.. and so, as it was written, The True Gods of Football have now been usurped by a higher power, the Gods of Green.
All Hail the All Consuming (no pun intended) Gods of Green.
Consumers
No longer are we fans, we are consumers. Consumers of a product, which used to be the beautiful game. We are (un) willing participants in all of the consumerism which has enveloped football. Our beloved game is no longer just about the 90 minutes played by 20 / 24 teams (PL / EFL). It is 24/7 365 news cycle constant, with the added bonuses of the two transfer windows to perpetuate the hysteria. Initially, we didn’t notice it. It was just in the background, lurking. Like a little goblin in the darkness. History changed, under the guise of convenience and progress.
Convenience
In the beginning, instead of queueing up outside the turnstiles, we were given the “convenience” of going to the ticket office beforehand and purchasing a paper ticket. The richer (more dedicated) folk paid up front for their entry in the form of a season ticket. A book of tear off slips was sent out before the start of the season and we presented at them at the turnstile. Instead of drunkenly searching for money in our pockets, we tore off the relevant little paper slip. Still not that easy after 6 pints!
Progression led to plastic cards to save money on wages for manned turnstiles and paper, as well as increasing the speed of entry. Although there are now more stewards at a turnstile than there used to be. Three or four people rather than that guy who was guarding the turnstile with half a ciggie hanging out of the corner of his mouth. It was still slow with plastic cards.
Now, all Hail the technology of phones. Strangely, the queues outside the turnstiles (especially at Saturday’s (Brentford) game) are now worse than what they used to be in the tear off slips heyday of our 90s glory years. Weird that isn’t it? How flashing a QR code or holding your phone up to a scanner is now just as slow as tearing off a paper slip. So much for convenience and progression!
Simplification
Progression is needed to simplify our enjoyment of our product. But in order to enjoy our product you need a phone, as this is a sustainability requirement for the PL. Plus, everyone wants to do everything on their phone, we are told. If you don’t have a phone (or at least one which is up to date) you are stuck. “No one will be left behind” we were told.
That’s not necessarily true though, is it? For the digitally excluded, you have to fight tooth and nail to make sure you can enjoy your product. Very soon, the only way we can enjoy our product will be via a phone because it’s “sustainable”. However, it is much simpler, easier and much more convenient to use a phone. Of course it is. But when you see the queues outside, is it? Honestly?
After years of this e ticketing, no one can blame it on user error anymore. The fact is, phones have not made it any simpler, quicker or easier. The queues remain the same. Digital ticketing however has made passing on of tickets much easier, evidenced by the ridiculous number of tickets available on the secondary market on line. Just Google it, if you don’t believe me. As for sustainability, plastic is recyclable. One card reprogrammed every season. Paper tickets? Ever heard of recycled paper?
Progression
In order to progress, you have to keep up to date. Cue the trauma of re logging onto the system after the end of the season. To “simplify the process” the email said. Perhaps this stemmed from the problems people had using their season ticket discount online for their shirt / merchandise (tat) purchases on the Leeds United shop website last season. Convenience and simplification anybody?
However, now of course, to simplify everything, all PL shirts are now on the Fanatics website now. In fact, I think the all merchandise is now being done by Fanatics. But this is progress. The aim of the PL is standardisation and uniformity across the board. As every fan is entitled to the same regardless of which team they support. Can’t have one team doing anything different to another can we? The cynic in me says that it is the same merchandise from the same factories with a different badge. Harsh?
Of course every supporter in the UK behaves exactly the same, regardless of county, city, or background. There’s no room for individuality in the PL. It’s all benchmarked and standardised to make sure every consumer enjoys the same experience of their PL product. Same digital tickets, same queues, different ground, different city.
Exciting new stadium
And, here we are. New season, exciting new development underway. New new new. But is it progress?
I walked past the Pavilion on Saturday and all the disabled parking and the bit where the bikers normally park up was all fenced off. In fact the whole area at the front of the Pavilion where historically the ne’er do wells met, was yellow barriered up. Strange, I thought. Where were all the less able supporters parking then? Have they put them even nearer the turnstiles? New stadium, new opportunities to do right by everyone, including the less able consumers. After all, everyone deserves to see a match at ER. Sorry, everyone deserves to enjoy their product.
Exciting new facilities
I’d already heard that in order to park at ER to enjoy our product you had to book a parking space in advance. None of this spontaneity lark. Such is progress that you need to book everything first, for your convenience naturally. The emails had been sent out well in advance to prepare you for your product, and inevitably the social media posts about problems with booking followed at pace.
