God I wish I had written this before I tried to order Stoke tickets! I had it all planned in my head, and, after humiliating SkyTVisf**kings**t’s Salford FC – incidentally one of the best songs ever – SkyTV are three nil down – and four points from the first 2 games, it was all going swimmingly well. We had a right laugh at the entertainment in Prestwich, not just the result but when one of the Salford fans ran on the pitch at Kiko’s end, got the ball and then tried to shoot but missed horribly, it just topped it all off. That is as much as you can top off a Beradi goal.

But, once again, my nemesis Stoke reared it’s ugly head, and like a broken record, I was dragged down to the depths of oblivion that is otherwise known as ticket ordering day.

So the chipper, cheeky observations of the closed season and our brilliant start against Bristol have now been dampened with the double dose wet blankets of “sorry the number of requested tickets exceeds the quantity available” and “please select a quantity”. Those of you who are reading this and don’t know what I am on about – count yourselves lucky!

If anyone wants to be refreshed on my opinions of away ticket selling procedures and people who will be here on in be referred to as “the people who returned their Ipswich tickets as soon as we didn’t look like we were going to get promoted”, please look back to whatever blog I did last season and the facebook posts from there. I can’t bear repeating myself as I do sound like a broken record.

So, summer summary then. We kept hold of Bielsa – THE END. Smiley emoticon.

 

Ok, we got rid of Pontus for a (miserly) amount of pennies, but hey – no one else came in for him and by all accounts Bielsa was never going to pick him again. There were shouts of derision all over unsocial media about the paltry fee, but if he was that good – why didn’t any other teams want him? Surely the Norwich/Burnley/Southampton/Brighton/Bournemouth mid table mediocrity / clinging-on-to-stay-in-the-Premiership clubs would be able to afford him, especially with the oodles that they get from just being in the Premiership.  But no, not even one tiny snifter from a Premier League club. The silence speaks volumes.

Roofe – Adios amigo! Shame about how often you got injured, you tried your best being played out of position for so long and when you did get your scoring boots you were on fire. I bet you were massively disappointed that the only song you really got was Rooooofe. It took a while for you to realise we were singing your name rather awkwardly, rather than throwing a load of abuse at you. Even better it put the backs up of every perpetually offended apologist, who thought they could jump on the “Leeds United are a bunch of racists” bandwagon because they couldn’t! On a positive note, you aren’t going to miss all those Leeds fans who constantly slagged you off (you know who you are!!!). I hope the Anderlecht fans reward you with a better song but realistically a few more clinical finishes may have got us promoted and you may have signed another contract for us, had we gone up. But then we wouldn’t have got Eddie Nketiah who was class last night. 7 million is not so bad a deal. At least the Anderlecht fans will never be able to slate you as much as Leeds fans did, as Flemish is hardly recognisable as a proper language. (Oh no, the apologists are going to have a pop at me now for being Flemish intolerant.)

Clarke – as about unexpected as a conclusion in an episode of Roald Dahl’s Tales of The Unexpected 1970’s television series, – he got sold. After those fantastic runs in from the wing last season, being paraded on SkyTVisf**kings**t and the EFL show on Quest (how do I go about getting money for promoting them) and probably helped on by a load of chelping from his agent, he went to a bigger club for bigger bucks. As the phrase goes – no s**t Sherlock. Great that Spurs have let us have him back ( seeing as he was never going to play for their first team anyway this season) but with Costa and Harrison here now, and young Jamie Shackleton on the up – how many starts are you going to get with us this season?

FFP and balancing the books. I’m not going to bore you all by pretending I know the ins and outs of it – because like 95% of football fans in this country, I haven’t got a clue. It was made up by a group of people who’s only goal is to keep the “bigger” teams where they were and to make sure none of the “smaller” teams would never get the chance to usurp the “bigger” ones. It’s another example of changing the goalposts, just so it keeps everyone in their rightful place. It’s a bit like after Watford got promoted with almost an entire team of Italian loan players and then the season after they bought in a new regulation about the maximum number of loan players you can have in a team… But FFP is much more about money. How much you have, how much you can “lie” about what you have, how creative your “accountant” is, how good the lawyers are when it comes to finding loopholes, how many times you can sell your ground and then buy it back for pittance, how good you are at getting a “sponsor” to pay the wages of your coach… the list is endless. But like most things it boils down to money.

The long and short of all of this, is that what happened in the summer happened. We still have Bielsa and that is good enough for me. We have lost players but judging by our massive (7) changes to the team – unlike the 11 changes we and other clubs have made previously in the Cup early rounds, we play really well still. There is so much that happens behind closed doors, and short of bugging the offices at ER, we will NEVER know what has truly gone on. We, as fans , are just left with what we have, and it’s still looking good. As for what has really happened, the truth…? I’m not too fussed – I can’t take the rumours, let alone the facts! The only thing that matters is – we go again!

