Rotherham Ruminations

Posted by on Jan 28, 2019 in Chairman Charley | 0 comments

This weeks topical discussions include a mixture of O Level geometry and English, as well as the on going discussion of who The Chairman’s favourite cartoon characters were when he was growing up. Of course this implies that The Chairman has actually grown up…. Invited into the fray was the resident branch novelist, celebrated author Sonia, Ken, the man who’s aim it is to be in The Chairman’s inner circle and Steve The Pedant, who’s nemesis is citrus flavoured chocolate products.

Mathematical principles.

Q: So why is it that it is called an inner circle?

A: Eh?

Q: Why does it have to be an inner circle? What’s wrong with an inner square or a triangle? Even a rectangle?

A: Probably because inner rhombus just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Ring?? (drum roll and cymbal)

Q: But who decided it had to be a circle? What’s the point of a circle?

A: A circle doesn’t have a point, Charley, that’s why it’s called a circle. If it had a point it would be a pyramid.

Sonia: I knew a girl who went across a circle, she was called Di – Diameter

Ken: I knew a guy who just went halfway across, he’s called Ray – Ray Dius

A: I knew a Lord who went all the way round – they called him Sir , Sir Cumference.

The Chairman’s Inner Circle

Ken: So what do I need to do to get into your Inner Circle Charley?

A: My inner circle is closed now, there is only 4 people allowed.

Sonia: So there’s only 4 sides, so shouldn’t that be an inner square then?

CC: No, only four people, it is closed.

Ken: What if one of them leaves? How does another one get in if it is closed?

Sonia: Yes, what about the other 2996?

CC: No , these are my inner circle, not my followers, I have 3000 followers.

Sonia: So these 4 aren’t even your followers?

CC: No these are my inner circle.

Q: So none of your followers can be in your inner circle, then? What’s the point of that?

CC: It’s a circle, there is no point.

Cartoon Capers & Caricatures

CC: Which cartoon character would you go out with?

A: Eh?

CC: If you could go out with a cartoon character, who would it be?

A: It’s not something I have really put a lot of thought into actually. Why on earth would you think of something like that?

CC: No, just, without thinking, who would you go out with from a cartoon? What about Penelope Pitstop?

A: You’d have to deal with Peter Perfect and The Ant Hill Mob, so you wouldn’t get a look in there.

Steve: Jessica Rabbit

CC: No, she’s real, she’s not a proper cartoon character.

Steve: She’s not real, Charley.

CC: I thought about Wilma from the Flintstones, but she just shouts too much. You’d never get a moments peace.

Dave: What about Betty?

CC: Oh yes, Betty. No wonder Barney married her.

Citrus based chocolate products

(Victory Jaffa cakes were offered round after the game)

Steve: No thanks, I can’t stand them.

A: Eh?

Steve: I just don’t like them.

Q: But you eat oranges?

Steve: Yep

Q: You like chocolate?

Steve: Yep

Q: What about Terry’s chocolate orange? Tap It, Unwrap It?

Steve: Ugh

Q: Quality Street Orange Creme?

Steve: Even worse

Q: What’s up with you man?

Steve: I like both in isolation, just when the two are put together, can’t cope. And it’s not just oranges, it’s any citrus product in combination with chocolate

CC: Is that your Kryptonite then?

Steve: I suppose so

CC: Do you lose all your super powers in the presence of a Jaffa Cake?

Steve: I didn’t know I had any. If I had, I could break into your inner circle.

CC: Not if there were any Jaffa cakes nearby you wouldn’t.

thanks to googleimages for the picture of The Pedant’s kryptonite





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Stoke Shenanigans

Posted by on Jan 23, 2019 in Chairman Charley | 0 comments

There was much discussed on the way to Stoke, fortunately, I am not going to go through all of the stories though, as the tone was significantly lowered a few times too many.

Songs To Watch The World Go By

CC: This must be one of the best songs about Brexit and the EU.

A: Eh?

CC: Hotel California

A: Eh?

CC: Well, just listen to it.  It’s just the same as what’s going on now. You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.

A: Point taken

Food For Thought

CC: 10cc did my favourite song

Q: what’s that then Charley?

CC: You’re not in love. Great song

A: Not as good as Hotel California

CC: 10cc, what a brilliant name for a band. Do you know why they were called 10cc?

A: No, not really, kinda unusual.

CC: Well, it’s because it’s supposed to have something to do with the amount of “fluid” that comes out when you have sex.

A: Eh?

CC: You know when a man (the rest of this conversation has been redacted as too delicate for you, dear readers)

MPO: Brilliant. I am trying to eat my ham sandwich….. Cheers

CC: Did you have any mayo on that?

Lessons In Love

CC: All I had to do was post “The Perfect Year” by Dina Carroll, and it all fell into place

A: Eh?

CC: The Perfect Year – “I don’t need a crowded ballroom, everything I need is here”

A: Eh?

CC: “If you’re with me, next year will be, the perfect year”

A: Eh?

CC: It’s a classic, you don’t even need to say anything else. The song says it all

A: Is this the sure fire way to pick up women, Charley?

CC: Works for me, every time.

Charley’s Angels

Q: So who would be your favourite Angel then Charley?

A: Farah Fawcett Major. Has to be

Q: Wasn’t she replaced though?

A: Farah Fawcett, the other two weren’t anywhere near, couldn’t touch her.