Just about everyone, including our Club, knows that there are many disabled fans at ER. You used to see them getting into their cars in front of the Pavilion after the game. And so it should be, everyone is entitled to enjoy a Leeds game (product) regardless of disability etc. etc. It’s in the Equality Act 2010.
Therefore I’m guessing as part of said Equality Act, the fans who had previously had their accessible parking outside the Pavilion for many many years, would have been accommodated? Leeds knows exactly how many disabled tickets are sold every game, courtesy of sustainable digital tickets after all.
We will see next home game. As they saying goes, don’t go to bed just yet…….
New newness
As I walked past the NE corner and the new North Stand ticket office (with a very large queue outside), I noticed that there was now a massive expanse where they used to store the pitch overhead lighting. Wow! That’s new! Then I saw all the cars parked there. Nice shiny new big 4x4s. Hmm I thought. This must be where the players are parking their cars given the West Stand redevelopment. Then I took a closer look. Yes, 4x4s but more motability Jaecoo style, Burn Your Drives and company cars perks, than the petrol head / shiny EVSUVs of the rich and famous. Definitely NOT disabled parking. Cue head scratch.
Whilst dodging the queues going into the Kop I noticed the shiny new building which I believe is now the Corporate entertaining bit. Nice! But whereas last season there were wheelchairs and stewards helping people in wheelchairs coming across my path, there were none at all. None.
The new normal
The pre match buzz and excitement of the first home game of the season of yesteryear was strangely absent. Replaced with muttered complaints about parking and having to walk miles. Even the atmosphere at ER seemed underwhelming. Definitely defiantly, as soon as the game kicked off, it was loud and proud, but that dissipated unusually quickly. Atmosphere muted, especially for the first game at home.
The team battled hard against a Brentford side with an outstanding midfield, but when the attendance of 35,971 was announced, it wasn’t just me that was surprised.
As far back as I can remember, the guaranteed sell outs at ER have always been the first and last home game. Historically, tickets for these games have been like gold dust, regardless of school holidays etc. According to Leeds 1,300 tickets were sold via the season ticket exchange scheme. Think about it 1,300 season ticket holders did not make the first home game of the season. Capacity is 37,500 or so, depending on which website you look at. When the away allocation is not fully sold, the bottom section is sold to Leeds fans.
37500 – 35971 = 1529
That’s 4%. Make it make sense.
1529 empty seats for the first home game of the season. What will happen when we have 55,000 capacity? Let’s extrapolate that 4% on to e.g. a cold rainy Monday night in January when everyone is skint after Christmas. That’s potentially 2242 gaps on the Monday night telly special SkyTVisf**kings**t or TNT . Hopefully we stay in the PL for the forseeable.
If last season was anything to go by, if we aren’t in the top half by Christmas, they’ll be the “Farke ( or insert current manager’s name) out” cries. We’ve already heard the murmurings after we “failed” to secure a place in the next round of the League Cup. Chelski literally brought more money onto the pitch from their subs bench than our entire team. Yet the impatient Entitled still screamed for the manager’s head.
Away again in the Cup
Our next game was Brighton away. A place where we have not won a game since that dreadful rain soaked day at the Withdean. We have never won a game at the new ground. But notching up two wins against Forest, looking back now at their results, was a pretty darn good start to a season!
To make matters worse though, the inevitable away League Cup draw at Chelsea 3 days afterwards.
£35 plus £1.50 booking fee for League Cup trip to London after Brighton away. Robbing *****. Chelski only charged Luton £15 apparently the previous game. The result? Leeds did not take up our full allocation. The top two wings of the Shed Upper stood empty, and there were empty seats scattered in the Shed Lower. However, even Chelski could not sell out their own ground.
Is this a sign of things to come? This weekend Coventry was on the telly. Lots of empty seats. Coventry. Their first season back in the Premier League, you’d have thought every seat would be taken for every game. Admittedly, their opponents were Brighton, and many Coventry fans were probably glad they didn’t bother turning up. 31492 attendance for 5-0 drubbing. The attendance on the first home game of the season? 31239. Make it make sense.
The sign of things to come
I think there is a pattern emerging. We will see how this plays out for the rest of the season. But I do not think we will see sell outs this season, bar the tourist traps of Anfield, Arsenal, Citeh and Salford Quays. I think there will be more games with more gaps.
