for them. With the plus side that they can monitor your every purchase and tailor you ads on all your devices to their company sponsors. Hmmm. Did they ever ask what we want?

If you ask the average match going fan, they would rather the club spend money on decent beer and food and facilities, and make it cheaper, than splashing the cash on swanky turnstiles and MORE electronic payment systems that crash when the going gets tough. At the start of the season they introduced touch screens for beer that didn’t have the capacity to recognise that a product was sold out, so people were merrily ordering and paying for something that just wasn’t available. Would that have happened at the cash till? 

As for the e ticketing. What happens if you have someone who doesn’t have a smart phone because they can’t afford the £35 (and the rest) a month for one? What about people who still have a Nokia 3210? What about people who can’t afford the latest tech? This is active discrimination against the digitally excluded. Paper tickets are green, can be recycled, but more importantly are a lasting tangible memory. Even plastic season ticket cards can be recycled. E ticketing requires electricity and no end of tech management to protect your security and data from being hacked, all which requires masses of servers using masses of power. Not as green as what you think.

My final salvo is banking.

When Leeds first introduced card payments for tickets, it was a given and accepted- progress. They started with the initial admin charge for using a bank card. It was just one charge for every time you bought something regardless of how many tickets you bought. Fairs fair. The banks charged them for using the service. Then under B*tes, they said that they had to charge a transaction card for each ticket you bought. Eh? Why should the banks charge them for every ticket you bought in a single transaction? They were only processing one event, surely? Now it’s common place.

Recently Amazon have decided to stop letting us use UK based Visa cards for purchases. Why? Because the bank charges are too high? Given Amazon make so much money from UK sales, how much can UK based Visa companies  be cutting into the mass wealth of Jeff Bezos? He’s sending weirdly shaped rockets into space for a laugh. He doesn’t need the money. Are the banks so ruthless?

If we go completely cashless, we will be at the mercy of the big banks. Then they can do what they want and hike up the “transaction charges” as they like. We are not going to be able to stop them. It’s a quid now, but once the system gets ingrained, the routine £1 may well end up a fiver, and we will be powerless, slaves to the big banks and big corporations. If you stick to contactless, you won’t even see the money leaving. You could be paying anything to get into the ground, and no know about it – but hey – that’s progress. NO! Cash is king

Swim against the tide.

RESIST 

I was pleasantly surprised by this unexpected highlight at the “fancy new” Tottenham Hotspur Stadium the other night when I saw this being flashed around the shiny new electronic advertising hoardings.

Yes, there it was, emblazoned round the ground “Tottenham Hotspur welcomes all of our supporters clubs”. Going the extra mile by putting each of the individual names up of these supporters clubs too! (see picture 2). What an unexpected treat!

Advertising displays which would, I am guessing, normally cost advertising space “big” money, but being used to welcome – yes – welcome – supporters clubs. Wowsers!

Can you imagine that at ER?

Nope, neither can I!

By the way, I’m hoping it was free, but don’t hold me to that – they might well be paying a lot of money for this display. But given when B*tes took over, he refused point blank to let the LUSC even hold a function at ER, let alone have the name paraded round the ground in lights. To me, this is a mark of respect. A massive nod of acknowledgement to and recognition of the dedicated, longstanding, loyal supporters clubs.

Before anyone can say anything, I know there are differences between the official LUSC branches, what used to be the old B*tes RMCs, and other independent supporters clubs who have been going for decades as well. We are not all the same. We function in our own ways, each to their own. In this particular example, I’m not drawing any distinctions between the LUSC, the branches in the Leeds United Network and all the other groups, we are all Leeds United supporters. For whatever reasons, some just don’t want to join up with the LUSC. Some aren’t bothered with the fortnightly meetings, some think there’s too much admin and formality, some don’t see the value in it, some have far too much water under the bridge and some have set a flame thrower to that bridge. As long as we are all here to support Leeds, that’s what counts. No one should be forced to agree with everything, everyone has the right to choose.

Apologies by the way for the quality of these photos, my phone is so old it thinks UHD is the milk you don’t have to put in the fridge.

