As embarrassing as our embattled search for a new manager is, it gives me a great opportunity to quote yet more Shakespeare, and draw a parody / parallel from one of my favourite film franchises, Indiana Jones. This time, the film is Indiana Jones – The Last Crusade – i.e. the search for the Holy Grail and the scene where he drinks from what turns out to be, the Poisoned Chalice. His poor choice as the ancient Crusader says. Two of my favourite actors Harrison Ford and Sean Connery

Or if you prefer the full clip

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVGGo7T5oFo

Cinema magic. I seriously want to put something in from Monty Python and The Holy Grail, but it is completely irrelevant to my piece today. I’m doing it anyway, because am so obsessed with this part in Life Of Brian

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Lc86JUAwwg

It’s the first thing I think of when our number 39 runs on the pitch. How very childish, I know.

Back to it now. How did we ever get from Holy Grail to Poisoned Chalice? This is the quote from The Great Bard

https://www.enotes.com/topics/macbeth/questions/this-even-handed-justice-commends-the-ingredients-2432902

We got to the Promised Land and The Holy Grail of the PL under Bielsa. The rest is history. Once again, we find ourselves just above the relegation zone and managerless. Or Head Coach-less as they say nowadays. This time, there is no one waiting in the wings. There was no pre-planned head honcho to come and take the hot seat this time. Worse still, it appears that no one actually wants the job. The role that was so vaunted, is now just a poisoned chalice, it seems. I don’t think the Board expected this, did they?

How has this happened?

Why is this the Poisoned Chalice? I bet The Club are asking the same question.

To me, the answer is simple. There is an obvious internal struggle at our Club. An infernal, internal struggle over who is actually in control. It seems it is a fight to the death between Radrizzani v Orta v The 49ers v The Fans who the Club listen to. I added the last one for fun, they just want the bragging rights…

To me, there are a few reasons to why no one wants to come and manager the Club.

1) Why would anyone want to come to a Club that treated Bielsa with so little respect? I am biased, obviously, but given the way that Bielsa was dismissed, is there any self respecting manager who would be willing to take the risk of being sacked which such disregard? There were probably managers who would have taken this job, maybe because they didn’t like Bielsa. Dyche probably would have come, but that horse has bolted. The chance of Pochettino coming here is about as likely as me winning the Eurosquillions. But there’s always hope!

2) The noises from the Club were that they were fully behind SkinnyJ and he was never going to move on. Whether intentional or not, it looked like the investment into his style of play, his former RB players and his USA connections were going to keep him here and keep him safe. The massive investment into this squad showed a statement of intent. The songs for the players even though they hadn’t necessarily demonstrated their worth, the PR stuff, the planned pre season tours etc. All of this a show of common purpose, a full on commitment. So something pretty serious must have happened to turn the tide.

What message does that send to any prospective manager? It says that despite the millions of investment and vocal support, we will drop you like a stone if it comes to it.

3) Our fickle, fickle fans and the toxicity that is on social media. Some of the stuff I have seen is palpably poisonous. The most bizarre thing about it is that, as I was reminded early this week, we have always had fickle fans. Even back in the 70s and 80s. However, (un) social media has got a lot to answer for. As someone said a few days ago, there is no healthy debate anymore, just lots and lots of endless abuse dealt out to people who disagree. Much of this is down to managing expectations. Many many people were caught in the euphoria of getting promoted and then that fine 1st season up. The trouble was, once it looked like we were going to struggle, the exhilarating exuberance turned to melancholic misery. Those who were faint of heart and not necessarily used to the obligatory ups and downs of being a Leeds fan have struggled. In their struggle, harsh words have been spoken. Every day almost. Plus, it’s not even the newer Global audience fans who have been so outspoken, some have been longstanding fans who have just exhausted their tolerance. Who would want to be the manager of a Club with fans with such bitterness towards each other?

Me, if I was asked, I would baulk at it. 

The Answer

My choice would be someone with PL experience, either playing or coaching. Given serious lack of investment by the PL / FA over the last 30 years into getting ex PL players involved into the coaching side, there is little chance of that.