Dave: I thought the one with the black hair was alright.

Steve: Kate Jackson, yeah she was ok

CC: No, Jaclyn Smith – she had the black hair

Dave: No Kate Jackson

CC: No, everyone’s favourite was Farah Fawcett Major

Steve: Isn’t she dead now?

Dave: Is she dead? How would you know if she is dead?

CC: Well she wouldn’t be moving would she? Go up to her and prod her.

MPO: Just Google it

CC: No honestly, you don’t need to google it. If she doesn’t move, it means she’s dead.


thanks to google images for the picture of Charlie’s Angels

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Pot, Kettle, Black – The Last Word

Posted by on Jan 13, 2019 in Blog | 0 comments

Here’s to hoping that this will be the last word on this subject, but obviously the Leeds United hate mob on BBC Look North have yet to summarise on the Monday evening football round up, so we will just have to wait and see 6.30pm tomorrow night.

After this morning’s rather refreshing snippet on SkyTVisf**kings**t’s Sunday Supplement, I live in hope that the hysteria on Friday and Saturday will have finally died down. When the dust settles and SkyTVisf**kings**t’s carefully orchestrated pre-match build up is finally revealed as the cheap attempt to get viewing figures up, that it was, the truth will out.

It is a sad state of affairs when something like this is used as a soundbyte and manipulated so badly that even the washed up hasbeens that they dragged out to tow the party line are sweating so much, it looked like they’d had twelve rounds with Josh. No amount of make up is ever going to get that shine off your forehead, Keith.

Apparently even the Rozzers had put out a tweet that showed someone sat in the back of a police van. What happened to innocent until proven guilty? What happened to right to privacy? What happened to confidentiality? On an even more serious note, what crimes were not being dealt with, whilst the Derby constabulary were sent to the training ground on an errand of “something really important?”

The sad fact is that as soon as the news broke, SkyTVisf**kings**t and the (tax payer funded) BBC just could not help themselves. There was no way they would not jump on this opportunity to bump up the ratings. You can see the “kerching” dollar signs and Pulitzer prize eye balls flicking furiously along with the slobbering jowls of sports editors. Not until the hysteria had dampened, after they had speed-dialled every single old player/manager at whistle stop speed to get their “reactions”, did someone realise that they should really have checked their information.

By then it was too late, the damage had been done and all they could do was hope that no one would bring up Fergie sending drones to the Blue side of the city in 2009 and that they was no evidence of what Mourinho got Villa Boas to do (whilst Lampard was at Chelski). The beauty of social media though is that nothing ever gets deleted for good and sure enough, the pictures of articles and tweets etc. were swiftly put up on Facebook, twitter etc. to remind folk that the truth is out there.

To save face, none of this was mentioned in dispatches, as of course, no one likes to be told that they are wrong. So the perpetuation continued until Charlie Nicholas, on the programme which was directly after the Leeds v Derby game, unbelievably (Jeff), said it was going on in his day. Ouch!

As I see it, the only good thing to come out of this will be that in the run up to the January transfer window, SkyTVisf**kings**t will have to choose their words very wisely. The norm is that they have reporters, standing outside training grounds, trying to look into cars and over walls etc in the last week of January, waiting for “the sensational latest news”. All you hear is the phrase “reports from Sky Sports sources is…” or “we have inside information from sources at the Clubs…” . It is on 24 hours a day, 7 days a weeks if you have the Sky Sports 409 news channel on in the background through January. You also get it on Sky news on their sports updates.

Who are these “sources”? Is this not just the same as some bloke looking over a wall at Derby?


credits to John Takai at for the photo via googleimages

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QPR conundrums

Posted by on Jan 13, 2019 in Chairman Charley | 0 comments

Never known to shy away from the important business of the day, here are The Chairman’s observations from a trip to That London on Sunday.

Dua Lipa

Can you believe that we come all the way down to London and I get served by one of the most glamorous famous singers in the country?

Q: Who’s that then Charley?

A: Dua Lipa

Q: Who’s that then Charley?

A: Dua Lipa, one of the most beautiful singers in this country

Q: Who’s that then Charley?

A: Dua Lipa she sang New Rules, you know, her and Calvin Harris

Q: Who’s that then Charley?

(this goes on for a little bit in a similar rein)

Q: So are you saying that one of the biggest selling artists in British pop culture, has a Sunday job in Spoons and served you breakfast then, Charley?

A: Well no, but it did look a lot like her. Can’t believe you don’t know who Dua Lipa is.

Meaningless music

Q: Can you imagine Sting and The Police go up and do a gig in Scotland and they get introduced on stage as “The Polis”

A: Eh?

Q: Like what can you believe what these old bands got away with in the 80’s?

A: Eh?

Q: Well, can you imagine if nowadays someone released a song title that was just a load of old nonsense?

A: Eh?

Q: De do do do, de da da da, that’s all I want to say to you. That’d get slammed on social media.

A: It’s a good song that.

Q: Imagine if I put that up on facebook as my status – de do do do, de da da da, everyone would just laugh

A: No comment


The song lyrics have been investigated for this piece, and lo and behold, Sting actually had an important message in the title, please see link below.

I am not casting any judgement about how pretentious Sting was (is) but anyone who saw Dune might understand where I am coming from..


Thanks to for this picture, not sure how many people will be thanking me for reminding them how bad he was though




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