 

1st away of the season, sees our intrepid Chairman triumph by exploring and solving the climate change conundrum and then fall mercilessly (literally – almost) from grace by ignoring all the advice from the 1970s public road safety campaigns in pursuit of a tenner.

Climate change: (this all stemmed from a discussion about how the ridiculous media were slating the “shoddy” workmanship of the Victorian builders of the dam which has been damaged, despite the fact they built the dam in 1835 with wheelbarrows, spades and forks, no heavy machinery at all… and it is/was still standing after 175+years, up until 3 days ago)

The Chairman: All this climate change crap, it’s all rubbish. These stupid scientists spouting on about the environment, just a bunch of clowns.

A: Eh?

Chairman: Well in the 70s we were all being told to expect another Ice Age. And if all this climate change is due to humans, what pollution did the cavemen do to cause the first Ice Age then?

A: Point taken

Chairman: Then scientists in the 80s told us the hole in the ozone layer was going to get bigger and we would be fried to a crisp by the year 2000 . What’s happened to that hole? Oh it’s gone now. We’ve cured it. Humans cured it.

A: Difficult to argue with that.

Chairman: And remember when all the cities had smog?

A: No! When were you born?

Chairman: No I do. I remember Smog. A thick layer of it, no one could breathe, you could just see it hanging there for ages, a cloud of it.

A: ?

Chairman: We cured it. There was no climate problems back in the olden days. Bring back Smog. Simple. I’m gonna get that on a T shirt – Bring Back Smog

The Lunch of Terror: Tufty Club badge holder? Hang your head in shame.

For some bizarre reason The Chairman chose to treat the first ex Knaresborough Branch Secretary, Dave Rowson to a romantic Chinese luncheon at our refreshment stop.

Why? Who knows? Maybe the traditional away day repast of ‘Spoons mixed grill or All Day Breakfast didn’t take The Chairman’s fancy yesterday? Who knows what goes on in the comms chair of The Chairmans brain?  Unfortunately, for reasons which don’t need to be expanded on, neither of them could tell us exactly what they ended up eating which kept us on tenterhooks for – oh at least 60 seconds. Eventually it transpired that whatever they did eat involved a lot of Tiger beer and rice. Special fried or just plain boiled, is anyone’s guess. However, on leaving the Chinese, The Chairman made a schoolboy error dealing with his change. The famous, normally infallible inside pocket, came a cropper and a gust of wind caught that tenner and whisked it out into the road. It was like a 70’s style public infomercial in slow mo. And, just like the very traffic unconscious children of the 70s, The Chairman just ran out into the road chasing after a fluttering tenner. (In the 70’s it wouldn’t have been a tenner, it would have been a ten shilling note. If a ten shilling note had fluttered into the road in the 70s the cars would have been run over by the crowd of people chasing it). A scene of astonishment, confusion and bewilderment ensued. With onlookers aghast, holding their breath at the impending carnage, perhaps the imminent demise of The Chairman. Oh No! What would his 4,000+ followers do? Reports were, that The Chairman weaved across the road in a completely rabid Benny Hill moment with the ghost of the now pensioner squirrel, Tufty, standing at the pavement’s edge screaming “Stop, Look and Listen – you fool, how hard is it to remember?”.

The Chairman is herewith no longer a member of the Tufty Club.

 

 

 

 

The summer is over and the season begins on Sunday.

Monthly Branch Meeting

The last meeting was the AGM (write up soon- less heavily redacted speech from Mr Rowson) and as we will be coming back from Bristol on Sunday, the next monthly branch meeting will be Sunday 11th August, 8pm, the Londesborough Club, Bower Road, Harrogate. Anyone who hasn’t paid their subs and isn’t coming to Bristol can bring their pennies and completed forms along with them on the night please. Please try to attend your branch meeting, as it is the best way to book on for away games and keep up to date with what’s going on.

Memberships

The Membership Secretary is alive and kicking, and currently heavily burdened with processing the renewal forms. He thanks everyone who has included a stamped addressed envelope for the returns. Most of you will receive your membership cards and free (branch has paid for them) Leeds United Supporters Club centenary wallet in the post in the next few days. Anyone who hasn’t yet received a renewal form will be able to fill one in on the bus on Sunday otherwise please get in touch , usual channels.

Away Games

As usual we will order tickets for away games for people who cannot order their own on ticket sale day and have a valid Leeds United customer number. We CANNOT guarantee that we will get all the tickets required, as it is wholly dictated by Leeds United’s selling arrangements and the reliability of T’internet connection. The only way to ensure you get a ticket is to order your own. If anyone wants any home tickets ordering, please can you get in touch as soon as, as again, if the team are doing well, home tickets will be in short supply.