This week the FA / EPL have done a massive press release promoting inclusivity and diversity. Which is great, but what has been going on for the last 20 years? Given the breadth of talent in the last 30 years, why haven’t masses of the old PL players made it into coaching full stop, let alone any of an ethnic minority? If you think about how many of the formers stars (of colour or not) have made their money in the punditry business, why hasn’t anyone really  succeeded as a manager? If they have so much technical nous, why are they just sat spouting drivel on the box?

Is it money? Probably. The True Gods of Football at SkyTVisf**kings**t and BT are loaded. Most of the time the pundits are sat indoors, warm in the cold weather and airconned in the summer. They are shielded from the verbals unless they dare go pitchside. Travel and expenses paid for by the puppet masters.

Is it that the richest, most exciting league in the world isn’t really bothered about future  development in coaching skills? Are any players encouraged to go down the coaching route at all towards the latter stages of their careers?

I think it is all about money. The FA and the PL earn it. Players earn it. Greedy agents earn it. The Clubs earn it, but then end up splashing it all on players wages and agents fees, and the massive transfer fees of course. How much of the money goes back into grass roots football and investment into the community?

Here is an example of a PL club investing in it’s money in it’s community

https://www.charitytoday.co.uk/how-manchester-city-supported-its-community-during-a-record-breaking-season/

Strange then that Citeh is being pilloried by PL and the FA. The facilities for match going fans at Citeh rank amongst the best in my experience (almost on a par with Accrington – they took cash!). If you think about New White Hart Lane and how unfriendly that ground is with regards to parking and facilities for less abled fans. There’s no need to comment on Chelski’s ground after last season. Old Trafford looks like a crumbling relic from the 70s (not as bad as our West stand though) and Livarpool probably spend a lot of their funds on VAR and referees / linesmen. As Pep said, it’s mostly because they are jealous. I hope Citeh’s lawyers take the PL to the cleaners.

Back to the Holy Grail and Poisoned Chalice. 

We are no longer a “big” club, despite what our PR says. We are relegation fodder. It’s my belief that this stems from the infernal internal disputes at our club. At least under Cellino we knew who was in charge. Who the Big Kahuna is now, is anybody’s guess. Until this gets sorted, who will come to Leeds?

The new manager, or any new manager worth his salt will want to be in charge of who he picks. Any new manager should be able to pick the best 11 men and subs for the game. This is essential. For however long he feels he is unable to do that because either the Board or the fans are whingeing, no one would want to come.

No players should automatically assume they will be picked. Regardless of how much they cost the Club, which country or previous club they played for, or if they have a good song or not. There is not one player who deserves to be played because it’s good for the Global brand. If a player isn’t fit, he shouldn’t even be in the dugout. If he can’t last 90 minutes, unless he is the next Solskjaer or Tore Andre Flo, no player should be on the teamsheet.

The facts

We have 16 games left. Our team need to be fit to last 90 minutes, or at least know that they need to be attacking and winning every ball if they get on for the last 20 minutes. Our new manager needs to be scrutinising every opponent so we can exploit their weaknesses and capitalise on our strengths. There does need to be a Plan A, B, C, D and E – whatever it takes. Social media critique needs to pipe down. Just say your piece and be done with it. When people start swearing and abusing each other, the argument is lost. Each to their own opinion, it is all valid. We are all individuals not sheep. No one needs to be told what to think. It is not 1984.  

The facts are:

1) We give the ball away far too much.

2) We cannot hold the ball up, especially under pressure

3) We pass sideways and backwards too much, especially in the 2nd half when we are losing.

Fans whinge that the defence is the problem. If we only ever conceded goals from corners or set pieces, I would accept that. But how many goals have been handed to our opponents, on a plate, in the middle of the pitch from a lazy casual flick or a panic pass? Too many. It is part of a bigger problem. We don’t play measured football anymore.

Under Bielsa we played a fast flowing, slick passing game when it worked. The last 12 months has seen what can only be described as panic passing. It’s fast, but it is uncontrolled, frantic and frenetic. Everyone clumps together like cold porridge. It’s like watching a pinball game with the ball pinging all over the place and everyone tripping over each other with their heads on fire.

Like all teams we have strengths, like Gnonto’s speed and drive and weaknesses. But with a resurgent Firpo and Wober looking better and better each game, our defence is starting to take shape. As seen in the last two games, Harrison and Bamford work hard and cause trouble, which aids the running of Willy and whoever else is out on the wing. Our central midfield needs work to link it all up.

