Robots.

For many, the word robot conjures up some man made, mechanical machine with flashing lights. Similar to 80s favourite of yesteryear, “Ready, Steady, are you set? For Metal Mickey?”

Another fave was the ever protective robot from the classic Lost In Space.

Danger Will Robinson. Yes, the photo is black and white – it’s how things were in the old days!

However, the word robot doesn’t come from some technological textbook. The origin comes from a 1920s Czech play R.U.R – Rossums Universal Robots by Karel Capek. Robot is derived from an old Church Slavic word “robota” meaning servitude, forced labour or drudgery. In the play, Rossum is a scientist who discovers how to create humanoid machines to help the whole world and mankind in general. Another scientist decides to improve on them by giving them more humanlike traits. Eventually the machines take over.

Similar to Skynet from Terminator, I suppose. I’ve ruined the plot of the play for you now, sorry.

What robot?

Why am I on about robots? Robots were just designed to do repetitive, menial tasks to make life easier and more convenient for humankind, weren’t they? Surely this is a footballing blog?

Well, for the first time ever, I was moved to agree with that goliath from the world of footballing punditry, Gary Neville. Remember him? He used to play for some insignificant football team, and now preaches about how we should behave, whilst doing the opposite thing. Qatar World Cup, Gary. Qatar.

Agreeing with the enemy.

Towards the end of some PL game on SkyTVisf**kings**t a few months ago, the home side was losing at 80 minutes. Rather than going for it and trying to get an equaliser to save face (or God forbid a win!), they just passed it around between the full backs and the goalie. Sound familiar? Nev lost his rag and started saying “just go forward and at least try to get a result” etc. etc. Finishing off his tirade with the words “they’re just like a load of robots”.

Sadly, this is the dire situation we are in. It’s not just us, most of modern football is played like it is on paper. Artificial, possession based (to the point of obsession) tippy tappy football. Plays and positions are drilled into players, replacing the vision, flair and creativity that all young footballers begin with. Basically most of PL teams do play like a load of robots.

Standardisation, sanitisation and sterilisation

I feel that these are the words which reflect the game today. Certainly at PL and EFL levels it is. I don’t watch much lower league football. Hope springs eternal that it is not going the same way though.

Everyone and everything needs to be the same, lest it be deemed an unfair advantage, or disadvantage depending on how you see it. Apart from FFP of course, which can be manipulated into anything to gain the advantage, as long as you have the right lawyers and money (Leicester City) to do so.

Standardisation.

If you look at an PL ground the dugouts basically look the same. Same seats, same layout, same coaching team, doing the same encroaching out of the area. The pitch is the same sand mass with a turf topping, sprayed extra green to look good. You have the same water sprayers, turned on at the same time in all weathers, under the same floodlights. Camera angles on the telly are identical. The wraparound stadia are practically mirror images of each other. Each carefully crafted by computer modelling, to get the best spectacle when viewed on the telly and designed for optimal ambience.

However the atmosphere at these grounds, especially when home teams are losing, is dreadful. Generally, it’s the usual suspects of Arsenal and Spurs, whose fans seem to turn on the team and manager without hesitation. Although, how many times have we in the Championship sung “Duh, duh, duh. Football in a library”? Semantics really, over the last few decades, but moreso in the last few years, the atmosphere in all grounds has deteriorated.

Sanitisation.

Basically fans are all encouraged (or influenced) to sing similar songs, to similar tunes, whichever happens to be on trend. Luckily, Marching On Together isn’t replicated anywhere else, but there’s time! We aren’t allowed to, or should I say, we are “actively discouraged” from singing about certain things or using certain language in case it offends. Football banter, in it’s purest form of spontaneous ferocity, just simply isn’t acceptable in 21st century soccer. We all have to be mindful of fans who don’t have the same mindset apparently. Not everyone can take a joke or even see things as a joke.

There’s no denying that there are some choice words heard in the stands, but the heyday of hooliganism in the 70s and 80s has long passed. Long gone are the days when what was said with discrimination and venom on the terraces, was utterly meant, and sometimes followed through after the game. We have moved on now.

But, banter isn’t banter anymore, it’s carefully researched, intensively rehearsed, scripted nonsense. Manufactured fakery at it’s best. That’s why Match of the Day is best watched on catch up, so you can fast forward and skip the punditry. Correspondingly, at least the EFL show has done away with Colin and now  just shows actual football. It’s much better that way. Cringeworthy Colin has ruined Countdown, by the way. I watch that on live pause now, so I can fast forward him and Riley’s terrible rehearsed repartee. Honestly, you can see the tumbleweeds rolling past poor Susie Dent in dictionary corner.

Sterilisation.

