January 3rd. Remember the date…

It seems like such a long time now. In terms of time and in terms of the football we are watching. Apologies for the fuzzy picture – Samsung for you! I think that today’s forecast of  maximum temp of 11 and minimum temp of 10 degrees is a bit misleading. Completely conflicting with the actual temperature outside this morning – which was bloody freezing. Full on windscreen scraping at 6.30am this morning! But it is January after all. Winter. Brrr.

Anyway, back to football

January 3rd 2010. The manager – Simon Grayson. The second to last manager we have had who was interested in a cup run. It’s a shame he didn’t do too well in the play off final though.  Our last manager to engage in cup run was the Mighty Steve Evans, who got us to the heady heights of the 5th round. I liked Steve Evans.

13 years on and where are we now? The gulf that divides Leeds and a decent Cup run has become so huge, it could well be described as a crevasse. Let’s not mince words – Mariana Trench. As is the gulf between the football we are playing and the football we were playing.

The recent years under Bielsa hasn’t helped. Even under him our Cup runs weren’t much to write home about, but his job was to get us promoted, which he did. The football we played the last season in the Championship and the 1st season in the PL was exceptional. The best I have seen us play in a long long time. Some of those games are probably the best games I have watched in real life. Certainly there were lots of heart stopping moments, both home and away, but I suppose beating Birmingham at St Andrews or that home game against West Brom? Probably still cannot beat the display in Monaco in 1995 though. Yeboah. Yeboah.

Either way, after drudgery of losing just 3-1 to Citeh at home ( I know, it could have been worse if Grealish had brought his shooting boots that day) and the stalemate at St James’s Park, the football we are enduring is hardly enough to light a sparkler, let alone a firework.

After watching the Brentford v Livarpool game last night and Chelski’s poor effort against Forest, no wonder we beat them. Our other two wins so far this season, were against Bournemouth and Wolves ( I think it was an own goal in the end?). But at least the teams below us are (up to press) worse than us, so my target of 16th this season is, us safe from relegation.

This is possibly THE most pessimistic I have been in a long long time. But at least I think we are safe from the drop. Purely because there are 6 teams (Bournemouth, Everton, West Ham, Forest, Wolves and Southampton) below us. I think I could maybe chuck in Leicester in the relegation dog fight too, so a bit more of a safety cushion there. Fingers crossed.

Whilst most, if not all other Leeds fans saw a brave defensive performance against Citeh, I’m afraid I just saw an off-the-pace De Bruyne and Grealish minus his shooting boots. Against Newcastle, even though I was a million miles from the pitch, we looked slow and narrow. But according to the manager, we “put in a solid display”. I may just have the January blues, but realistically I see nothing which makes me think we will be anything more than, well, 16th.

The only outstanding moments so far this season have been Meslier’s saves and Pascal’s efforts in front of goal. Meslier has kept us in it several times, and he managed to annoy the Barcodes on Saturday. Always a bonus.

Beige

In food terms, right now Leeds United are houmous. Beige but does the job.

At times under Bielsa, we were medium rare T bone steak, triple cooked chips in beef dripping, with a mountain of onion rings and just half a grilled tomato please. Sometimes we were a mega mix naan kebab with chilli and garlic mayo – exceptional times! But in the main, a decent ribeye steak, chips, onion rings and tomato (no mushrooms).

In the PL at the moment, Arsenal isn’t even rump steak let alone rib eye. Citeh are the equivalent of BBQ meat feast pan pizza hut delivery (sometimes right on time and toppings to the edge, other times 10 minutes late and not enough ham). Livarpool and Sc*m? Drive thru Big Mac Meal. Always full of hope that it will be as good as it looks on the picture, but in the main, limp soggy bread and overdone chips. Newcastle though, they are beginning to look like the roast beef dinner, with a giant Yorkshire pudding of the league this season.

Midtable Spurs, Brentford, Brighton etc. delectations are Drakes fish and chips, Wetherspoons big breakfast, Toby carvery, KFC bargain bucket and maybe the Mill Hill Doner. At the other end of the table, you have Southampton currently on the Asda smartprice veg pasty, with the rest of the bottom half ranging between Greggs vegan sausage roll, Cooplands 4 sausage rolls for £1.20, supermarket quiche and maybe reaching the heady heights of a Fray Bentos steak and kidney pie.