The other unexpected highlight, was the pleasure of watching that first half, actually the first 60 minutes of the game. We totally outclassed them, but then, as we do post International break, we ran out of steam. We used to run out of steam when we were crap and never had any participating players in the international competitions. It’s just how it’s always been. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because the team need to be playing competitive football continuously, without a break to disrupt our momentum. Maybe the players have a binge week of pizza, curry and chinese watching the competition, like the rest of us. It could be anything, frankly. Having said that the winner was spawny. A lucky bounce off the upright, right into the path of Reguilon. A draw would have been a good result after the first hour display.

So that was the unexpected highlight of the shiny new Tottenham Hotspur ground. The rest? Was it any different from White Hart Lane?

Well, given the new ground is a stone’s throw from White Hart Lane, unlike the mile or so between The Emirates Library and Highbury, it’s still in the same run down area, so no real change there. The main difference is that whilst WHL was your typical 4 codged together stands forming a grey rectangular reflection of football in the Capital, from the outside, this is just a greyer, rounder version of it.

As is with all the grounds situated in London and some other cities in the UK, football stadia were built for the fans who were local to it. The roads and the back streets which were perfectly acceptable in the 1900s, and probably still ok in the 1980s (albeit perfect altercation territory for certain fans!), are far from ideal in the 21st century. Now that the cost of watching live football has risen way beyond what normal people earn in the capital, the fans who live in close proximity to the shiny new Spurs ground don’t stick a chance of getting in. It’s almost a p**stake really. Those of you who were lucky enough to get a ticket last weekend could see for yourselves what the area around there is like. It was probably a little worse than the area around the Emirates Library from what I could see. It must be really galling to live there, and every day see the contrast between the economy of the locals and the money that went into the Shinyness of Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.

But this is corporate sport – not just football. By the way, yes – I know its for American football as well. Does that make it worse or better? I don’t know. Corporate sport is corporate sport.

I have nicked this picture off some tabloid rag showing you the prices of the cheapest season tickets in the league.

Don’t forget, these are the cheapest season tickets you can get according to this rag!

Also, don’t forget how much money these clubs get from TV money and advertising and sponsorship. But you also can’t forget how much these clubs are paying in wages to some of these players. If the players wages weren’t so disgustingly high, the clubs wouldn’t even need to charge that much for a ticket.  Income from ticket sales are a drop in the ocean compared to the obscene amounts of money coming in. But those obscene amounts are completely eclipsed by the disgraceful millions going out in wages.

Wages all negotiated by greedy agents and players. Sums of money that the normal fans wouldn’t even dare to dream about. As I have said before, there are players in this league making more money in a year than the sovereign wealth of some nations. Yet they have the audacity to tell us what we should be doing, and some are more than happy to abuse the rules, go to a party, get drunk and crash their £80k 4×4 whilst wearing a furry slipper on one foot and a sandal on the other. Lockdown unexpected highlight? Not quite. Why would you wear socks with a furry sandal? Who knows what the Rich and Famous get up to when they’re not a work.

As usual, I’m digressing. Back to the Shiny new stadium.

It looked good from from where I was sat. The height of the stand behind the goal was almost of St James’s Park proportions – and you know what I think about those stairs at Newcastle! It didn’t look as steep though, more like a considered, staggered gradient, suitable for less mobile fans for a change. The wrap around style is identical to all “new” grounds. No thanks! The entire corporate ring in between the top and the lower tiers? Just like the Emirates Library. The atmosphere? Just like the Emirates Library.

I thought it was just that the acoustics were a bit shoddy to start with. I could hear our end but not theirs. It wasn’t until the second half, when I saw Conte running up and down the touchline waving at the fans to make some noise, that I realised, it wasn’t the acoustics. It was just that they were really quiet! But it looked good on the telly, right?

The last unexpected highlight was that rail seating.

Rail seating / safe standing. It’s not my favourite topic. I’d just prefer safe seating myself. I’m old now.

