It seems Leeds fans as a collective have been wishing for lots of things lately. A new stadium, somewhere to go for a drink with your mates before the game now that the Pavilion is out of bounds to us non corporate plebs, three points at home, three points away, the midfield stringing three passes together. How about a new striker, maybe a new defender – but definitely not any more new midfielders. Getting straight onto the website on ticket selling day, actually getting a ticket on ticket selling day, not seeing this on ticket selling day…

The list of things that we wish for is as infinite as the number of braids Kalvin can get in his hair.

In the main, most of these things are positive. In the main, aside from the initially fury at gifting a goal  because of a Cooper backpass gone wrong, or Dan James’s inability to get the ball out from under his feet in the 18 yard box, or after yet another 90 minutes of random refereeing decisions have flummoxed us, we are more or less grown up about these things. Once the frustration has passed after the in depth post mortem discussion in the pub, we calm down and we go again. In the main, most of us can come to the conclusion that it still isn’t Christmas yet, we’ve seen a lot worse with all our players fit, let alone with 5 of the 1st teamers out and realistically, we are still only 6 points off Europe as it stands.

I say in the main.

Fortunately, I don’t do Bunch of Titters, Instagram etc. and only go on facebook when I have to. I get people telling me second hand what’s been said on these social media platforms. Generally, it’s people who are new to the Leeds United ups and downs malarky. Some are recent returnees though, and old enough to know better frankly, but some are the newer fans who have never seen us in the Premier League. Apparently second season Bielsa tactics are wearing thin and we need to get rid of everyone apart from Raphinha. Apparently the Board need to spend at least another £100 million in the January transfer window and get a “proper” number 9 in. Apparently, Bielsa has lost it and we need Jose if we are going to stay up. Be careful what you wish for – I say.

Honestly?

I have pairs of pants and socks older, wiser and with far more football experience than some of these whingers. I have more respect for the opinions of my Champions League lucky pants and the Europa Cup, now sadly singled, orphaned, lucky socks, than our new fans right now. And as for those miserable wasters who felt fit to run down to the front at Southampton away after the final whistle and shout abuse at Meslier, well they can sod right off. It’s fair enough to vent your spleen during the game at poor clearances and misplaced passes, but to run to your players giving them the w**ker sign after they know they’ve been a bit poor, that’s just pathetic. We are Leeds United, win, lose or draw. If they haven’t played well, by all means, don’t clap them off the pitch, but screaming abuse at them because you can’t handle us losing (with our makeshift defence and Lord  Bamford still out) is pitiful. You don’t do that, whatever you are on. Get a sodding grip. The next time I  see that, I’ll film you all and then name and shame you glory hunting kn*b heads. No doubt it will all be in complete contrast to your famous debut on “awaydays lads bible” when you’re stood in your skinny jeans, bomber jacket and flat cap proudly singing “All Leeds Aren’t We”, because you’re the bestest Leeds fan in the world.

Be careful what you wish for. Very careful. Fame is a fickle thing.

Should the fans with the patience and concentration of a gnat, or cat on a hot tin roof, even, get their way and Bielsa goes, who are we going to end up with? If Bielsa goes, I can’t see Kalvin staying, and if Newcastle put a bid in of £100 million, who is going to turn that down? Not Radrizzani. But all these keyboard warriors know more about the game than Bielsa does, surely?

If we get a new stadium, how’s it going to look? There’s so much corporate interest in Leeds right now, if the capacity goes up to 60,000, how much of that is going to be normal fans and how much is going to go to the money men who want to wine and dine their clients? This was Arsenal last week, the whole of that middle tier right around the ground disappeared at half time. You’re not telling me that they all just happened to go en masse to the bog or to get a pint in, at the same time? If they did, the bogs and facilities must be miles better than the ones in the Captains Corner.

I’m not saying that the team don’t deserve a bit of criticism at times, but it has to be taken in context of the situation we are in. Bamford is still out since that knock in the Newcastle game. In fact, Patrick hasn’t been the same since he opened that cycle lane outside the ground. Elland Road hasn’t been right since he opened that cycle lane. Probably one of the most ill conceived ideas by Leeds City Council ever, to reduce pollution around Holbeck and Beeston. For approximately 20 days a year, depending on Cup runs, the traffic is gridlocked for two hours before and after the game. No one can move. Cars, buses nor coaches. This doesn’t even include when they have the fun fair on or when there’s concerts or big events at ER. So, for the minor green benefit of the other 340 odd days per year, when realistically there might be 10 people cycling along ER per day, that carbon reduction is completely negated by the fumes of congestion generated by the 20+ days of static traffic, crawling double decker R2’s trying to get to the bus park and dropping people off on the motorway, taxis doing 6 point turns to try get back into town after they’ve dropped off, people (new fans) going repeatedly up and down ER trying to find somewhere to park and the massive queues trying to get in and out of the car parks, pre and post match. And this doesn’t even include the ones who to drive to ER and then have to swap so the Mrs gets in the front seat, normally blocking that bit before you get to McDonalds,  cos yeah, that’s a great place to stop.

Leeds City Council – ruining our roads since 1976.

https://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk/news/transport/leeds-united-striker-patrick-bamford-backs-new-cycle-lane-which-runs-from-elland-road-park-and-ride-to-leeds-city-centre-3389937

Kalvin has International Duty fatigue. He played his heart out in the Euros and now is suffering from England Lag. If you look at it, most of the England players who were in the Euros have got International Lag. None of them have genuinely competed much this season. £100 million man, Kane? Ok, he has his own, very selfish, reasons. But Rashford, Maguire, Mount, Henderson, Sterling, Rice – hardly any of them have even got to 50 fantasy premier league points this season. We were all very proud of Kalv, but what is the price Leeds has had to pay for such a good showing in the National Team? Is playing for your country truly worth it? Future captain at Leeds? Future captain for Engerland? Be careful what you wish for.