The departure details have been posted on facebook for Bristol.

Salford have only given us 1400 or so tickets, so after deducting the ASTs, it only leaves a paltry amount for us plebs. Alternative transport arrangements will have to decide after the appropriate discussions have taken place with any other interested parties.

A.O.B.

Social Media

The public facebook page was changed by facebook for whatever reason they did. We will try to change the name back to Harrogate Whites if they let us. Not completely sure what went on but either way, they have done it. The website continues to be put on the backburner behind facebook but at some point the pictures from the BBQ and preseason will be posted. All departure details will be posted on the CLOSED facebook group only, and you need to have filled in your membership form in order to be in that closed group.

Centenary Goods

We will be selling the bags, wristbands,glasses, car stickers etc. in earnest from now on. All in aid of our sponsorship of Ryan (see below) and the now obligatory end of season BBQ. We don’t have paypal, but you can request stuff to be brought to the monthly branch meetings or on the bus,

Ryan’s Sponsorship

It was agreed at the AGM that we go for the silver sponsorship package for Ryan this season, plus if we went for the Gold package our former secretary would have probably imploded. It would have got very messy. Hopefully we will get our official certificate in the post this year. This package includes invitational places at a training session at Thorp Arch and hospitality tickets to a home game (date/time etc. to be confirmed by the Club) as well as a shirt. We will look to raffle these off to raise funds for our (hopefully) future continued sponsorship of Ryan as he makes his mark on the first team this season. Any help with these raffles and any other fundraising activity is most welcome. I probably don’t need to remind you that the branch is a not for profit organisation, but like Leeds United we need to make ends meet and our outgoings must be balanced by other forms of income.

Lastly, anyone who can help out on the website (uses wordpress), please get in contact. The website is viewed more often than we think and it is a worthwhile opportunity to publicise the branch and the LUSC as a whole.

After this weekends’ phenomenal displays of (un)sporting behaviour both at Villa and at Pride Park, I really cannot help myself but to collate an Alternative Awards list for this season. So here are some of the Heroes and Zeroes of the season in summary.

Please note, the list is neither exhaustive nor exclusive, if you have any specific examples of e.g. further blatant cheating, please get in touch via the facebook page and I take all suggestions into consideration..

(Apologies for the text below some of the photos / links as they are borrowed from googleimages and I think I have to include them)

So here are my candidates for each category:

For the Channelling My Inner “Here’s Jack” “I’m not taking this very gracefully – Spitting Feathers, Rabid Dog” look, I give you – Richard Keough

 

For the Neil Warnock Award for Persistent Chelping – Richard Keough

 

For the highest accolade (Lawrence Olivier Medal) in the Ashley Young “clever game management” Award – the only winner can be Jack Grealish

 

 

For the Stevie Wonder Best Refereeing Display – hands down – Stewart Atwell

 

For the Chronicles Of Narnia James McAvoy as Mr Tumnus Dodgy Beard Award – (sorry) Gaetano Beradi

For the WWF Forearm Smash of The Season – Tom Huddlestone

For the “Get Your Kit Off” shirt pull of the season – (this one beat Pontus at Sheff Utd) – Some bloke from Sheff

 

The Roy Keane Self Harm Award can only go to one winner – Adomah

For the David Attenborough Best Documentary Not Faked In A TV Studio Award “The Hunting in Packs”

https://twitter.com/i/status/1059267934139277313

 

For the “What The F**king Hell is that?” Worse Mascot costume – Ipswich

 

For The Darren Anderton Sicknote Award for Least Appearances But Got A Yellow Out Of It  Anyway – Izzy Brown

 

For The Martin Atkinson Official of the Season Award – the man, the legend – Eddie Smart

 

For The Arsene Wenger “I never saw what happened” Total Denial Award – Dean Smith

 

For The Best Interview of The Season Award – the most learned genius Salim Lamrani. The guy is mint – MPO’s hero

Reporter asks question in English, question translated into Spanish, Bielsa gives answer in Spanish, translated into English, Bielsa gives answer in English. 🙃
If only all manager interviews were like this 🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/UnNDND2h4z

— Soccer AM (@SoccerAM) August 6, 2018

For The “I’m so desperate for Liverpool to finally win a league title” coverage – EVERY SkyTVisf**kings**t Sports Commentator and BBC Sports presenter this weekend

For The “As In The End – It Is Between You and God” Mother Teresa Award for Morality  – Dean Smith for allowing West Brom to walk the ball into the net on Saturday lunchtime after Grealish dived for that penalty, after all, that’s how we do it in England – oh hang on….. that actually didn’t happen did it?