That rail seating though, now that was an unexpected revelation. The last time I stood at a rail at a game was at the old Ninian Park. I have no idea what year that was – remembering games is The Chairman’s job. There may have been a rail at Salford – but that doesn’t count. It was nice to lean against a rail again though. It was even nicer knowing that there wasn’t going to be a massive crush against said rail if we scored, like in the old days. This was because I was on the back row and no one was behind me. It still didn’t stop people just standing in the aisles and on the stairwells  though. No surprise there then.

The actual folding seats were huge though. Much wider than I thought they would be. Probably bigger than my seat in the Captain’s Corner and twice as big as the seats in the East Stand, very roomy indeed. The rail was a bit lower than I imagined it would be, and still as painful when I landed against the upright bit when we scored. Despite my initial misgivings and apprehension, it seemed ok.

If this is going to be the way forward however, rail seating will not increase the capacity at ER. It’ll probably reduce it, as these seats are enormous. Like the seats are Arsenal, they are definitely designed for those with a larger “spread”, and I don’t mean Lurpak. More comfort for those who want a seat through the game, but it will be capacity that is sacrificed in the long run. If these get installed in the East Stand, even I might get a ticket in there for a Cup game. It’s a long way off though.

What is a tangible asset?

Tangible assets are something you can touch, something you can hold on to. 

Why do you need something to hold on to?

If you need to ask that question, you shouldn’t even be reading this.

Everybody needs something to hold on to. It’s what being human is about. If we weren’t human, we’d be mere machines, just a load of  0’s and 1’s (plug for the new Matrix film – which surely cannot be as bad as the last one but will never be as good as the first). Nothing in the Matrix was tangible, challenging the age old adage that if it walks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck…. But then again, anything could be anything in The Matrix.

From the moment we are born into this world, the first thing a human baby does is reach out for something to hold. After it’s took it’s first breath and screams, obviously. It’s inherent, it’s biological, it’s clinically known as  the grasp reflex for you non medical people. We then spend the rest of our lives searching for stuff, whether it’s ethereal and perceptual, like knowledge or wisdom, or material, like money or bricks and mortar, or emotional like friends and company, or impalpable like love and devotion. Whether we can physically grab a hold of something, or treasure it in our hearts and minds, everybody needs something to hold onto. True to form, we search for things, find it, treasure it and then invariably lose it (mostly after putting it in a really safe place), but then we find it again. Bit like Leeds United’s  form over the last decade or so.

As Jake and Elwood famously sang, Everybody, needs Somebody

As seasoned Leeds United fans, what are our tangible assets?

At the moment? Well, that’s easy – Marcelo Bielsa.

The obvious aside, what have we, as Leeds United fans, actually got as our tangible assets? Realistically, right now, our long term tangible assets are few and far between. I guess we have ER back now from whoever B*tes sold it to. IF he ever sold it, that is. Apart from that, we have our club, our season tickets, about 850 of us have their away season tickets too, but most important of all we have our mates and our fellow Leeds United fans. And drink – we have drink. And, in 6 weeks ………. IT’S CHRISTMAS!

Unfortunately, in this new age of the “modern game”, football is strangely bereft of anything of value which lasts longer than a couple of seasons. Long gone are the days of enduring symbols of our great club. Even our beloved badge has changed over the last 50 years. Luckily the most recent threat of a 21st century update was thwarted in it’s tracks, at the first hurdle, by change.org. But long gone are the one club stalwarts like Gary Kelly or Stevie G in the PL, there’s always Billy Sharp in the Chumpionship though.

Bielsa himself is one of the longest serving managers in the PL currently. Our players, our managers and I guess our owners, are all but temporary members of staff and custodians in truth. As soon as the next “big thing” comes up, they will be off. That of course, assumes that we stop being the next “big thing”. Luckily, despite the doom mongers peddling the “second season” wet blanket / glass half full misery, following that solid display against Leicester, it looks like our momentum is starting to build again.

Once we get all our team fit again, we have potential to start climbing back up the table. Ultimately, we are only 6 points off Europe still, and it’s only November. It’s in all our best interests to stay in the PL, play exciting football and go for the victories in the Cups, as well as the league. The more success we have, the more likely we will stay at our status quo, or even improve our standing in the “best League in the World”. With more success, comes the added security that no one will want to leave, and barring massive fall outs between the team, coaching staff and the owners, we may finish with the same, or similar, complement of players and coaching staff that we started with at the start of the season. God willing.