We are still on a second string defence with Firpo, Ayling and Koch out. We have no replacement for Kalvin, we just haven’t. If Ben White was still here and his Emirates price tag hadn’t gone to his head, he would have been a good option, but the £ signs have gone to his head and he isn’t here. It’s all well and good saying we need a better defence, where are we going to find them? If we do get someone, it’ll take them 6 months to get fit enough and used to playing Bielsa’s way. That’ll be no good either – the season will be over. New players in the January transfer window? Careful what you wish for.

This whole “second season” thing. These comments that Bielsa has been “found out” and we are going down. In a way, yes, other teams have found us out, but not how you might think. The rest of the league have learnt a trick or two from last season. They aren’t necessarily winning because they are playing the better football (apart from Scum raising their game). They are merely disrupting our game by falling over all the time and ruining our rhythm. The referees aren’t doing anything about it, so are complicit in the mass cheating that our games have become. The Wolves players spent more time rolling about and sat down on the turf than actually passing the ball to one another. As soon as they were about to lose the ball they just fell over, clutching a finger, a thumb, an arm, or a leg or nod of their head ( …. stand up, sit down, keep moving). When they did foul us, they fell over as well, so it deflected from the real suspect of the crime. They struggled to put a clean tackle in, so they just went down. It was like the paddy field scene in the last Rambo film, but without the explosions or bow and arrow. If you haven’t seen it, get it out from Blockbuster. It’s ok but it’s an 18 – for profanity and violence it says – honest. But, Bielsa’s way is not to play for a foul though, we just get on with it. Our players will just get up, carry on and not look to penalise the opposition. I’d rather we played like that, than play like Villa.

What I’m trying to say is, we aren’t playing that bad with what we have got. When our team is fully fit and we are still as bad? Then you can start moaning.

Finally, technology. Our next away game is Spurs. At Spurs, for your “convenience” they are doing away with paper tickets and the “ticket” is a QR code on your phone. Luckily this hasn’t extended to away tickets as we speak. I think this has happened at the Etihad as well, without, I might add, consultation with any fans or fans groups. Now you know how I feel about technology. It’s helpful at times, but it’s not the be all and end all. Cash is king!

Tickets on your phone?

Really?

Why?

My fondest memories are of football and gigs. Films and theatre shows. I still have a collection of my old tickets somewhere, and when I look through these little tattered bits of paper, everything comes rushing back. The younger / tech generation just want convenience, click, click, swipe, move on. Where are your lasting memories? Where’s your tangible mementos? There’s nothing like waiting for the postman for your little white envelope (when you actually get on the Leeds website and get a ticket!). There’s also nothing like feeling the panic when it gets to Thursday and everyone else has got their ticket apart from you. Then you ring up the ticket office and they tell you that it has definitely been sent out, but if it hasn’t arrived by Friday, you’ll have to ring them and arrange for a duplicate.

Think of all the fun things you would miss out on if it just came up on your phone. It wouldn’t be an away day if you weren’t sat there, the night before, making sure your ticket was where you put it. Then double checking the same before you go to bed. Then checking it the next morning when you wake up and just before you leave. Checklist – keys, wallet, ticket, head. This is providing it’s just your ticket, of course. Imagine how quiet life would be for all the branch secretaries out there who sort out transport and tickets for their branches! We’d have nothing to do and might actually get some sleep the night before!

Plus, you’d miss out on the fun of taking multiple shots of your carefully arranged ticket, beer and the pack of cards on the table on the train, so you get the perfect picture to upload onto social media. They’d also be no stash of beer soaked, crumpled tickets in your adidas trainer box to take a photo of at the end of the season. It takes time to arrange all your tickets out in order. It would be no fun if you just had print outs of black and white QR codes.

There is something unique and special about having a paper ticket. Plus, paper is recyclable, so it’s green enough. No need to charge up and take two power banks (with the leads) with you in case one runs out and you can’t get the code up on your phone at the turnstile. That’s provided you get enough reception, and if your phone hasn’t died after using the flash on the last 20 photos hasn’t drained it. You’ve already wasted enough charge getting your acca on and checking out the latest instas after the reception kept going down in the train tunnels. Too much stereotyping? Ok – I’ll stop.

Football isn’t just a spectator sport. Football is a ritual. It’s a routine. It’s a release from real life (spoiler alert – see next blog). It’s not about convenience. It’s not about the result. It’s about the experience and everything you have done to get there and back again. Fans aren’t just spectators, we are willing participants. If you want proof, just think about the build up to the last minute equaliser against Wolves. We are all individual, valuable assets and I don’t want us ending up as just another barcode, to be just scanned in like another number in the Big Machine.  Unless of course, you are a trained assassin who kicks ass – like this guy.

As the old saying goes “there’s two sides to every story”, I’d probably say, there’s at least two sides, if not more. What you choose to accept and believe, is up to you. The trouble is, nowadays, the “truth” is often what the people with the power of influence, want you to think, rather than what the facts are. It’s not to say that everything in life is purely objective in the true black or white definition. It’s impossible to not have shades of grey in fact. And a lot of stuff is down to opinion at times depending on the given scenario. When it becomes more subjective, rather than objective, there’s always going to be disagreement.