For me Rodrigo’s absence is a key factor. If he had been there for Forest and the last two games against Sc*m, we would have won 2 and possibly just drawn the last one. He shouldn’t even have travelled given we had Rutter, Perkins and Greenwood available to support Patrick up front. Coming on at Accrington is the thing that has hurt us the most and possibly was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Ultimately, I think the ridiculous decision to bring him on at 3 -0 up cost SkinnyJ his job, let’s hope it doesn’t end up costing us a PL spot next season. 

Let’s hope we can find someone who will take on the poisoned chalice and turn the tables on it, and see us back to the Holy Grail. 

Dogma. If you have never seen this film from 1999, I suggest you get yourself to Blockbuster and rent it, or download / stream it. It is a highly entertaining film. One of it’s key messages from the great Alan Rickman himself,

And then this excerpt. If you have never seen Dogma, yes that is Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Matt is the fallen Angel of Death, Loki and Ben is his best mate Bartleby. Watch til the end. It makes sense and is may be what poor Jesse is thinking right now. The soccer reference not the genocide.

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=mass+genocide+is+the+most+exhausting&source=lmns&bih=757&biw=1600&hl=en-GB&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjZpP-B-IP9AhV7hCcCHbnAAW8Q_AUoAHoECAEQAA#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:997367f1,vid:pIelWTguBzA

Dogma – a principle or set of principles, laid down by an authority, as incontrovertibly true. We will get back to this later.

The Blame Game.

Contrary to popular opinion, I do feel sorry for SkinnyJ. I’m not going to lie, I didn’t like him or his jeans, but he moved his family over here on some wild premise that he was the best man for the job. He is now out of a job, and I will not kick a man when he is down.

The person(s) to blame are the ones who convinced him that despite having had no previous experience of playing, let alone managing any English football team, he was the right man to take Leeds United to European Glory. The blame lies with the person(s) who told him that he could quickstep into the shoes of a man who brought Leeds United back to the Promised Land in 3 seasons. The person(s) who told him that Leeds fans would take to him without any dissent at all, regardless of what happened, is the one at fault.

The board had gambled with Bielsa. The gamble with the Maverick had paid off.  He got us promoted, and as a bonus propelled Leeds onto the Global stage with the “high press” and Bielsaball. Bielsa just got too big for the board in the end, and luckily for them, the results gave them the excuse to get rid of him.

The board gambled with SkinnyJ. We didn’t get relegated. But, that was mostly down to the fact that a) our opponents weren’t that good, b) teams thankfully went down to 10 men (Brentford down to 9) and c) Newcastle didn’t go on holiday early and they beat Burnley on the final day.

The PR staff did a brilliant job selling Bielsa down the river at the end. Leaks were rife about “over -training” and injuries caused by murderball. Players came out and said that they weren’t happy because of the intensiveness of the gruelling training schedule. Every other post from the influencers on social media said that Bielsa was going to take us down.

The fact that so many of our players were injured was dismissed as a lame excuse, and anyway, the injuries were blamed on Bielsa, and Bielsa alone. Nothing to do with teams hacking us down at every opportunity because they couldn’t deal with our skill on the pitch. Everyone forgets the horrible tackles inflicted on our players at the start of the 2nd season up. The phrase “Bielsa got found out” roughly translated into, the other teams couldn’t match us, so they man marked up and kicked us to death.

Everyone forgets that Phillips came back from the Euros injured, and basically never got back to fitness again. He went to Citeh ages ago and still hasn’t played a full 90 minutes yet (still Bielsa’s fault?) . Everyone forgets that Rodrigo got injured early doors and poor Dallas played in every game as Mr Utility because he had to fill in every gap.

The PR team and the influencers did a brilliant job in dismissing and shouting down the minor detail of our obscene injury list. This despite so many pundits bemoaning and PL managers maximising on the loss of the “Leeds United spine” of Cooper, Phillips and Bamford. Yes – that was a thing.

Dogma? Or just well orchestrated diversion?

In these last few weeks when it became clear that more people were pointing out we hadn’t won a game since November, and 2 wins out of 17 was relegation form, it was like deja vu.