It’s not only “modern football” that is the problem. It’s “modern 21st Century life” in general which confounds us.

We can argue that given football in the 21st Century is still just 90 minutes, divided into two 45 minute halves, with 22 men and 3 officials on the pitch (until FIFA / UEFA decide otherwise and split it into 4 quarters so it’s easier for the Yanks to understand), football hasn’t changed much. What has changed is that football has become less and less about the actual game, and more and more about the revenue that comes from it. Not just in TV rights and advertising opportunities, but all the gambling opportunities that are generated from it and all the shady deals that happen behind closed doors between agents, managers, players and chairmen.

Football used to be just a game. Now it’s net worth, not just to the Clubs and the Football Associations and organisations around the world, is so huge that, football has basically become a commodity. And, as with all commodities, their sole purpose is just to be traded and passed round or shared between the rich and the powerful.

There is more money in and around the likes of Chelsea, Citeh and now Newcastle, than some nation states and small countries in the world. The increase in money surrounding football has meant that the actual net worth of football, as in the 90 minutes on the pitch, has become so devalued, it is more or less meaningless. Worthless to anyone outside of those lucky enough to attend live football matches, and those who can’t get to the game but watch it on the telly like a c***.

Win, lose or draw the money still comes in from the broadcasting rights and the gambling companies. The wealth managers and the commodity traders are not bothered about the result either. If a team wins, the commodity becomes more valuable, if the team loses, the commodity becomes a tradeable asset, which may yet yield a net profit, depending on how much you paid for it at the start. It’s not just the team either, the same goes for the players, with some individuals racking up more in a week than most of us will ever earn in our entire lifetimes. Some players are shamelessly earning more in a year than some countries entire GDPs. Yet they still seem fit to lecture us on what we, the fans, should be doing to “help out”, meanwhile driving around in a different 4×4 everyday and gazing down from the lofty heights of their £2 million luxury pad. That’s capitalism for you!

What does it all mean to us (lucky) season ticket holders and (unlucky) gold members on the 22,000+ season ticket waiting list? It means that the rich and powerful (or in the case of GFH – skint and powerful), can do what they like with our club, on whatever whim they have, and there’s not a lot we can do about it. Like modern 21st century life, if you have the money and the means of the Entitled Elite, you can do what you want. Us plebs? We get what we are given. Capitalism is great isn’t it?

What can I do?

Fight back. Rebel.

There’s many who wonder why I am so vehemently opposed to cashless. There’s many who wonder why I object so much to social media and companies who want me to use my phone to bank with and interact with. There’s many who wonder why I moan all the time about modern life, full stop really.

It’s mainly because I don’t like things imposed on me. I want to choose what I do and how I interact, thank you very much. And yes, I don’t like be told what to do, no one does. It’s what being independent means. I’m unique (thank god!), I don’t fit into any tick box, I am NOT just a number – I am not Number 6.

You can be forgiven for having no idea whatsoever what I am going on about. However, just to let you young folks know, being independent, being your own person, being allowed to think for yourself and be free to make your choices, isn’t a new thing. Being an individual and valued, and not being conditioned by society, isn’t just a millennial thing. We’ve been trying to free ourselves from the shackles of conformity for decades. Rebellion isn’t a new thing. Those of you who have no idea of the excellent Patrick McGoohan and the brilliant TV programme The Prisoner, here’s another a link https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061287/

Rebellion. It’s all we have. And it can work.

They told us, for example, that vinyl was dead. Once we got cd players and then now this streaming nonsense, they said that records would be defunct. They said digital music would take over the world, and that people would “benefit” from the convenience of the latest music (24 hours a day, 7 days a weeks) and sounds at their fingertips on their devices, without needing to “bother” with physical, tangible music like vinyl. Vinyl, all crackly and noisy, without the “clean” sound of enhanced digital. Vinyl – with all the problems with distortion and feedback – who under the age of 50 would want that? What’s happening now at the moment with vinyl? Massive resurgence, I hear you say? And it’s not just the dinosaur purists amongst us either. Can you believe it? “Young” people too? Well, I never.