Undoubtedly, the future is bleak for common or garden fans but bright orange for those who want to be guaranteed the exact “immersive” experience on the box. Week in , week out, whether it’s a dull 0-0, or 7 goal bonanza, with the two hours of pre match build up but severely lacking in any decent actual commentary during the 90 minutes. Identical playing formations, uniform set pieces, analogous defending (defence) and corresponding attacking (offence). One big fat homogenous blob, with the tacky bonus of a light show if you are at Norwich or Sunderland. However, those OTT fire burners at Molyneux are toasty warm at the front of that stand in winter! Bonus.

Team full of robots

Consequently, we might as well be fielding a team full of robots.

Why? Because that is what is expected of modern football, and that is what we want, isn’t it? At least that is what they, as in PL, FL, EFL, think. (Add in the potential European Super League promoters FIFA and UEFA, and that list will read like a multinational criminal syndicate!). This, despite the fact that every player is a complete individual, and undeniably will react randomly at any given moment. They think that  observers (aka fans) deserve certainty and predictability for their money. Surely?

Choosing the robots

Consider a team full of Benders. I mean the lovable rogue, alcohol swilling, cigar smoking, “bite my shiny metal a*s”, wrong un robot from Futurama, of course.

It’d be like a team full of Klichys! Woohoo!

If you have never watched Futurama, apologies, you won’t understand the analogy. Just look at the pictures and imagine it. Bender is a robot who bends things, hence Bender. Self explanatory really. If you’ve never seen Futurama – just forget it!

Should you count replicants as robots, you could have 11 Rutger Hauers. This would technically mean a team full of Battys. Obviously Roy Batty was the name of his character in Bladerunner, not David Batty. Apologies to the film lovers reading this who know that analogy, not everyone knows Rutger Hauer was a Roy.

Robots like these would be the antitheses of the statisticians who want nice heat mapped, percentage based passing, interceptions and AI calculated xG. With these robot teams the metrics would be terrible! Not all robots can be like the NS-5s in Isaac Asimov’s classic , I, Robot. Incidentally, the Will Smith film was set in 2035, so there’s still 11 years to go for US Robotics to design and make preprogrammed, humanoid efficiency machines for the betterment of society. Hooray.

However, a team full of Benders or Battys would make great edge of your seat viewing, for those who prefer excitement and unpredictability. Otherwise known as flair, footballing knowledge and being able to read a game.

Raison D’Etre

Again, apologies to those with French O level, raison d’etre, loosely translated as “reason for being”. The message today, during the International break, is simply that I miss the old days. I hate this new modern game and I hate all the anti football commercialism that comes with it. Money, agents, corporate glad handing, advertising, gambling and shiny shinyness etc. etc.

Glory Days

I’m so lucky to have been brought up with the greats of Pele, Zico and Romario and of our own, great Don Revie side. Firstly, our Leeds United glory years, albeit on the telly / videos for me, but not for some. The names need no mention, just the word – legends. No need for expert dieticians and sports scientists for them. Two games per week, pitches like ploughed fields and tackles with actual pointy studs were swiftly dealt with, by a couple of pints and a ciggie at half time.

Secondly, what a wealth of extraordinary talent we used to see when the qualifiers were on. It used to be just midweeks and there were less countries in those days. Remember, we rarely saw foreign players on England soil, until Ossie Ardilles came to Spurs in the 70s. The likes of Cruyff, Toshack, Maradona and Platini were only seen a few times a year, and it was great! Of course, I know there were some decent German players in those days, but for obvious reasons, Rummenigge, Muller, Roth and that cheat Beckenbauer hardly deserve a mention.

Mavericks and rule breakers

They were true mavericks of the game. They didn’t play by the rules, they made them and broke them. We had them in England too, not just our own Leeds United legends, but Stan Bowles, Bobby Moore, George Best, Duncan McKenzie, Frank Worthington, Tony Currie, Charlie George, Alan Hudson, John Robertson at Forest to name but a few. There was once a quote from an old centre forward, “there’s no point running yourself ragged all day, if you are too knackered to kick the ball in the net when it comes to you”. Unpredictable and temperamental but exciting.

The advent of foreign football on the telly

Undoubtedly, we had the phenomenon of Total Football from Ajax in the Eredivise. But, through the decades we had the likes of Serie A giants Baggio, Batistuta, Pirlo, Del Piero, Totti, Maldini, Inzaghi and Costacurto. Not forgetting Cafu, Buffon, Shevchenko and Costa. Then came the La Liga, “Los Galacticos” and Barca. Money was thrown at Figo, Zidane, Ronaldo (the proper one) and Beckham by Madrid  Presidente Florentino Perez, to buy the league. FFP? Hahaha, hahaha, hahaha. Mind you, Jack Walker was doing the same for Blackburn at the time! Granted, there was already Raul and Roberto Carlos in the ranks. Barca’s answer? Ronaldinho, Deco, Eto’o, Rivaldo, Iniesta, Xavi and of course Messi, more than matched Madrid.