This time however, rather than the anti Bielsa noise we had last year, this time it was “blame everyone but the manager”. Poor Pascal has been the main target for the last 6 weeks. It’s been a wonder he’s still got his head on straight. Even though Struijk is not a left back and has never said he is, he has been continually played out of position. Even when we signed Wober, who played on the left for Salzburg, Pascal still didn’t move back to his favoured central role.

Who knows what would have happened if Pascal had partnered Llorente in the middle? Llorente might have not been moved on (after signing a massive contract extension) if that partnership had been successful? Especially if a left footed player was on the left and a right footed player on the right on the wing? Similarly let Harrison play in his natural position on the wing? Give Klichy a start seeing as he made a difference when he came on as a sub? Or is that making too much sense?

But there’s no place for sensible thinking in football, is there? You get told what to believe. Dogma.

Keep the faith. That’s what we’ve been fed since Christmas. Keep the faith with 2 wins out of 17? No one wanted to keep the faith with Bielsa. Or at least no one was told to keep the faith with Bielsa, even with a massive injury list.

We’ve been subjected to “it’s not down to the manager that we can’t finish / defend from a corner” for the last month or so. Yet, it was all down to Bielsa last season that we were leaking goals and we couldn’t score.

At Accrington Stanley, we were 3-0 up. We’d won. It was cold. Accrington are in Division 3. We had the prospect of facing Sc*m twice in the space of a week and our next opponents were one of our relegation rivals. Why was Rodrigo risked? Who knows? He was risked though, and now he is out for 2 months.

Once again, we were fed that “all you Leeds fans moan if we don’t play a proper side and moan if we do” from the influencers. We were 3-0 up. There was no need to bring him on unless Accrington scored 3 goals in 10 minutes. Common sense at some point should have prevailed. Nope. Again, shouted down by ? Who? Who are these people? Are these the ones that the Club listen to?

Are these the ones who the Club rely on to communicate with as “the proper fans of Leeds United”? Are these the ones responsible for advising the board on their decision making process? Are these the people who, when asked if bringing in a manager who had no previous experience in English football was a good idea, said yes? Are these the ones who said that everyone wants their season ticket on their phone, and yes, that crest looks awesome? Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

So was it SkinnyJ’s decision to play so narrow? Was it his decision to play us so close together that players are effectively tripping up over themselves? Is it his decision to play a man in a guarding role around the centre circle? Was it his decision to play Rodrigo up front on his own most of the game and only let  Gelhardt on for the last 5 minutes? Was it his decision to make Struijk and Rasmus push so far forward and attack the goal, so as to leave Meslier unprotected on the counterattack?

Like the conundrum of whether Bielsa would have got us relegated or not, no one knows. And, the same will be for SkinnyJ. Would he have beaten Sc*m on Weds, seeing as most of them are injured? Would he have kept us up? No one knows.

What about the decision to sign up £150+ million of new players. More money has been spent in the last year than we have spent in decades. And not just because Ken was a tight ar*e either. Surely, the fact that most of them are either American and / or played for Red Bull teams cannot be a coincidence? Surely, the endless moaning on social media complaining we never sign BIG names affected that? As Sherlock Holmes said “when you have eliminated all the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth”.

Truth or Dogma?

Xenophobia

The latest crime Leeds fans are being accused of is xenophobia and anti-Americanism. Why? Is it just a cheap dig and an easy win? No one said that the anti Bielsa movement was anti Argentinian. Or the pro Bielsa mob were pro Argentinian. Why should it make a difference what nationality he is? I objected to his “Californian Upspeak”, but I object to anyone who finishes their sentences with an inflection when it is not necessary. Which is basically everyone under the age of 21. What is the need to make everything sound like a question, even when it isn’t? What is irrefutable is that 2 wins in 17 games is relegation form and we are in the bottom four of the table. Being American or not, cannot change this.

What do I want?

I would like players to play in their normal positions. Centre halfs, full backs, attacking midfielders, defensive midfielders, wingers and centre forwards. I would like us to practice set pieces until we get it right. If this means that we get in a load of 6 foot basketball players in and lined up in the box, to replicate most if not all PL teams at corners, then so be it. The thing we are lacking is height in the box. When defending corners and attacking corners. Short of some sort of medical intervention which allows players to grow another 6 inches, we need a tactic of defending from corners that actually works. I would stop all that whispering when we are taking corners too and that draught excluder business for free kicks.