So I read with interest some of the discussion around what Pep Guardiola said about the Man City fans after the Leipzig game. It’s the early rounds of the Chumpions League, the ground was a bit empty and quiet and he was disappointed. Was he wrong to say what he said? I think he has now apologised for saying it, but why should he? All he was saying was what he thought. He’s been castigated for saying it by many, some of the Man City fans have hit back. But there’s two sides to every story.

This was the take of the Manchester Evening News:

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/man-city-guardiola-empty-seats-21622921

Why am I particularly interested? Well, it might be us in a few years, mighten it? Well, we can only hope that in a few years, we are playing in the Champions League so regularly that we are getting bored with it.

Was Pep wrong? Where do we start?

All he did was say what he thought. What is wrong with that? Firstly, the facts. It was the 1st round of the Chumpions League. They were playing RB Liepzig. Citeh won 6-3. The capacity of The Etihad is 54,000 give or take, the attendance was 38,000 give or take. The price of a ticket at Citeh is getting more expensive. The regular fans are going to games twice a week as a matter of course-in every cup generally to the bitter end. Citeh have forced a digital ticketing system onto their fans without any discussion, which unfortunately doesn’t work properly, leading to multiple problems with getting the right tickets for the right games.  The reaction. Pep looked round, there were huge gaps in the crowd, it had been a bit quiet at times during the game, he got a bit cross. How was he to know what problems fans were having with their tickets? How was he supposed to know the effect of being so good that you are in basically every competition going year on year, is going to affect fans pockets so severely?.

Of course , as usual SkyTVisf**kings**t did it’s best to shit stir the pot and sought to further drive a wedge between the manager and the fans. Divide and conquer. It’s an old trick, works like a charm if you want to increase your viewing figures by getting “latest” reaction from the usual hasbeen pundits. Let’s ask our expert panel. None of whom have never been in Pep’s enviable position of multiple trophies and league titles though.

Divide and conquer is also fantastic if you want to cause trouble and capitalise on the weakened parties after the dust has settled. Bates tried it with us, but we were made of stronger stuff. We stuck it out, but there were casualties of war and some of the bridges can never be unburnt, and some of the cuts will never heal. A grudge is for life after all. I digress…

Both sides, the manager and the fans have the right to have a little gripe though. two sides to every story.

The real difficulty is managing the expectation, of both fans and the players and managers (also including Chairmen and owners, I guess).

Take our position after the game on Saturday. It wasn’t a bad display, but we lost. Arguably Antonio shouldn’t even have been on the pitch after the antics of his flailing arms. Their equaliser was a unlucky ricochet. Our defence has once again been torn to shreds, by injury to Llorente and Koch and by the fourth official and Gurning in Struijk’s case. Even with these extenuating circumstances, our so called fans have still felt fit to condemn the team, the manager, the board and the owners with their usual vitriol. It’s fine to have a rant, we all do, but to continue to whinge and over exaggerate our position in the table even though it’s not even October, that’s just excessive.

How do these people think it makes the players feel when they see this terrible language?

How do these people think it makes the manager feel when he hears this? I won’t even mention what Kinnear, Radrizzani and the 49ers might be feeling.

Bielsa isn’t going to react, because he won’t. He’s a consummate professional who takes his job very seriously. We know from the picture from QPR in February 2019 just how seriously Bielsa takes his job. But if he wasn’t such a dedicated manager, if he didn’t respect his work and his job as much, he’d be completely entitled to go off on one and have a pop at the “fans” who are criticising him so vehemently. But he won’t, cos he’s not like that.

It’s not even October.

Like most, I have stayed away from social media since Saturday so I can avoid all the naysayers and doom mongers. I said at the start of the season, it was going to be a marathon not a sprint. We need to hold our nerve. We’ve seen much much worse. They’ll be some clever dick reading this now who going to start saying “oh God, they are going to dig up going to watch Hereford and Histon when we were shit again” .

Actually, I am.

I was once deigned a “glory hunter” and I retorted by saying if I was a glory hunter, I would have never staved the course when we were terrible. Like a few select loyal fans, we have been there through the good times and the bad. The ones who have almost self imploded with vitriol, brimstone and fire this weekend just need to have a good look at themselves and listen to what they are spouting. If they can’t take that we are three wins away from Europe, having played 4 of the top 7 in the league, still technically in the League Cup and it’s still not yet October, they really need to give their heads a wobble. If we are still in the same position by Halloween then I suppose they can get worried.

Are these same people going to be clamouring for tickets if we get past Arsenal and end up in the quarter finals? I’ll tell you what, if we do, anyone who has been slating the team or Bielsa off these last 48 hours doesn’t deserve to get a ticket. Ooh they won’t like that, will they? 

Please, for the good of the rest of us, if you expect instant success and won’t accept anything less, just hand your season ticket back, or get yourself off that season ticket waiting list. Definitely don’t try for any away tickets either. Just leave the rest of us to it. We’ll see you back when we start doing well again, I have no doubt.

Here’s Chorlton to cheer you all up

thanks to googleimages for the picture of the happiest dragon on the planet

Modern day football.

Like all things (supposedly), football is better now than it used to be in the old days, because simply put we have progressed. With the benefit of more knowledge, better education, faster technology, sporting breakthroughs in science, modern day football is so much better nowadays.