Maestros

All these players were / are ultimate footballers, exciting, precocious and in Messi’s case, mercurial. I’ve missed out many names, but remember, not all of the above were centre forwards. Roberto Carlos was a full back , yet his penetrating runs provided many a goal. A bit like Tony Dorigo and Mel Sterland but a tad smaller in stature, a bit more tanned, and possible slightly faster. He was also a dead ball specialist, with one of the best records for scoring from set pieces. Matched by Beckham, and our own, Ian Harte. Notwithstanding the midfield maestros (how could I forget Makelele?) and stalwart centre halfs providing immovable walls in defence.

English equivalents

Division 1 had Matt Le Tissier, Teddy Sheringham, Tony Adams, Bergkamp and Gazza. The PL had Thierry Henry, Viera, Ronaldo (the other one), bitey Suarez, Droghba, Aguero and Cesc Fabregas. We had our own too, as Cantona does kind of count. Can we forget “Yeboah, Yeboah”, “Batty’s gonna get ya” and “all we want is a team of Radebes”?

Common denominators

Undeniably, all these players have one thing in common. They are all unique. The moulds have been broken.

Admittedly they have similar certain traits but it is how they use their speed and agility, apply the expertise to read the game, and capability to play as a team and in Messi’s case, knowledge of where the two sticks are, which makes them great.

Modern football

Unfortunately, there are no such modern day equivalents. Although Messi is still kicking about somewhere in the desert. For a short time, Leeds United had Stuart Dallas – the Cookstown Cafu and of course, Kalv – the Yorkshire Pirlo and Raphinha. Things could have been so much different if Kalv had stayed, and had they not done the dirty on Bielsa.

Although, in PL recent history for a time Ward Prowse was a free kick specialist and KDB was phenomenal a few years ago. Nowadays if Grealish’s talent could be harnessed by more first team football, whilst fawning less over his highlights, there’s hope. Concurrently, there is goal scoring machine, Erling Haaland and potential in Foden at Citeh, but where else is the talent? Cole Palmer I suppose is up and coming, but there really is a paucity of sustained talent in the ranks.

The bare bones.

To strip football down to it’s bare bones, the aim is to get more goals than the other team in 90 minutes. There should be more work into how that can be achieved at Club and at league level by the scientists. Football specialists should be concentrating their efforts on improving the physical and mental aspects of the game. The evidence on the telly suggests that there are more statisticians than sports scientists. Why do we need someone to produce an algorithm, which you can look at in the build up to kick off, check at half time and then see if it was right at the end of the 90 minutes? Do the robot programmers get extra points if they predict it right?

Humans v AI

I feel flair and originality has been beaten out of the game. Individuality has been bred out of the modern game because of the incessant desperate need for some number cruncher to churn out stats about how far someone has run on the pitch and see if the computer gets it right about predicting the score from that computer robot model. I’m old school and I just don’t get it. Sorry.

The betterment of sport.

Commentators

The one group who do actually benefit from all these stats are the prematch, half time and post match commentators. Equally across all sports too, I’m guessing, but moreso with football. It isn’t just me, lots of people think that the calibre of commentary is poor. During the game on the telly, it’s not really commentary Mottie style is it? It’s just a couple of people having a chat half the time. At least in the old days it was proper audio description, so if you couldn’t see it, you knew what was going on. I’m not asking for horse racing type, second by second description, but at least some idea of what is going on. Just pretend people actually want to know what is going on, on the pitch.

Words don’t come easy

If you ever watched or listened to Jeff Stelling, Mers, Phil Thompson, Le Tissier, Charlie Nicholas and Rodney Marsh on Soccer Saturday, you know they had a certain chemistry. To be fair even James Richardson, Ally McCoist, Richard Keys and Andy Gray had a certain swagger about them. Banter was banter with them. It was just like being in a pub after the game. The art of conversation was completely mastered and in full flow, oh and by the way, this was what was happening up and down the country. They had amassed libraries of encyclopaedic footballing knowledge between that small group. Compare that to now. It’s a shadow of it’s former self, even with McInally and Paul Merson back in the frame.

This is where the magic happens

Here is where the stats come in. If you don’t really know too much about two teams and their match history, you can easily look like you do by reading through the notes given to you by the number crunching magic pixies. With the help of heat maps and percentage passes completed, you can look like you know what you are talking about. With the aid of all this AI, you can quote figures and performances as if you had sat through every game ever played. Hey presto. Mega pundit!

You could get a robot to do it.

Here’s the slightly delayed September 2024 update.

After a decent end to September, October has had a bit of a poor start.

I have got over Meslier’s mistake (as we all make them) and now fully lay the blame on

a) messing about at the corner flag instead of going for a third goal to kill the game off

b) Bogle’s daft needless foul when there were another 4 Leeds players around him and that guy was going nowhere

c) decision to sub Willy at 95 minutes which extended the game further

Although, realistically Sunderland hadn’t conceded at home all season, let alone let two goals in.