I’d also like to see players last 90 full minutes of football without a load of huffing and puffing. The fitness that players had under Bielsa seems a million miles away. Our players need to be able to trap a ball and run into space with it. They need to be able to turn without losing the ball. If the baby giraffe that is Haaland, can bring a ball down and turn on a 20p piece without needing the turning circle of the Titanic to do it in, then surely at least half of our team can do it.

Maybe this is exacerbated by wearing the equivalent of a pair of those sock slippers. I remember my first pair of football boots. Sturdy and supportive. Able to protect from those horrible two footed lunges. These things that they wear nowadays are about as effective as a lettuce, or what Kalv was wearing in his fashion heyday, those quaver shoes.

I would go as far as to say that part of the coaching staff should be made up of ex players who know the English game. I know some players aren’t exactly the most eloquent, but Sammy Lee, Gary Mac are still on the coaching staff for a reason. Maybe Pablo and Beradi could have made a difference? At the very least someone who knows that Villa are a bunch of cheating, time wasting gits, as are Brentford, that Maguire can’t turn left and a Ward Prowse will always go over or around the wall, never under.

The fact is that football as I know it has changed massively. The commercialisation of the “Beautiful game” is driven by money. It’s come a long way from the lower class game it was and “jumpers for goalposts”. I still want it to be about the 90 minutes on the pitch, but it isn’t. it is about the sponsorship deals, the advertising opportunities, the stats that create the betting opportunities and the accas.

It’s not just football, it’s happened at cricket too. Progress, they call it. The County game is belittled and the creation of the Twenty20 and now the Live The Hundred, has opened the game up to a whole new audience, with limited staying power and attention span for the test game. The IPL is all about the flashy colours, big hitters, 4s and 6s and each shot is celebrated with loud music and fireworks. The English game, which was separated by counties is now being watered down and the county identity is waning.

The 90 minutes of football (and 20 overs of cricket) is punctuated with music and it’s basically theatre and spectacle. There are fewer and fewer of us that are just bothered about the game on the pitch. The wider global (TV) audience want more. Gone are the days of the commentators just talking about who has kicked or passed the ball and how far. Its ENTERTAINMENT.

The PL, FA, UEFA and FIFA are ultimately wanting to make money on the captive audience sat in front of their screens. There are two sorts of fans, the ones that just want to watch the game, and the ones who get bored quickly and want something else to do. They’re ones who start looking at their phone to see what the other scores are. The ones who start talking about what they did at the weekend.

These two groups have different needs but there’s no doubt which group will be the highest commercial revenue pot. Is it any wonder that matchgoing fans are increasingly marginalised? But even matchgoing fans will be subjected to “entertainment” in the future. If you look at the American sports, there are cheerleaders, half time music spectacles, camera close ups on the crowd, opportunistic “themes” to encourage spectators to be part of the crowd and things to do to make it an “immersive” experiences.

All this will be magnified 1,000 fold for the TV audience, but soon it won’t be enough. Soon, it will be “Here is The News” but only a snippet and then you have to pay extra for the rest. “Here is the game” but only some highlights, you have to pay for the rest. “Here is the whole game” but if you want the build up, you’ll have to pay extra… and so it will continue.

Guaranteed, there will be a PL dedicated channel soon. Then, even if you get SkyTVisf**kings**t or daft enough to pay for Ferdinand and BT, you probably won’t get to see any of the other games unless you pay extra. It is all about money and the cookies and the clickbait you get on the streaming channels.

Dogma

In the PL and even when it was the old first division really, the big clubs have always had everything their way. When the smaller clubs like Blackburn and Leicester won the League, it was a rarity and it didn’t last long. For the time they were at the top, or getting to the top, these smaller clubs and their players were ridiculed. Who can forget the running Shearer “beans” joke.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aunrSUTxTY

This is the trap. When Leicester won the league out of the blue, look what happened to Vardy when he was catapulted to fame. Or rather look what happened to Mrs Vardy, that hasn’t ended well has it? WAGS at war – or something like that.

The “Glamour” clubs have always been like this. The London clubs with all their “metropolitan” lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, have always had that Capitalism, glitzy down South-ness. Not just about the football, but the booze and the women and the gambling a la George Best.