Let’s face it, regardless of what our Government are telling us, the cost of living crisis is getting worse. Inflation is not 2-3%. Whilst they tell us a basket of shopping is more or less the same as it was 18 months ago, we know different. A Mars bar maybe the same price, but shrink- flation means we are getting less for the same money. The basket weighs less, the wrappers are bigger. When you can’t get a Freddo for under 25p (even at Home Bargains), and Freddo is nearer tadpole than frog, you just know.
Dropping pennies
When is the penny going to finally drop? We are Leeds United. This is Yorkshire. We are not Metropolitan Elites. Once you cross north of the Watford Gap, the gap between rich and poor is much greater. For most teams in the North, not just us.
All this sustainability / benchmarking standardisation is a misnomer. I understand technology has changed and it should be embraced, but doing things for the sake of doing it, rather than it achieving actual benefits seems misguided. The move to digital tickets has not led to demonstrable, measurable, objective, let alone subjective, efficiency. Same queues week in week out.
Supporters have been told it is easier and more convenient by the companies who manufacture these products. These companies have a vested interest in everyone using their products. Everything is done to make everyone enjoy their product better. Let’s not forget though, this includes shareholders, investors and bank balances of these companies too. Not just the supporters / consumers!
From a height
Look at the proposal for Birmingham Powerhouse Stadium. 12 proposed towers to reflect the industrial heritage and a tower with the highest bar in Birmingham. All to help enjoy the PL product. Viewers of The Great British Bake Off will be familiar with the phrase “style over substance”. Let’s hope it’s not the case.
Seriously. What a match going fan wants is a decent view for a decent price. Decent priced beer and a pie which does not burn the roof of your mouth off. A cup of bovril which does not need cyclonic stirring to achieve a drinkable beverage. As opposed to a solid lump of centrifuged brown gunk lurking in Yorkshire water style insipidness. The game (still – unless Infantino get’s his way) is 90 minutes. Two halves of 45 minutes with a 15 minute break in between.
I’ve been to a baseball game in the US and watched the Superbowl on the telly. It seems to last hours. This is FOOTBALL. 90 minutes. We’re there to watch a game not eat a three course meal. It’s like the people who go to the cinema and spend the entire first half an hour trying to eat hot dogs, nachos with dips and huge buckets of fizzy drinks in the dark. They end up standing up at the end of the film, dropping enough food to feed the rats down the bottom of the Dark Arches for a week.
That cannot be enjoyment. Mind you, when I was younger, the sign of a good night out after a home game was waking up and finding half a kebab spilled down your jeans from Zam Zams!
However, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Convenience, simplification, progress to help you enjoy your product.
Peak experience
This circles me back to parking. I believe that once the West Stand is completed, there will be a significant increase to the corporate hospitality component of the matchday attendance. Those who remember the days when normal folk could use the Pavilion pre match without needing a lanyard are well aware of the displacement and replacement of normal fans.
But, we know, corporate hospitality makes the club much more money per head that us mere mortals. And given the FFP (financial fair play) / PSR (profit and sustainability rules) (whatever they call it now), who can blame the Club from trying to maximise revenue for this sector. It is a business after all.
With Corporate hospitality comes corporate parking. After all, these supporters are contributing to the coffers more. Justifying therefore, better quality facilities for their product. However, having been a recipient of the delights of corporate packages, namely free food and drink for 3 hours pre match, it begs the question. WHO wants to park when they are in Corporate? Genuinely, everything including the drink is FREE. Unless its champagne or spirits (I think?). This is what taxis and Ubers are for.
Why would you waste the opportunity of free food and drink? Why would anyone want to sit there sipping diet coke or mineral water, whilst everyone else is tucking into a bucket of beer? Make it make sense. Even if you are taking your clients out to corporately entertain them, you need to be joining in the experience.
Whilst there may be a smattering of poor designated driver sappers to such events, most people I have met have NOT driven to corporate hospitality. Why would you want to sit there in the traffic queues afterwards for hours? You just sit there after the game and wait for the traffic to go and get a taxi.
So if, and this is a big if, corporate hospitality is taking priority over less abled supporters parking facilities, the Club seriously need to have a rethink.
It’s not quite Animal Farm where everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others. Football has changed. Looking at the last World Cup, the departure from what I grew up with is more gaping chasm than mind the gap. Money is taking over, but only because our allegiance to the benchmarking, sustainability standardisation bollocks is forcing the issue.
Gods of Green
As with much 21st century life, consumerism has taken over. Football used to be ruled by TV companies like SkyTVisf**kings**t, TNT, Amazon etc. because they held control over when our games were played. However, they have been replaced by the new Gods of Green. They rule how the game is played. Their names? Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson, Hamilton, Grant and Franklin. The Green Gods of modern football.
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