But sadly, modern day football, like modern day life, in it’s desperation to demonstrate continued progression, the pursuit of true progress has fallen by the wayside to progressiveness. Producing something which is so sterile, it is devoid of the passionate football we fell in love with all those years ago. It has become something which we barely recognise, the bare skeleton of 22 men on a pitch, dripping only in rags of ridiculous rules, VAR, TV companies (along with their biased narratives) and money, money, money. 

What am I on about now, Dear Readers?

I have finally brought myself round to watching the Livarpool game.

Ah.

Now you know what I am going on about. And I have to say, I use the word “watching” in it’s loosest meaning. Those of you who subscribe to SkyTVisf**ings**t understand what I am on about. The bit that I was really interested in “watching”, I couldn’t actually “watch”. As Gary “If Rashford can get an OBE for a non football related thing, why can’t I get one” Neville kept reminding us, “they” couldn’t show us the challenge.

Why not, Gary?

By the way, Gary, I understand you want to be the one who champions “real” football fans who want “fairer” football for fans. I understand you want football to have more stringent rules of ownership etc. and you want “proper fans” to have more power and a say of how they want their football clubs to work. I know, because you say this ad infinitum given the opportunity. But I don’t think you understand the hypocrisy of where you are coming from. If you take your situation in it’s most basic form, you are a TV pundit. Your wages are paid for by the very TV company who has singlehandedly helped ruin football for matchgoing fans since 1992. The team you part own, Salford FC is sponsored by a division of the parent company of  SkyTVisf**kings**t. By this virtue alone, YOU are part of the problem, NOT the solution. I love it how you preach (on SkyTVisf**kings**t) about how fans are cheated by bureaucracy and how “the System” needs to reflect what fans want and that fans “need a voice” and true representation. All this whilst you and your pundit pals are responsible for churning your rhetoric narrative, nauseatingly at times, in order to get what your bosses, the True Gods of Football, want. Which is football on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, so they can get their audiences and all their viewing figures up there to create all the advertising income they need to fund their greed. The greed which in turn, feeds the greedy agents and players who just want to line their pockets more. The TV companies need constant exposure and their pursuit of their global brand is the only thing that drives their ambition. Their addiction is publicity, and they will stop at nothing to keep themselves at the top of that tree. Why do you think they spend so much time on the non stories which are the transfer windows when the football isn’t particularly interesting? Why do you think they blow every little bit of “news” out of proportion? To keep the audience figures up, Gary. It’s airtime and the longer they can keep folk addicted to their channels, the better. 

Gary, give yourself a break lad. You aren’t going to get an OBE like Rashford. Even though he could feed all the poor and needy children in the UK with what he earns in a week. Even though, what he gets in sponsorship alone in a day is more than what most people earn in a year, no one will see that. Why? Because they choose to ignore it. It’s like film and TV stars at the Oscars, or the Emmys making “statements” about lack of inclusivity and poverty, all whilst parading obscenely expensive outfits and jewellery, barely a stone’s throw from some of the most impoverished people in the cardboard box ghettos of Hollywood and New York. The stench of hypocrisy hidden from the glittery lights by the perfume of the middle class Elite.

I digress – back to the blog.

Free the Pascal One.

Why couldn’t you show that tackle, Gary?

Was it really that bad? After all, from where I was in my stand, it didn’t actually look that bad. In real time, Struijk went in for the challenge, they both got up from it, or at least Elliot tried to get up but sat back down again. The ref turned,  looked at them and played on. Both of the teams played on for a few seconds. Salah went up to Elliot, told him to stay down and Gurning Klopp ran onto the pitch. Then a load of people ran onto the pitch. It was then, and only then, must have been 10 seconds later, that the ref ran back and blew. I couldn’t see what was going on properly, the stretcher with the head stabilising board came onto the pitch, but Elliot was clearly conscious. It didn’t look like a head injury. Yes, there was a load of confusion, but the lad was clearly alert and it wasn’t a concussion. It wasn’t an incident like the sad Christian Eriksen episode, which incidentally the cameras were focused on 100%. Did Gary and SkyTVisf**kings**t think it was as serious as this? Honestly?

I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure if someone is still conscious and moving, they are safe. In real time, if the challenge was that dangerous the ref should have stopped the game there and then and brandished his red card, rather than waiting for Klopp, Stockley Park, the 4th official and the rest of Klopps relatives to tell him to do so. It wouldn’t have surprised me if GCHQ, Menwith Hill and the Big Ball at Fylingdales hadn’t put their two pennorth in as well. And all the time, there was Gary on SkyTVisf**kings**t saying “We can’t show it”.

Why Gary? We have all seen Roy Keane’s tackle on Alfie. We all saw Cantona’s two footed leap at that Palace fan. We even saw that Son tackle on Everton’s Gomes.   

The TV audience has been completely desensitised to any violence / peril / gore over the last 30 years. What is the actual difference of watching that tackle going to make?

30 years ago, you wouldn’t have heard the F word said in the cinema without having a XXX certificate shoved in your face. You used to have “parental advisory” stickers on your “risque” album covers. Now Samuel L Jackson has that as his personal Snakes On A M****F***** Plane motto and even cartoon characters use smutty language.