Consequently, I like most, would have taken a draw at kick off. Nevertheless, I just hope we won’t be rueing this result in March. However, it hasn’t been the worse September that we have ever had, Willy is still here. So, as we used to say under Bielsa, we go again. Like Earth, Wind and Fire, we will remember, the 21st night of September.

Monthly Branch Meeting

Thanks to all who turned up. LUSC exec minutes read out as were SAB minutes. Discussions around stadium development were had, Leeds are asking for feedback. Thank God we still have Gnonto. LUSC fixture lists are now available, please remind us if you haven’t got one.

Memberships

Everyone who sent a self addressed stamped envelope with their renewal form should have received their LUSC cards back. The ones who haven’t will get them on the bus at aways (if you are lucky enough to get a ticket!) or in the Holbeck Club matchday or at a monthly branch meeting. The Membership Secretary is processing them as quick as he can.

Away games

Members should continue to inform us if they want to go to aways and we will try help out with ordering tickets for those who have no access to the internet / website on sale days. Members are reminded to book a seat on the bus as soon as a ticket has been secured, as we will try to fill the bus for every game.

Player of The Month

Thanks to everyone who has voted so far for September. It is good that the majority of the branch do vote every month and have their say. Pretty much everyone has voted for Willy, but Firpo has been excellent as has Pascal. Not forgetting top scorer No Piroe, No Party

Leeds United Sponsored Player

Still no news despite several emails. There is a decent amount of money in the bank to pay for it. It just depends how much it has gone up by from last year. It was overwhelmingly decided that it is important for the branch to have a sponsored player. A local born one if possible, but certainly one from the Harrogate & District area.

A.O.B

It was good to see a Wrays bus for Cardiff. I’m sure it brought back some memories from the good old days. There were certainly enough comments on the Noseybook post. One from Malcom Wray himself!

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=7946811375448334&set=a.442033869259493&locale=en_GB

Ah, go on. Gwan, Gwan ,Gwan.

Mrs Doyle off of Father Ted. Classic comedy.

They truly broke the mould with this one.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about – what the heck were you watching in the 90s? If you can’t remember, then just watch the link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhhekdyJYZI

It is comedy gold. Ah go on. Gwan, gwan, gwan.

Ah go on!

Last last Saturday against Burnley, that’s what most of us were saying. Ah go on. Gwan. Unlike Mrs Doyle, we weren’t asking if anyone wanted a cup of tea, we were just asking to Gwan – shoot.

I’ve already put myself through the first half of the match again via SkyTVisf**kings**t. I’m not looking forward to the second half. At one point, Burnley were playing 4 up front. 4 up front, let alone 4,4,2 or 3,5, 1,1, or whatever formation we play. Yes, our 3 defenders were at one point defending against 4 attacking players. It isn’t a pleasant watch, that 45 minutes. I don’t even want to watch the second half. Even Jaidon Anthony, the guy that Farke hardly ever let on the pitch, was getting in the box.

How depressing.

When we got in the box, there were far too many flashy flicks, dinks and lay offs. What we needed was someone to aim in between the sticks and put their foot through the ball, rather than scuffing it or hitting it straight at the keeper.

Apart from the ball handed to Joseph on a plate in the first 2 minutes, we only had a couple more chances. But, for whatever reason, no one seemed to want to shoot, opting to go for a pass to someone / anyone else instead. It seemed like they had been told, in no uncertain terms, that only Joseph was allowed to have a shot in the box. There were far too many touches to no avail.

Ampadu seemingly was the only one allowed to shoot from outside the box too. When we got a free kick or throw in, regardless of which half we were in, all we did was send it straight back to Meslier. It’s now getting so easy to read us. We are like an open book, which has been flattened, words in font size 20 and in capitals.

Anyone who watches tennis will know, certain players have a ritual that they stick to before they serve. Rafa Nadal infamously had such a long routine of shirt tugs, hair tugs, nose wipes, shoulder shrugs etc. he almost forfeited points due to the length of time taken to serve. But stick to it he did, and he didn’t do too badly I guess. We have the same for every free kick and throw in.

Will we be doomed to be on the google list of “quirky sporting rituals” like Nadal too? Are we that predictable and formulaic?

Please, we can’t honestly be condemned to stick to the same routine every time the we win a throw in or free kick, can we? The trouble is, it happens so often that it seems that we are, even if we aren’t. Having watched a few PL games on the box, I can see that playing the ball out from the back is part of the new “modern” game. But does that mean we all have to do it? Why can’t we be different? Are we doomed to saying Gwan Gwan to no avail, because the players simply won’t go on.

Burnley clearly didn’t stick to modern game plan. Yes, they played it out from the back, but also chopped and changed, at least in the first 45 minutes so far they have. They attacked from just about every opportunity, shot from outside the box as well as inside. Hardly anyone tried to walk the ball in the back of the net.