But with the fame and fortune came the sleaze and back handers and dodgy dealings. ‘Arry Redknapp and brown envelopes etc. etc. And this is where (I am reliably informed) the whole “Chelsea R*nt Boy” thing started. The story was that the rozzers were doing dawn raids for money laundering scams / betting rings etc. and they busted in early doors on some high profile footballing scouts and money men. Only to find that it wasn’t money they were hiding, alledgedly, but rather some young impressionable players / potential players in rather compromising positions. There were murmurings that there were perhaps other ways of getting into teams that didn’t require the necessary football skills. All hearsay and gossip off course, but , as they say, there’s no smoke without fire.

This is what the lesser / Northern clubs are up against. BIG money, BIG signings. Fame and fortune favour the brave. So, to help out, the marketing and PR teams go all out to make up for this with campaigns to up the ante to bring the smaller clubs to the fore. Corporate packages are the must, just look at the huge corporate tiers at Arsenal, Chelski and Spurs but what about the terraces? That’s easy, just get people to manufacture songs for players, even though they haven’t been proven on the pitch. It’s better than letting the fans make up songs themselves, which may (or may not be) offensive and not in the spirit of the PL.

The difficulty with the PL is that it isn’t a “one size fits all”. Each club is different. The one size fits all thing works with the European Super League though. So it was no surprise when all that came out. It is still hiding in the shadows there though. Waiting…

In the meantime, who chooses the new manager? The fans? The money? The Board?

Who knows

It began in February 2022, or at least that was the starting point of our story. It could be said that perhaps the ideas were set in motion sooner, but for us, it began in Feb 2022.

I’ll start the story with the classic Star Wars rip off…

A long time ago, in a League far, far away…

It began with Leeds United, a footballing side with lots of history but in recent times, had fallen on hard times. Owners, managers, skint Arabs, liquidations, you name it , Leeds had done it. The scale of the tumultuous fall from Grace, was forever known as “Doing A  Leeds”.

Then a little known manager arrived on the banks of the River Aire from, of all places, Argentina. Not the massive footballing nation of the U S of A, from the smaller, less significant continent of South America.

The football was different and  like a breath of fresh air, Leeds United  breathed life into a stagnant EPL. Soon, both players and pundits, managers and fans and the all important True Gods of Football, became transfixed in what later came known as Bielsaball. Leeds United once again, rose from the devastation of 17 long years away from Top Flight football, and were reborn.

But, despite the awakening of the Forgotten Giant with fancy footwork and quality football, it was just not good enough to increase the Global brand of the “magnificient new” Leeds United. The football on the pitch was good, but it’s global presence was still in it’s infancy. The potential was there, but it was hampered by it’s marketability.

The new American investment in Leeds United, by the 49ers, was part of a second attempt at a USA foray into the EPL. This time, it’s mission was to build back better. After the last couple of minor incursions by the Glazers of Man Utd and the Hicks and Gillet double act at Livarpool hadn’t really scored them many points, The Americans dabbling in the English football game had to get better. When the Henry dynasty of FSG, along with Lebron James, managed to finally get a better footing on Merseyside, with the help of Gurning Klopp, Uncle Sam’s foot was firmly wedge in the door.

With the Kroenke family at Arsenal, the Edens at Villa, Clearlake at Chelski, the two part owners at Fulham and Palace and lastly the guy who bought Bournemouth, there were now 9 PL clubs owned / part owned by USA groups or sporting partnerships. Cue the Welsh assault, by the albeit Canadian born, but now dual registered, Ryan Reynolds and lo and behold, in Feb 2022, the English football league was well within the bounds of the “Special Relationship”.

Back to Leeds United in February 2022.

The global brand seriously needed a kick start at this club. Luckily, despite having a decent first season in the PL, Leeds United were mightily suffering with injuries, and a change of manager could be the catalyst for change. Bielsa had good footballing knowledge on the pitch, but knew very little about the corporate side of things, off the pitch. He didn’t like doing interviews, and the only social media presence was just of him with fans taking selfies. He didn’t really like the players to be distracted by off field activities, so promotion of the “Global brand” was not his forte.

Perfect. Dispose of Bielsa and install someone who really knew how to market the brand. The Bielsa audience was dull. Realistically, he could only engage with the South American continent. Hardly a massive football history there then! Inconsequential, as there would be no market there to engage with. Saturation point was selfishly with their own teams, River plate – what sort of a name is that?