We were brought up on the likes of Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry, and Rocky and Rambo. Later on it was Tarantino and Kill Bill et al. The 30+ year olds were brought up on a diet of GTA and TuPac & Biggie gangland shootings. The 20+ year olds have been brought up with SAW, Gears of War and Halo. The 15 year olds are brought up Fortnite and The Walking Dead. The average 18 rated film of the 80s in the cinema, has now been totally eclipsed by the 15 rating films in today’s film theatres. We don’t need to be protected and cossetted by SkyTVisf**kings**t and FA old codgers censors board. As if you lot know what is right and proper, your moral compass is so far apart you wouldn’t know inpropriety if it smacked you in the face with a wet fish.

With the advent of Youtube and social media, all you need to do is whisper something about action films and those cheeky algorithms will select similar content for you to see next time you switch your device on. Tailored content which increasingly gets more intense the more you look. Before you know it, you could go from Colin The Caterpillar to watching The Human Centipede. Incidentally, this is an extremely unpleasant film – please do not go to Blockbuster and hire it.

What I am trying to say is that, in the 70s and 80s the scariest films you saw were Carrie, The Omen and Salems Lot. Nowadays, even the 12a films show violence and bad language de riguer. Limbs being hacked off and 15 minute fight scenes are common place. The Disney Channel is the only place to watch The Walking Dead. Disney – that’s right – the company that brought you Steamboat Willy and Minnie Mouse, showing you gruesome, gory zombie fight scenes.

Some of the Drill and Grime music on the radio glorifies gangs and violence and the music videos that kids and young people aspire to show scantily clad persons in suggestive poses and are little with lurid language. It’s a far cry from the New Seekers “I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing” and “All Kinds Of Everything” by Dana. We sat through the Sex Pistols and Punk for Pete’s sake. No one needs a modern day Tipper Gore to protect us. And for those of you who don’t know what I mean, here is the link. The might of Christian values and wholesome good Old American values – God Bless Dee Snider

https://www.udiscovermusic.com/stories/filthy-fifteen-pmrc-censorship/

The viewing customers of today have been so anaesthetised by modern day life, nothing is going to phase them, Gary. Modern day sport includes a dedicated boxing channel, two competitors punching the living daylights out of each other. Boxing is an Olympic sport. MMA which is much more violent, isn’t an Olympic sport, but it’s still readily available to stream. Two guys punching and kicking the s**t out of each other in a cage. 

So, Gary, when you say “We can’t show you this” and “No one wants to see this sort of thing” actually no. Not really. No one is particularly bothered about a football challenge. Christian Eriksen having a medical emergency, that’s what we don’t want to see. A competitive challenge in a contact sport? That’s part and parcel of the professional game.

I’ll tell you what we don’t like to see in the professional game. Cheating and diving or to give it it’s modern day football correct terminology, clever game management. We don’t like to see things shown out of context, manipulated by the TV camera angles to make things look different to what they actually are. We don’t like deliberate selective misinterpretation, for effect, in order to sensationalise something. We don’t like to hear insinuation, supposition, hearsay or speculation, which may exaggerate or over emphasise something that isn’t really true. We really just want to watch the football as it happens on the pitch and listen to the commentary of the game as it happens.

As for Elliot, I hope he gets well soon. No hard feelings. Even he admits the challenge was fair and the way he landed, or perhaps how he stood up after the challenge caused the accident which damaged his ankle. At least he admitted it. He will hopefully heal and get back quickly as he’s young. Struijk? How long is it going to take him to heal? He’s been accused of deliberately going in with an illegal dangerous challenge. He didn’t, it was a fair tackle. He knows that, Elliot knows that. The FA may know that, but they are not going to admit it. After all, with all the furore that it has generated, with all the mass hysteria from Klopp and his team, with all the confusion from the ref not looking at VAR (why do they have VAR again?). Together with all the exaggeration from the TV pundits, they are going to look a little bit stupid if they withdraw the red card. 

All this just plays right into the old adage of Them v Us. As if Leeds fans didn’t already have a massive persecution complex. As if we didn’t need anymore excuses to feel let down by the FA and footballing authorities Elite. 

They All Hate Leeds Scum

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

I thought it was originally said by some Ancient Greek guy in white robes (like in Bill and Ted), or some thoughtful learned bloke, maybe a master philospher or author like Rudyard Kipling. But no, the first recorded use of “two wrongs don’t make a right” was by a doctor in US of A called Benjamin Rush in 1758. We don’t know much about him, but he was one of the Founding Fathers (and I don’t mean those who did “The Purge” films either). When you read up on him, he came out with some good stuff though.

Two wrongs don’t make a right. This can be used in many contexts – not just the retaliatory Munich song on Saturday.

Two wrongs don’t make a right is generally used by film critics (of the genre I watch anyway) to rubbish the premise of most of the better storylines of such great epics like Death Wish, Rambo and Saw. Those where the perpetrator at the start of the film has done something bad, so the person who has been harmed / upset goes all out, and well and truly dishes it back, twice if not thrice fold. Or even, for example with the Death Wish films, 5 or six fold. As for Saw – well, I don’t want to ruin it for anyone – but he technically isn’t even in the later ones, as he’s already dead.

These movie masterpieces revolve round the basic revenge principle that should someone do something to hurt you, they completely and utterly deserve to get it back. Remember everything, forgive nothing. A grudge is for life – not just for Christmas. A marvellous mantra.

For those who don’t know what I am on about. Not content with beating us on the pitch on Saturday, some scrot from the wrong side of The Pennines ( or could have been London for all we know), decided it would be a good idea to unfurl a Turkey flag. That, along with a load of coins being chucked down from the upper tier, could only result in one thing. Apparently Gary ” I deserted my wife and young kids for a lingerie model” Lineker called it despicable. Well, you should know all about disgraceful behaviour, Gary. 