The trouble is, we have had successive managers stick to their style of play. I saw a post referring to SkinnyJeans’ style of play as “penisball”.  I’m assuming it meant the shape of the formation, as opposed to anything else

Bielsa’s style was just

I’m not qualified as a manager, but the phrase is, if it works , don’t fix it. In Bielsa’s case, injuries were his main problem. You don’t get to 9th in your 1st season in the PL if it doesn’t work.

And before everyone starts going on about Bielsa’s stats at the end of his tenure, he did have a load of injuries. Our lynchpin Kalvin had been out for ages, as had Bamford and Coops. The spine of the team was decimated, but Kalv and Sir Patrick were set to return imminently. They should have just waited a bit longer. Our last 10 games last season weren’t exactly much better, otherwise known as relegation form.

Some SkyTVisf**kings**t Bielsa stats before Leeds ditched him:

this is copy and pasted from a Sky Sports report, please note the teams we were against.

Our end of last season run in, note our opponents with only Rutter playing with an injury

Just doing a small comparison for balance of course. It’s important to look at the totality and not just pick and choose which stats you want to believe because it suits your opinion. Looking at snapshots in isolation to make your point, renders things meaningless.

I know, I am so biased. I admit it. But let’s face it, you’re not reading this blog for journalistic impartiality, are you? This is my truth, not anyone elses’. This isn’t Verified Live with their “settled science” or that bloke off Look North who does the weather. I’m about as impartial as the BBC, but I am not burdened with scandal. Bonus!

Gwan

I’ve never been a fan of predictive and prescriptive football. Neverending stats about touches, passes, runs, tackles, distance covered, heat maps (!) bear absolutely NO relevance at all to entertaining and competitive football. The only people these stats are important to are the statisticians themselves, the people who input all the data and the companies who this AI belongs to. And of course the betting companies who milk their money in from people who gamble on these sorts of things. Knowing how far someone has run on the pitch and how many passes they have completed means nothing. Zilch.

Take the Citeh game yesterday against Arsenal. At one point Citeh had 105 passes to Arsenal’s 4. The result was 2-2. After Arsenal went down to 10 men they played 1, 6, 3. Citeh’s possession stats look amazing and but that whole dynamic XG (expected goals thing) was well out. Meaningless stats. Unless you are someone who believes that “the performance was more important than the points”, of course.

Gwan, gwan

And so to the display two days ago against Cardiff. Firstly, Cardiff – bottom of the league. Secondly, the game’s a free hit for us as it’s still technically post international break and we’d already lost against Burnley. Thirdly – we’ve got all these new players who have done well in the internationals.  What the bejesus was going on then?

They went down to 10 men early doors, it should have been cricket score against a team rock bottom of the league. Imagine what would have happened if Farke had taken the advantage of the extra man and stuck Piroe on straight away. It would have saved everyone slagging off Pascal for manning up to take the penalty. So many have forgotten it was Pascal who stepped up at Preston away, the only highlight of the day. And who took the penalty against Portsmouth?

Again, so many have selective memories to suit their whingeing.

Gwan, gwan, gwan

A show of strength and defiance came forward from the resolute 10 men of Cardiff.

No it didn’t. I’m lying, they were dreadful. But we made them look like they were unwavering and undaunted at our advantage. At times, they looked the more eager to score, but only because we fell over ourselves so much in the final third. We were crying out for substitutions early on to capitalise on the extra man, but we had to wait til nearly the flipping end of the game to see one. A fair number of us started chanting “attack, attack, attack”, hoping to God that this would be the impetus for change. We’d given up saying Gwan, gwan , gwan 10 minutes into the second half because it was pointless. We might as well have been saying go back, go back, go back.

At 84 minutes, finally a forward came on. And at 87 minutes we scored. The 8 minutes of stoppage time was about as unwelcome as a dose of the runs.

As difficult as it is for many to admit, we miss the days of heart stopping, spine tingling, breath holding Bielsaball. It was truly amazing, entertaining, competitive football. There was a passion there which I haven’t seen since, and probably will never see again.

I struggle so much with this patient playing out from the back. Watching us pass the ball sideways and backwards waiting for a perfect pass forward drives me bananas. Especially as the offside trap is our eternal enemy and Joseph just hasn’t enough experience yet to read the game, and get into space away from his marker. Missing the opportunity to get a free kick or a long throw in into the box for a glancing headed goal, only drives up the frustration level. As cheap as it sounds, the most important thing is winning. We could have 99% of possession but it would translate into nothing if the oppositions 1% possession resulted in a goal. The focus needs to be on scoring a goal, set piece or open play or ugly pinball style scramble in the box. It doesn’t matter. Winning matters. Points matter.

In the grand scheme of things, however, some other things are important too.

RIP Sol Bamba, truly taken too early.