Us? Houmous.

And like all houmous, you could chuck a bit of money at it and go to town for Marks and Sparks / Waitrose / Sainsburys Taste The Difference red pepper stuff, but it’s just houmous. Even if Radrizzani does what the fans want him to do, and he splashes the cash in the transfer window, we’d still just be generic beige with an extra squeeze of lemon juice and a hint of garlic.

But this is good enough for most Leeds fans. Mid table and concentrating on the league season after season. No cup runs, no excitement, just beige.

It’s just not good enough for me. I’ve been spoilt by Bielsa.

But I’ve seen us worse.

Under Warnock we were the yellow stickered egg and cress sarnie in brown bread reduced to 10p. I’ll stay the course, like I always do and hope for better times ahead. If you don’t expect too much, you’re never going to be let down too harshly.

16th.

Until the new Messiah comes. Until then, we will always have the hope of January 3rd. I just hope it doesn’t take us another 13 years.

Well folks, it’s Cup football week and sadly, it’s the same old, same old AGAIN.

You may be asking why I would think anything different would happen this season. After all we’ve got a gruelling run up til Christmas of non stop long aways and we’re down at the bottom of the table, lower than our opponents, Wolves, so why would it be any different from any other season? We need to concentrate on the league surely, because we have had so many injuries at the start of the season and our players are exhausted after the intensity of the summer’s international tournaments. Right?

What’s that?

We don’t have an imminent terrible run of long aways? No one told me that after Spurs there was going to be a 6 week break for most of the team because of some tournament? Really? 6 weeks more or less of no games? Has anyone told Leeds United about this?

But surely our opposition on Wednesday were better than us and we wouldn’t stick a chance?

What???

Are Wolves below us in the league? Wolves don’t even have a proper manager? That one has passed me by. Nah, that can’t be right. Wolves have got a worse record than us since the start of the season? Eh? But haven’t we had a horribly depleted team full of injuries because Murderball and Bielsa is too much for them? Bielsa got sacked in February?

WHAAAT?

On paper we should have won that game on Wednesday. The Wolves fans were thinking that they were going to have their arses well and truly  whopped before the game.

What did we do?

We lost.

But “nevermind guys, it was a good performance, and we were really unlucky”. “They were a far more experienced team. The young guys played really well”. I think Ayling, Harrison and Klich might have had some experience getting us promoted to the PL, or did Take Me Home get that wrong? Mind you – they were playing in their right positions for most of that time.

These are the line ups

And these were the subs. Pay extra attention to the two Wolves subs who got played, shirt numbers 77 and 81

Vastly more experienced team? You are having a giraffe.

This was the subs bench at the Citeh v Chelski game

Do you notice anything different?

I admit, they have bigger squads, but how many of those players will be representing their country in the Slavery World Cup too and have been having that extra pressure on them? Citeh have Brentford and Chelski have the newly resurgent Bar Codes tomorrow. But they still put out a decent bench and Conti played Kane, even though he’s had his work cut out since Son has been injured.

In summary, we had an unusually winnable game at Wolves on Wednesday.

Unusually, there were plenty of tickets for the game on Weds, because it wasn’t a massive “glamour tie”, so parents and kids hoping to see their heroes, were able to get tickets. Judging by the number of unfamiliar faces I saw on Weds, there were quite a few there who had been lucky enough to get a ticket, that don’t normally go away.

Unusually, the game came on the back of a bit of a good run. Despite people on the day of the Liverpool game actually saying they wanted Dyche, after our win, it was all BRILLIIIANT again. Even though Liverpool were less than ordinary and are still suffering from the departure of Mane to the Bundesliga.

Even betterer, we then go on to beat Bournemouth, after overturning a 3-1 deficit, with …. wait for it ….. substitutions which changed the starting formation! A novel idea if I ever saw one. How refreshing it was to see a corner being taken without two grown men whispering to each other like characters in a Jane Austen book. Honestly, sometimes I think all it would take would be a couple of ribboned bonnets and corsets, Colin Firth to come striding out of the North East Corner in his undies, topped off with Emma Thompson overacting, and it could be Pride & Prejudice or set piece Sense and Sensibility. Oooh Mr Darcy!