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but there was never any way that retaliation for disrespecting two fans who got killed before a football match, was going to be anything but the Munich song. And, as the song and indeed the arms in the airplane position gesture, was heard and seen by the rest of the ground, who may or may not have been aware of what was going on, Leeds fans were once again castigated by –  well everybody really.

In this progressive era where you can report more or less anything for being offensive, the waving of a Turkey flag, the gesture of someone slitting someone’s throat and indeed, the very offensive gesture of a hangman’s rope from the away end on the anniversary of Gary Speed’s sad passing, cannot be deemed as a crime. 

You could have wolf whistled at a woman in the crowd, and she could have reported you, or you could have said something to about race or gender and that could have been a crime, but the police and the stewards didn’t / wouldn’t bat an eyelid at this very hurtful gesture.

Why?

Who knows. Maybe it’s because it’s aimed at Leeds fans, so it doesn’t count? But then again, would we really want someone arrested for a for waving a flag? Getting chucked out of the ground maybe? Answers on a postcard, I guess.

As for the Rashford and Sancho song. For those of you who have forgotten what happened in that penalty shootout, here it is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwvV06FvXbg

My own opinion of it, for what it’s worth? I blame the manager for picking them in the first place and the other senior players for not taking more of a stand and stepping up to the plate and volunteering. Southgate put them in like lambs to the slaughter. It was the final, Gareth. They may well have been scoring 10/10 penalties in the practice sessions, but let’s face it, the pressure of the Euros final after extra time, can hardly be appropriately mimicked in a training session. The game should have been won in the 90 minutes, if Gareth hadn’t have been so negative and put 10 men behind the ball for the best part of 85 minutes. It should have been put to bed in 120 minutes, if he’d have put the subs on sooner, with fresh legs to run at the ageing Italian defence who were already on two yellows. But to put two completely inexperienced players in for penalties, with the likes of Grealish and Sterling standing around twiddling their thumbs, was ridiculous. That’s like saying, “you’ve done the Five Peaks – off you go to Everest then in your Northface fleece, you’ll be fine” or “you’ve done your 50 yds certificate and you’ve jumped in wearing pyjamas and picked a flip flop off the bottom of the pool in swimming, next stop The English Channel”. (Do kids even do that anymore in swimming?).

If anyone let their country down it was Gareth Southgate. And Rashford – it was a crap penalty. Maguire and Kane, they didn’t let their country down as they scored their penalties. Whoever missed their turn would be receiving insults this season, regardless of which team they played for. You can put money on that Saka lad being slated for it.

In simple words, this trading of insults is rivalry. The slitting throat and hanging gestures is another different discussion. There’s rivalry and then there’s taking things too far.

Rivalry.

Football is many things to many people, and since globalisation, it is many, many more things to many, many more people. Without rivalry though, football is stark, synthetic and artificial. Plastic for want of a better term. People who watch football unaware of these rivalries fail to share in and experience one of the most inherent, tribal, raw elements of sporting fandom. A sad loss to them.

The Gods of Football don’t understand this though. The acceptance of any form of Rivalry is a non starter in the new touchy feely Elite Metropolitan world. They want us to be all happy and integrated with our half and half scarves. Realistically the only people who you are allowed to not like, are the ones that fit the Narrative of the Moment, and the Elite will tell you who they are. Harsh? Not really. Football rivalry is something that is deep seated, and cannot be influenced by an outsider, because they don’t understand it. And because they don’t understand it, they are scared by it and will try anything to stem it, like trying to portray us all as hooligans. There are some hooligans amongst us, as there are with many football teams, but we are not all like that.

Football to many of us is a release. For many of us who work hard through the week in responsible jobs being dependable and professional, football is a day where all of that goes out of the window. It is a day when you are allowed to be one thing and one thing only. A Leeds United fan. Doesn’t matter how old you are, how many kids you have, how many people you are in charge of, what job you do, what colour you are, what sex you are – it all means absolutely jack. You are a Leeds United fan and that’s it. You can shout and scream, moan about the players, the team, the strategy, shit penalties, whatever. But you support your team like everyone else around you. Leeds United crosses all boundaries, we are colour blind and we are one.

We hate Bayern because they cheated us out of our title. The same goes with AC Milan and most it not all referees. We mourn the tragic events at Taksim Square. We are the last true 1st Division Champions. We are the Champions of Europe. 

We don’t like anyone from the wrong side of the Pennines.

Ok, that’s just really a Yorkshire thing. The deep seated hate and mistrust of anyone from the Wrong Side of The Pennines goes back centuries to the Wars of The Roses. I don’t even know if they teach that at school nowadays, they did when I was little. 1455 to 1485 when Richard III was killed at the battle of Bosworth Field. Yorkshiremen are proud to be from Yorkshire. And there are only three Ridings of Yorkshire. North, East and West. In the 70s, they invented Humberside, so you lot don’t even count anymore as Yorkshiremen. In Yorkshire, we talk proper and we are proud of it. There was that study by some uni down South that said by 2060, regional accents will disappear and we will all end up talking like Jude Law or the cast of Harry Potter, in some weird, non dialectist conformism. Similar to how the Americans speak where the end of the sentence finishes in a rising “inflection” , it’s called. So it sounds like they are continually asking a question or doubting what they are saying, even if they aren’t. It’s the equivalent of adding “Suits you , Sir?” to every phrase but not in the double entredre way.