August 2024 monthly update as follows:

Thank God that transfer window’s shut. The January window will be here before we know it, but at least Gnonto is still here. And, after all that mega whingeing from all the superfans about how much the Club were letting the fans down, it looks like we have got some cracking signings in Soloman, A O – let’s go Tanake et al.

I’m still griping as I thought Rutter would have stayed. But, the lure of the PL and the massive agent bonus fee, was obviously a bridge too far. By all accounts, had Archie not gone when he did, the EFL was going to hit the Club hard with a points deduction for not balancing the books by the 1st of July. FFP – if you put money in, something has to come out. It’s not called balancing the books for nothing!

After a not so brilliant start to the season, it has improved. August 2024 had at least one Cup game at home, woo hoo! Though, to be honest, if that is how we play at home in the Cup, we’re probably better off not getting a home tie! The less said about the drivel that was that Boro game the better.

Maybe that was the straw that broke the back when Georghi was deciding whether to stay or go. Perhaps he’d had enough of passing sideways and dead ball, set pieces in the oppositions half going back to Meslier. I don’t hold a grudge against him. He took so much stick when he arrived and at the start of his first proper season, I’m surprised he lasted that long. No doubt at all he was playing with an injury at the end of the season. Hernias don’t heal that quick, and stop / start / turns aren’t going to help in any recovery.

If he’d been allowed to just run at goal and shoot, rather than stopping to pass to that mardy git Summerville, so he’d look good in the shop window, he’d have got back to fitness much quicker. We might have actually gone up. However, Summerville needed to be paraded about so we’d get maximum profit. It’s funny how the relatively inexperienced Gray netted us more up front, than the Elite EFL Player of the Season. You can guess who I have a grudge against.

Back to August 2024.

Monthly branch meeting.

The monthly branch meeting is held on 1st Sunday of the month at the Londesborough Club, Bower road, Harrogate at 8pm, unless we are playing that day. All members are welcome.

Memberships.

Most people have renewed, thank you. If you haven’t yet because you are having problems with printing it out etc. please get in touch as soon as. You’ve got another 4 weeks tops.

Bookings.

Please get in touch if you want a seat on the bus or you’d like us to try order you tickets. Genuinely, we do not have psychic powers. If I hold messenger up to my head, there is no osmotic type transference. You need to tell me and I need to confirm it. Booking on but failing to turn up without a decent excuse, results in one strike and then  you are out. As of August 2024 Cardiff bookings currently being taken.

The rule is that paid up branch members get first dibs. Given the fuel rises and the subsequent increase in coach prices, we will take new members to fill the coach.

We won’t be running a bus to Plymouth, as voted on at the meeting. There won’t be that many tickets, it’s an early kick off and it’s a bloody long way. Please feel free to start looking into alternatives like train fares and accommodation. The likelihood will be that it will be moved to 12.30pm kick off.

Mailing list / facebook closed group.

The new 2024/5 season email list has been updated. If you find that you have renewed but are not on the mailing list, please get in touch. Those of you on facebook, you will be added to the closed group once the form has been processed. Currently anyone can post on the closed group, but if you start sharing rubbish which isn’t related to the branch, that will be changed. The public facebook page is open to all. No friend requests are routinely accepted as the AI / WEF / globalist bots keep trying to hack the page. Until this stops, I won’t be clicking anything.

Player of the Month vote.

Each branch member has a vote in the LUSC Player of The Month at the start of the next month. There will be a mail out or facebook post with a deadline for replies. Please reply to get your say. At the end of the season, the player with the most points will be awarded the trophy, provided he is still at the Club. Given most recent winners have been Kalvin, Harrison and Summerville, it’s not exactly a glowing recommendation. At least we are consistent.

Fundraising.

The Fundraising Officer is still continuing with his efforts. Please make sure you renew so you can be included in all the events. All events will be advertised as and when.

Leeds United Sponsored Player.

As usual we have to wait until the end of the August 2024 transfer window. Our last season’s sponsored player was Charlie Cresswell, who is currently doing well at Toulouse. When I get more info on who our potential sponsored player will be I will be in touch. More importantly, if the price is amenable, and we are given a choice, there will be an update.

Website.

This website is very difficult to keep up to date. If anyone is good at wordpress and has more time than me, please step forward. The blog is out of bounds, but any other news or events or photos are appreciated. It is hoped that once the Chairman retires, he can do his own Chairman Charley bit. I am sure he would appreciate any offers to be his Secretary.

LUSC Programme page.

If any branch member does anything spectacular and would like it to be in the programme, please get in touch. I need a decent quality photo / jpeg > 1mB and some (140 or so) words please. It doesn’t need to be spectacular, as God loves a trier – JOKING! Just something that you may be proud of or a group photo at a game. Nothing illegal / disreputable please! Any articles will be heavily vetted before they go to print.

A.O.B

Any other business, as opposed to A O Tanake.