 

🗣 "It's a big opportunity for us"

⚽️ Leeds United head coach Marcelo Bielsa on the responsibility he feels to the supporters, especially those who are poor, to bring happiness and pride in the team. #lufc

👂 ⏩ https://t.co/EwJ4PC8YPt pic.twitter.com/DCVsN7guvA

— Adam Pope (@apopey) May 9, 2019

It’s not often I do anything particularly serious on here – I leave that to the proper journos and the “real” voice of the fans – oh unless I have something to moan about of course…

But I was pondering this today after the press are all over themselves about how the English clubs have taken over Europe. It’s great for Bielsa to say this, but will this make him Public Enemy #1 for the Premier League and the EFL?

The fact is that Bielsa has endeared himself to just about every Leeds fan and probably every other football fan who isn’t (still) insanely jealous of Leeds United. What do I mean by that? I’ll expand.

For every football fan who is sick of the diving and cheating and time wasting etc. “clever game management” SkyTVisf**kings**t like to call it apparently – the guy is standing out. Standing up for the beautiful game, the way it should be played.

For every fan who is sick of the joke that the rules and regulations of football has become since the Shaun Harveys / Greg Dyke / Greg Clarkes of this world came into being – Bielsa is a breath of fresh air. The first thing you are taught when you start playing is PLAY TO THE WHISTLE.

For the fans who are interested in what goes on for 90 minutes on the pitch (or more if you are losing and you are Norwich/Scum etc .etc) – Bielsa is Vorsprung Durch Technik in a hoodie. (Incidentally it is great that Audi are making these cars – just a shame that they can’t make their indicators work!!!)

For fans who aren’t afraid to acknowledge what has gone on in the past and what still goes on in behind closed doors in the boardrooms – Bielsa is the Argentinian Honest Abe (look it up if you never did it in history).

For the fans who actually want to go and watch a game live, to experience it and be part of it – Bielsa is the Dave Grohl of arena atmospherics.

For the loyal Leeds fans who have spent the last decade wondering how many loan players we are going to end up with whilst the Youth team are being cast to all four corners of the country – Bielsa is the Moses of Yorkshire

However, since how long has football NOT been about this?

Bielsa publically acknowledging that origins of football are basically that anyone can play it, regardless of wealth,  education and status, and stressing that poor people watch football as well, doesn’t really endear him to the REAL people who are in charge of football.

Given that we are told that the pinnacle of footballing glory is playing in the Chumpions League / Europa League, where ticket prices are upwards of £100, £500 in the posh seats, fessing up that poor people watch football, isn’t really going to sit well with the FIFA footballing gods, is it?

The ticket allocations for the finals are 16,000 each for the Chumpions League (Athletico Madrid) and 6,000 for the Europa League (Baku in deepest darkest Azerbaijan). You’d think that if this is the pinnacle of football – you’d probably be better playing it in a really big ground which was easily accessible to all fans, and give more than half of the (affordable??)  tickets to travelling fans???

No??

Yes???

Ah – but DO the common or garden fans actually matter? Or is it more about the TV rights, sponsorship deals, corporate tickets for friends and family of UEFA / FIFA / foreign governments etc. etc. You only have to look at the farce that the World Cup bids were these last two tournaments with all the dodgy dealings going on to see what’s happening. And still, the competition is going to go ahead, completely inconveniencing just about every other league in the world, ruining the “traditional” football – for what? Oh because they “won” the bid.

So much for the World Cup actually being about the football then.

The fact is that football in England started as something to do on a Saturday afternoon between finishing work at the factory and the pub opening. That’s it. Working class roots. Yes, this is the Harrogate branch of LUSC, and some people think that Harrogate is posh. But like most towns and cities in the UK, not everyone in Harrogate is loaded. Away from the inhabitants of the luxury apartments overlooking The Stray, there are just ordinary working class people here. Not forgetting of course that some people have worked very hard for a living, and if they have made their money grafting all the way, they are entitled to splashing the cash to live somewhere nice, even if it means the streets are clogged up by Cyclopaths every summer.

It is great that Bielsa has acknowledged that fans work hard to earn enough money to watch Leeds United. For me personally, it’s great that the manager and the players respect me and the ones who come week in and week out. It’s great to be recognised and rewarded for my loyalty for once. The Ridsdales and O Learys were only about their own fame and fortune, and don’t even get me started with Warnock and GFH. Finally it seems that Leeds United is getting back to the fans.

Great for us, but not for the people ultimately in charge.

So, Bielsa has already pissed of the EFL. He’s already pissed of the football royalty of the Lampards etc. By playing some of the most technical football this league has seen, he stuck his foot in it. By integrating the U23s / U18s and getting involved with the U11s, he is ruining the ideas of football agents (the other ones with all the power in 21st Century football). He is basically single handedly undermining the principles (or rather lack of principles) in English football.

He is public enemy #1  and he is ours.