Not likely thanks. Not here in Yorkshire. You can keep that South of Sheffield, cheers. Can’t be doing with them Southeners. Aside of them though, we hate the Sc*m. Fact.

I know there are many Leeds fans who aren’t lucky enough to be born in Leeds, or even in God’s own Yorkshire. You’ve come over to the White side because of the great Revie team, because of family ties, because of our great legends like John Charles, Billy Bremner, and nowadays our more recent legends like Radebe and Yeboah or just because of the football that we play. Leeds United has a massive, ever growing in fact, global fan base, and that’s great. But you don’t forget where you came from.

In the doldrums of Division 3, when football was crap and it really was 90 minutes of agony that ruined your whole day, the fans were there, albeit in smaller numbers, supporting Leeds United. Bielsa has come out again today saying how proud he is of us and our amazing support. The team are looking forward to playing in front of a full house on Saturday, for the first time for many of our players. 

Fans at the ground matter. And I know there are Leeds fans who will never get to a match at ER ever, it’s us that they rely on to make the noise and cheer the side on. I’ve said it so many times, we are the 12th man. It’s up to us. Whether we are singing to cheer us when we are winning or aiming our verbal abuse at the opposition. We are Leeds and proud. Our rivalries with the teams in the Premier League have been halted for long enough. The old songs are back, hopefully for good, and for the younger ones who never saw us play in the PL, it’s up to us older lot to make sure that rivalries are renewed, and that when two wrongs don’t make a right, we try a third.

On On On

In the most unsurprising turn of events since the sun rose and night turned into day, we find out that tickets to Leeds games are being sold on 3rd party websites at over-inflated prices, and basically robbing Leeds fans, desperate to watch Leeds United play, of their hard earned pennies. You don’t say?

I was going to title this piece as “No S**t, Sherlock” but I thought it was a little rude for you, Dear Readers.

Like the famous Cilla Black programme of the 90s – “Surprise Surprise – the unexpected hits you between the eyes”, for those of you who are too young to remember, here’s the song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7-7S4eCuTM&ab_channel=JoeDavageChannel

What do we know?

We know that Leeds were forced to put a statement out on the website, saying that they were aware of “fraudsters”

We know that you can go onto 3rd party websites and buy a ticket for Leeds v Everton

We know that you can go onto the Leeds website and not get a ticket for Leeds v Everton

What else do we know?

We know that the tickets for the Everton game sold out incredibly quickly. We know that the few seats that were left were basically in the Family Stand. That’s the (magnificent new) East Stand lower to the ones who have only just started to support Leeds United. And, I’m not knocking you, we all had to start somewhere – right?

We know that people were trying to order those tickets, which were few and far between by the way, and some didn’t realise that in order to get these tickets, you needed to have some sort of child to order for at the same time.

The problem is that, even though they are trying to encourage families, the chances of actually ordering 3 tickets together in the Family Stand, are, you guessed it,  few and far between. Unless you get on the website straight away that is. Even then, it is still a bit tricky navigating it, if you’ve not done it before.

And if you do have a family season ticket, what happens when your child grows up and doesn’t fit the criteria anymore for a Family Stand seat? Would you then have to go on the waiting list for a adult season ticket? Answers on a postcard please?

I can’t see an 18 year old particularly wanting to sit in the Family Stand anyway. Unless they have particularly short legs of course. Apparently the beer is better in the (magnificent new) East Stand, as are the bogs, so there is a bonus for having your seat there. But you’d need to have pretty short legs to be comfortable in there, and a bit of a Slim Jim as well, I’m guessing. Also, you’d need the patience of a saint depending on who you end up sat next to. If kids in a cinema are anything to go by, you’d need a fair bit of patience when the 8 year old behind you starts kicking your seat because he can, then there’s the obligatory shuffle for the frequent trips to the bog.

As for the rest of us, well, we all knew it would be difficult to get a seat after we got promoted. But with all these people out there who can’t be arsed to get a proper job, and would rather spend their time buying up memberships from clubs in the Premier League in order for them to get tickets and make their money by skanking people, what more do you expect?

Unless of course, it is like the Will Smith film I Robot, and when we turn up at the game on Saturday, the ground will be the Theatre of Robot Dreams

thanks to film quarterly for the pic and here’s the very good article too, one of Mr Smith’s better films – a bit more believable than After Earth (which was terrible) but not as good as Seven Pounds

https://filmquarterly.org/2012/07/02/i-robot-what-do-robots-dream-of/

The last four days have been a complete joke.

It’s been like the film, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, just not funny at all. After pointlessly ticking boxes of planes (be that airplanes or aeroplanes) and trucks, to prove that I am not a robot, only to get finally onto the website and finding out the tickets have been sold out, I am almost ready just to pack it in.

I understand that tickets for the Euros mostly went to robots, who then sold the tickets on at an inflated price to ordinary folk, daft enough to pay the mark up (I am guessing), so this is why there is that extra level of security.

Might as well have gone to robots this last week. Seeing as soon as we start losing at The Theatre Of Wet Dreams, it will all go quiet in our end, like it did at Preston or Blackburn (or both?) not so long since. When all the “new” fans realise that it won’t be a goal fest and it may end up a dull 0 – 0. When they realise there isn’t be a corner or a free kick or a shot on goal every 5 minutes to keep their very short attention span focused, and that actually, they don’t know all the words to the songs, so they just look a bit stupid when they get it wrong and it all goes quiet, or no one else joins in with them. Soon enough, they’ll clear off down to the bogs and start smoking or whatever it is that they do in there. But considering they’ll all have missed the first 10 minutes anyway, because they’ll have been congratulating themselves on getting a ticket and taking selfies of each other with the tagline “here I am at Old Trafford” and posting it on instagram, they’ll not have even seen who is on the pitch – that’s if they know who is on the pitch.