There is a face to face LUSC exec meeting at ER once a month. Any branch member is welcome and you can come and hear / see what the LUSC do. Only Exec committee members can vote, but anyone can chip in and ask questions and contribute. The LUSC are the reason we are here and we do what we do. If you have any suggestions or if there are any issues that you think need to be raised, come along.

The season has begun in earnest. 1st, 2nd or 7th again. Wembley and it’s £7 pints can do one.

The Sea is like a cruel mistress. You can love her, you can hate her, but you can never trust her. Always taking but never giving. This is quote from a film called Maidentrip made in 2013, but you can imagine Johhny Depp saying it as Captain Jack Sparrow in discussions with Mr Gibbs, so here is the gratuitous Pirates photo from Yahoo

She is a thing of beauty, offering you mystery, hope and longing. Drawing you towards her, tempting you. There is a strange enchantment, you just cannot keep away. It cannot be explained but once seen, you watch and you keep coming back. She can give you the comfort of a lapping peaceful wave, but turn into a torrential tidal wave that will thrash you to smithereens.

Much like the sea, Leeds United is too, a cruel cruel mistress.

I’ve never had a mistress, but I have had Leeds United for decades, when would I have the time? I shower my club with  love and devotion. I lavish most of my money and precious hours, days and months on Leeds. And what do I get in return? Last season – that’s what I get!

Yet here I am! Back for more.

Happy New Season everyone.

It’s back. 9 more months of being kept prisoner to the actions of 11 men running up and down a bit of (sprayed) green, heavily watered pitch. With the added bonus of all the shenanigans of those in the Ivory Tower that is Fortess Elland Road and it’s keep, Thorp Arch. Stockholm Syndrome every week (twice a week if we are lucky!) for the next 36 weeks.

We are likes slaves, chained to the fortunes of these few. And like anyone under the spell of a cruel mistress – we will want it. We will want it so badly, that we will pay whatever it takes to be able to bask in it’s aura. Blood, sweat and tears. And depending on how desperate you are to watch us at an away game – a kidney or some other body organ which is spare. Whatever it takes to be there. Unless you are one of these lucky ones. If you can count forking out £850 lucky.

https://www.leedsunited.com/en/news/202324-away-season-tickets

I know this is from last season, but there isn’t a link to this seasons info, so it will have to make do.

Some of you won’t understand why I use the phrase “cruel mistress” to describe what some of you believe to be the love of your life. Who am I to call your first love “cruel”?

I am the one who sat through the dross of the start of the season hoping to God that we would have a full clear out of the legacy of SkinnyJeans’s and the 3 amigos X2 madness. I oohed and aahed over our unbeaten form after the losses at Preston etc. after Christmas / New Year. Then I sat through the last 10 games post Internationals, where we just seemed to pass backwards and sideways for eternity. I sat by helplessly whilst we lost our ground, when we were finally top after that Leicester game. The seemingly undaunting task of simply equalling the form of those below us, was that bridge too far.

Then THAT Norwich game away. THE Masterplan. Hold them at Carrow Road and beat them at Fortress ER. Even at 3 -0 up, (free) scarves awaving, I was still worried that we’d play it out from the back and get caught. But we didn’t. 4 -0. A resounding win of epic proportions. Then Wemberley, Wemberley. No comment, besides good day out before the game. Then torture.

Leeds United, she’s a cruel, cruel mistress. That – nobody can deny. Aaargh Captain Jack.

It is true to say that I have fallen in and out of love with Leeds United many, many times. Far too many times of late. Yet however cruel the mistress she is, I have repeatedly come back for more. Many of you are the same as I. Even though many won’t admit it. As I have got older, I have failed to get any wiser to her charms.

Progress

Football’s changed and continues to change. For the sake of “progress” ? We are told, we need to keep evolving and keep up with the times.

Whilst I agree the game thankfully has not changed, in as much it is still 22 men chasing a round thing, trying to get it in between two sticks for 90 minutes. The game has changed with “rounder” (can that actually be a thing?) balls, goal line technology / VAR and extra subs. The concerns round concussion and “elf and safety” have added more protection. Unlike football boots, which are a far cry from what we had in PE in the 70s! These new boots are as light as a feather. If I had these when I was a kid, I wouldn’t have any ankles left against the studs we used to play in.

I accept that in the old days, the only time millions used to watch a game live on the telly was 3pm on F A Cup Final day on the BBC. Now, everyone can watch every game all day, every day. In the old days, football was for the masses. Modern football is for the whole world, which is a good thing, I know. Tales of old, tell of people struggling to find out the results in Australia. Ah, the old days of listening to the results on the transistor radio. Or at least walking round the house with the radio, waving your arm in the air, trying to get reception. AM / FM. We were wired for sound.

The actual format of the game hasn’t changed. Or at least it hasn’t yet, from two halves of 45 minutes. But who knows? I have no doubt that in the future, it may become four quarters of the game, interdispersed with flamethrowers, cheerleaders and musical breaks. The way in which football has changed however, is that it is much more of a business.