They told us that books would be confined to libraries, and libraries would be relegated and consigned to online only. With kindle and audio-books – why would you want to bother with actually holding something and be inconvenienced with – wait for it – turning pages over? Hmmm. Sales of books have now gone up to 200 million in the UK and 650 million in the US of A. Yes, in America – the land of convenience, printed books sales are going up.

I’m not knocking assistive technology. If you’re disabled, with physical or mental limitations, then assistive technology is fantastic and can help you live some semblance of an independent life. That’s not what I am saying. What I’m saying is that technology should not have to interfere with all aspects of modern life if we don’t want it to, we should be allowed to choose. These technological advancements were supposed to help, but like many things, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Some of these well meaning developments have led to abuse of information and trust and have allowed hackers and unsavoury people with ill intent, easy access to the vulnerable and easily led. With further advancements the makers of electronic devices are hoping to give people the ability to have access and control of every aspects of your lives in one device. But what happens when you let your life be controlled by AI and the people in charge of that technology? You lose your independence and free will, and become reliant on someone telling you what to do. Might as well be in The Matrix.

I want to choose.

Football isn’t a commodity for match going fans (and those watching on the telly, like a ). It’s an experience. It’s not even just about the 90 minutes either. It’s about the whole day / weekend. I don’t need to remind you, if it was just about the 90 minutes, even some of the most hardened of us would have packed it in by 2013/14 season.

Honestly?

I don’t care what happens in the boardrooms. I don’t care unless it directly affects the team and frankly, I only care if there is something I can do, that can directly affect the decisions being made. I would love direct fan engagement, but given most of us cannot agree who our first choice 11 should be, there is no way a consensus can be reached across the whole fan base. It would be physically impossible to say that every Leeds fan can have the opportunity to be consulted in every decision made at Leeds United. Then again, there shouldn’t be. It’s not our money is it?

The things we can do? Choose how our match-day experience should be.

Namely, the right to pay by cash. It’s sterling, it’s legal tender – no one should refuse it. We are the customers, they are providing a service. That’s consumerism. Season ticket cards and gold membership / myleeds cards. Every Leeds fan needs to be able to flash something in their wallets / purses to show off that they are a Leeds fan, should the occasion arise. Paper tickets. It’s recyclable, it’s difficult to fake (unlike the QR codes on your phone which anyone with a decent phone can take a screenshot off) and it’s something that you can hold in your hand and keep as a memento of the day. These are tangible assets. They may be little, but they are something you can hold on to and treasure as a keepsake.

I’m not saying that I treasured, nor needed the tickets from Rochdale away in 2014, or any one of our lower league opponents in the League and FA Cup defeats, to help keep those memories alive. But, if you remember the lowest nadirs in your footballing life, it makes you enjoy the zeniths and apogees much more.

I appreciate some people do want to do everything on their phones, and so much in modern life is geared up to that. But it’s run of the mill, boring, everyday life.

Football is different. It’s not routine, it’s special. It’s not something you can describe easily, but it’s something you can hold onto. It’s a tangible asset. Can you imagine if I could bottle it up and sell it. I would make a mint!

Football fans, we too are tangible assets to the Club. I wish they would realise that and not dismiss us so readily at times. When the chips are down and we are losing, the matchgoing fans give the team the uplift they need. Look at the Wolves game and the Leicester performance. What a difference the crowd made. Yet the beer is crap, the food is crap and it’s overpriced. The stadium is ageing and the traffic around the ground is appalling at best. The touts are still making money by grabbing all the tickets that they can on ticket sales days and flogging them at extortionate prices to ordinary fans who haven’t got the skills and the tools to buy one themselves. As for all the fans that can’t make it to the games, they are still the ambassadors of Leeds United, spreading the gospel across all four corners of the globe. Something, anything for free would be great just to acknowledge them. Leeds supporters are some of the best in the country. There’s not many PL sides who can boast of such an amazing fan base.

Give us the recognition we deserve.