You think I am bitter about it?

Too right, I am.

They’ll all be there, in their nice new shirts and scarves and every other bit of tat made in the People’s Republic, that proves that they are a Leeds fan. Trying to get the right angle for the perfect selfie whilst doing their 14 fold acca, umming and ahhing if Forest away be a home win or not and whether Livarpool will score a goal in the 96th minute to secure a draw. They’ll not be bothered about the game, just the result, and whether they will be able to join in that massive crush on the aisle if and when, we score, so they can post it on twitter. Cameras at the ready and two chargers, just in case the phone dies before they get that crucial shot of them, which proves they are “at the game”. They’ll have used up most of the charge of one of them because they’ve been lining up their match ticket with the 12 bottles of bud on the train table to get the best shot to show their mates.

Three months later, in the freezing wet snow, on a Monday night away at Brighton, after we’ve lost 5 in a row, the same ones will be tucked up in bed, watching it on SkyTVisf**kings**t, even though they have been offered tickets since they went on sale, from people who have just ordered it anyway, because they could, and all the away season ticket holders who can’t be arsed. It’ll be “oh I’m busy tonight – can’t make it, mate. I’ll see you at Chelsea next away day”. Meanwhile depriving those of us, who haven’t been able to go because the tickets were “sold out”, of yet another away game. That’s if they haven’t given up already, and stormed off twitter in a hissy fit, after they have slammed Bamford for being a donkey – yet again – and someone has had the audacity to ask them where they were when we were shit.

Is this more or less the same post I do this time of year, every year for the last 2 or 3 ( when fans were allowed into games) seasons? Probably. Will I do the same again next season? Probably. Did I ever whinge about it before 2017? Nope. Did anyone ever whinge about away tickets in 2014? Nope. Did anyone whinge about tickets in the first season we got booted out of the PL in 2004? Nope. Did anyone whinge about tickets when we dropped down into Division 3? Nope.

Were any of us surprised that the attendances dropped in 2004/5? Nope. Were any of us sorry to see the back of the ones who didn’t renew their season tickets in 2005/6? Nope. Were we surprised when even more jacked in their season tickets in 2007/8? Nope. Were we sorry to see the back of those? Nope. Would we be desperately upset if we never saw the miserable wasters ever again? Nope.

Did you all laugh when Massimo Cellino announced that if we didn’t get to the play offs he would refund 25% of the cost of your next season ticket in July 2016? Yep. Did people laugh when they found out there were less than 15,000 season ticket holders at ER in 2016? Yep. Were any of us who were still going surprised? Nope. Were any of us who were still going upset? Nope. Were any of us who were still going want any of the deserters back? Nope.

https://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/sport/football/how-many-season-tickets-will-leeds-united-sell-sunday-and-how-much-will-fans-get-back-if-they-dont-make-play-offs-1794153

So for those of you reading my blog, who have forgotten, or conveniently misremembered, that no one ever bothered going to watch Leeds United at home – let alone away – because they were “too busy” going shopping, playing football, washing the car, washing their hair, playing squash, going to the gym … or simply watching on the telly because you’re a c _ _ _ . Read the above article, just to remind yourself how crap we actually were.

Read the article which painfully spells out what a laughing stock we were. Go back through the annals and look at the “players” we used to have. Please note I use the term “player” very loosely to describe someone who at times just wandered round the pitch at ER for 90 minutes and considered themselves to be an actual “football player”. Read the article and refresh yourselves of the fact that Massimo was actually going to refund 50% of the cost of our season tickets back if more than 15,000 people renewed their season tickets and we didn’t make the play offs. Reacquaint yourselves with the knowledge that people were actually bribed to buy a season ticket, the price of which had already been frozen for 3 years, by the promise of a 50% discount off their next season ticket. Remind yourself how unpopular being a Leeds fan used to be – 5 short years ago.

According to records our average attendance at ER in 2010/11 was 27,296 – this includes away fans by the way. By 2014/15 season it was 22,278 and by 2015/16 it was 22,611.

There’s now a waiting list of 22,000 people who each pay a tenner to be in with a chance of getting a season ticket should someone to kick the proverbial bucket.

So, yes, I am bitter.

Bitter that those who made the effort when we were shit have now been usurped by someone who probably only got a season ticket in 2018 when we started to get a bit better. Bitter that those who unswervingly stood through the dross that was Division 3 football, now cannot even get a sniff at the burger van outside Old Trafford. Bitter that those who couldn’t afford an away season ticket, but then again, never thought they would ever need one anyway, may now never see an away game again, because they have been priced out by people who jumped on the opportunity when one came up. Bitter that I may never stand with the people who I have stood with year on year, decade on decade for God knows how long, at a game again. Bitter that the away days that I have enjoyed for so long, will be something of the past now.

I understand now we are good, people want to be Leeds fans again. But everyone started to build their loyalty at one  time. What’s wrong with biding your time and waiting your turn? We all had to do it at some point. Oh wait, I forgot, you’re Entitled aren’t you?

As for the ones who started off this whole anti loyalty thing – karma. What goes around, comes around. I hope when it does arrive, when it’s your turn, you get it ten fold in return.

In the meantime until Thursday, here’s some more planes and trucks to tick …