We laughed at B*tes when he said that football was about more than 23 games (in relation to ER). Flipping ‘eck – he could see into the future and he was right! I never thought I would say that!

Football as we know it has changed. It IS a business now. Gone are the days of Jack Walker etc. buying Blackburn the league for the love of the game. Small Sovereign states are now buying the PL for the wealth that football generates from advertising, gambling, selling rights and all the rest that the consumeristic greed that ensues from a global brand. Football IS more than 23 games. It is football agents and fees, FFP, European (current) and Global (planned) leagues. Our modern game is the belittling of our domestic cups and winter breaks to “rest” players (play abroad for £££).

In 1888, none of the original 12 would / could have ever dreamt that over a century later, this is what it has become.

What to do?

As fans, and matchgoing fans at that (so far anyway), what can we do?

Nothing really. We just have to sit by and hope to God that we can still be that which we have been – matchgoing fans. But how long for? How long before £££ becomes more important than fans at games?

There’s talk that some of the PL clubs have already done away with concession prices for matches. Most will remember the days when Leeds had dynamic pricing. Reasoning? To encourage us to buy tickets early, cos we were a bit sh*t, and no one was going in those days. Yes – that DID happen. Leeds were rubbish and no one really wanted to go. You could walk up to the gates, well ticket office at least, at ER and pay on the day! Although it cost you more than if you’d bought it a week earlier. Yes – the ticket office WAS open most days of the week. Honest!

Leeds have already given up the under 11s prices. So, as far as I know, they will have to pay the same as under 16s? How long before they get rid of the over 65s concessions?

Complain and explain

As fans we are a bit like the Royal Family, never complain , never explain. I’m JOKING! We do complain, but we rarely get an explanation.

However, we don’t complain, we MOAN. We daren’t complain.

Who complains at a cruel mistress? No one. Lest they withdraw their favours and your privileges. We fear the repercussions and consequences of complaining. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Although I don’t think Newton was talking about football when he said that.

It’s now been a fair while since we had someone purporting to be the “voice” of the fans slating our players and demanding the removal / resignation of the Board. Whilst we know, these social media campaigns etc. are ephemeral, I fear that this was the start of the end of constructive dialogue and any discussions with those in power at Leeds United. It feels to me that information is just being dispersed not discussed.

I don’t know who / if anyone representing fans is actually having any discussions with Leeds United.  Certainly there have been decisions / changes at Leeds of late which don’t look like there has been fan involvement, but I could be wrong. Although, we have FINALLY got a yellow away shirt – hurrah!

The decision way back when of making the Pavilion corporate only was a poor one. NE corner fanzone is a poor substitute, especially for families and when it’s cold and peeing it down. This season better facilities have been promised though. Don’t even get me started on the digital tickets! I can only hope that the turnstile queues are better this season.

But it seems more and more that things are simply being announced. Increases in season ticket prices (twice in succession, and again next season), removal of under 11 pricing, removal of superaway category, games behind closed doors pre season etc. And then, last night, they announced that Sheff Weds tickets will go on sale today, at 1pm. 16 hours notice to get time off work, to try for a £45 (plus £1.50 booking fee) Sheff Weds ticket. Fantastic!

Things happening behind closed doors that we don’t know about, without a doubt. I’d  hasten to say that had we got promoted, things might have been a bit different. Probably? No, definitely. But we didn’t get promoted. We are still here. This must have been our Plan B? Surely?

It’s difficult though. You’d like to think that during the closed season, there might have been some discussion at least. Possibly may well have been, but I haven’t seen anything official on the website. It would be nice to know who / if anyone representing fans is involved.

My feelings personally are that it is up to the Club what they spend their money on and what they are going to do. After all, it’s their money. I don’t want any fan sat on the board inputting into that. Most of us can’t agree on what went on in the game we just watched, so there is no hope whatsoever that one person can speak on behalf of all fans.

However, anything that actually affects us, like facilities, pricing etc. I would like there to be at least some discussion or email survey or something. Not like the whole Swillington fix that Ridsdale did. No one I knew voted for us to move away from ER. Absolutely no one. That was rigged. Thankfully it never went through. I mean a proper survey, or just some feedback. All electronic unfortunately, so the digitally excluded would be – well – excluded. Just something. Anything.

Hopefully there is a Parliamentary Act in the offing, which does enable at least some dialogue. That’s a big job though. Undoubtedly, the views of the millions of fans who will never get an opportunity to go to ER and are happy to watch it on the telly, will outweigh the views of the 36,750 who can actually watch it live. There is no doubt about that. But it doesn’t mean that matchgoing fans don’t count. No one likes to feel that they are being ignored. The club know we will be back for more, every season, no matter what happens. We will forego our friends and family just to be at her mercy.

So, you see, Leeds United is a cruel mistress. Happy new season everyone! Let the fun commence!