In February 2022, Leeds United were in midtable with 12 games to go. With all their injured players imminently due to return, and with a reasonably easy run in to the end of the season, European football was easily within their grasp. The ideal time to bring in a Champions League manager to guide them into European Glory? Cue the contenders from the Champions League managers list. Javi Munoz from Lincoln Imps FC? David Healy from Linfield FC? Stephen Bradley at Shamrock Rovers. The guy from Rangers FC? Jaissle from Salzburg?

How incredibly lucky that Jessie wanted out of RB Leipzig. And how lucky for Leipzig he did as they are 4th in the Bundesliga at Feb 2023. He was a much better fit and happy in front of the camera, with soundbytes a plenty. Plus the players all loved him at Leeds, who could forget his quote:

Nobody would care that Bielsa was unceremoniously ditched, because the rumours about him losing the dressing room were rife, and plenty of senior players were complaining about him already. The last game of the season came and went, with a thrilling end with Leeds United avoiding relegation and it made great TV on the day. Yes, Phillips and Raphinha were obviously never going to play in a Leeds shirt again, but the money they brought in meant a bumper BIG money signing session was imminent.

The dissenting Bielsa lovers would be shouted down by the fans who got the big money signings that they craved in the summer. The added bonus was that the Bielsa legacy players would be replaced by American players. Cementing further the influence of Stars and Stripes Soccer in the English game.

The start of the 2022-23 season was as good as it could have been, with results against Wolves and Chelsea ensuring that American Boi was sung from the stands. The American dream was complete. The next bonus was the success of the USMNT – cowabunga!

(no, not them!) in the Slavery world Cup.

The USMNT fared considerably better than the silenced German team and most of the other big National sides like Belgium and Uruguay.

The plan that started Feb 2022, was making headway and everything was going to plan. The global brand of Leeds United was growing and more and more high profile Americans were making their way across the pond.

The success of the USMNT ensured that promotion of Stars and Stripes Soccer was kept relevant, and with the return of the likes of Pusilic and the Leeds United midfield mastery, there was no fear that the American dream would be fading.

February 2022, was the beginning.

Now, in February 2032, it is all going swell.

The influence of our American owners and managers have meant that all that relegation rubbish that used to happen in the old EPL disappeared by 2027. We never understood the need for all that promotion and relegation business. There wasn’t the need for it in NFL, NBA, MLS and MLB. As we proved, if we didn’t have a need for it in the US, why did anywhere else need it?

And we established the ESL by 2025 easily. All the other big clubs in Europe were more than happy to just play each other all the time and not bother with home country Cup competitions. The Copa Del Rey and FA Cup in England were small fry and not necessary for our global success. Who needs the likes of Brentford, Nottingham and Sheffield.

Barca and Real were in it from Day One and these legacy fans of the “old leagues” were quickly removed from the scene by digital ticketing and dynamic pricing. Pricing out these match attending fans was easy, they were never necessary once we got the stadiums all rebuilt by the guys that did so well in Qatar. The acoustics in them meant that the sound could be artificially generated so it sounder great on TV. The TV money was the plentiful with everyone made to pay per view each game using the special ESL World Wide Channel.

The money from corporate packages alone at the start of the ESL made billions, and the smaller clubs were easily pushed out by the larger franchises. The national leagues in Europe have been whittled down to 10 teams per Red Bull League in each of the Eastern and Western conferences. Luckily all the EPL franchises in the UK are now based in London, which makes it easier to travel to and from the games in the 3 games per week corporate packages.

By 2027, the World League was formed with the Galaxy and DC United being the inaugural members of the League. And with all the major franchises agreeing to play on the the countries capital cities, London, Paris, Madrid, Munich etc. the travelling carbon offsets are easily manipulated to ensure our zero carbon footprint is maintained.

The fans just all watch in the fan parks now, where we can charge them overpriced food and drink, on top of their ticket price. We control every match attending fan ensuring that only the “right” fans get into these games.

Leeds United? Now Red Bull United. It amalgamated with Manchester United in 2025 and with all their London based followers, it seemed the best thing to do was franchise the Manchester United, Leeds United and West Ham United teams together. They play at the London United stadium now.

And to think, it all began in February 2022