So SkinnyJeans has been catapulted, as they say in the USA, from zero to hero. The inspired subs of Willy “he’s not ready for the PL until at least January” Gnonto and Greenwood have propelled us to a massive 12th. 15 points already and only another 24 points needed to secure us PL safety ( I hope). Over a third of the way there, and it’s not even Christmas – with a game in hand.

With Wolves and Forest thankfully having a truly terrible start, we are sitting pretty on top of the 6 remaining relegation fodder teams, PLUS we have that game in hand. So what was wrong with at least trying to get a couple of cup games in, and maybe get a decent home draw to make some money in before Christmas? A full house a ER in the run up to Christmas would have got Leeds some money in from all the kids wanting extra tat in for Christmas. They could have sold a load more of those mass manufactured Xmas jumpers made in the sweatshops in the Far East, and probably raked in a bit more in food and drink to boot. Maybe add a few more £75 memberships and a few more onto that season ticket wait list. £££s or should it be $$$?

What’s wrong with gaining a bit of winning momentum? Three wins in three?

But he just couldn’t do it though. And the keyboard warriors all just went along with the narrative of “let’s stay focused on the league”. 

What have our miserable failings due to fielding weakened sides done for us in the last 20 years? I can forgive Bielsa to an extent because his job was to get us promoted. Apart from the last season where the Board probably were wanting him to get dumped out of the domestic cups sooner, to give them an excuse to give him the boot quicker.

What have our early exits achieved in the last two decades?

Jack all. Apart from managing to piss off every fan who dragged their sorry arses (when they could get tickets because the ground-hoppers were desperate to tick a box) to the likes of Histon, Sutton, Newport etc. 

“First it was the League Cup and before so very long”

Well at this rate, it will be another 50 years before we get to Wembley in a Cup final. Realistically, how else would we get into Europe again? We can’t match the moneymen in the Top 6 for a Chumpions League spot. A win in the Cup could get us to playing Sc*m in the heady heights of the Europa League Final. If we could be bothered that is. This season we could have done a bit more, but same old, same old.

What is wrong with a bit of aspiration? What is wrong with a bit of pride in yourself and passion for the game?

Where would the world be without people who dare to be different, break away from the shackles of normality and put their heads above the parapet? You’d like to think that there are parents and teachers out there who inspire and encourage the young to better themselves. When I was little, it was drilled into me to not just accept stuff without question because I was told to do it. That to simply follow the crowd and accept what was going on wasn’t good if it felt was wrong. I was taught to fight for my beliefs and challenge those who would try and convince me otherwise.

Not to be though, and the keyboard warriors just toed the line and defended everything. And when they couldn’t defend it anymore, they just started with the name calling and insults.

If there is anything that annoys me, it is those Entitled super-fans who feel that they are “more Leeds” than others. No one is any better than anyone else. We are all just Leeds. In some people’s heads though, some are more Leeds than others. 

These are the ones who without any thought or consideration like to chuck insults around to anyone who dares to disagree with them. They have no accountability for their actions or comments, and are just as likely to be screaming for the managers / boards (delete as appropriate) heads one week and then claiming them to be the best thing since sliced bread the next. There’s nothing wrong with changing your mind, but no doubt the ones for example who were sending death threats to players a few seasons back and claiming that none of them were fit to wear the shirt, were all at ER at the open top bus thing celebrating along with Amazon when we got promoted. Similarly the ones wanting SkinnyJ out before Liverpool, probably posted that hugging heart emoji on the video of his post match interview pledging their undying allegiance to him.

Some idiot was laughing at people who went to the game (stupidly) thinking we would win. This fool clearly has no idea that there is a cost of living crisis going on, where every penny counts. And clearly has no empathy for any poor parents who have forked out hard earned money to take their kid to watch their heroes play football. Only to see that disappear in a cloud of complacency and apathy. It is still difficult to get time off work, it is still difficult to get an away ticket. Unless of course, you have the luxury of having enough money to do whatever you want. But you’d think if you did have all that, you’d be a little bit mindful of people less fortunate.

The only thing that riles me more than these imbeciles, are the ones who deliberately stand in your seat at away games and refuse to move on when asked. The ones who “are Leeds United and we’ll stand where we want”. Pushing old people and kids around so they can stand with their mates on their big day out until we start losing. Then they skulk off down to the bogs to do whatever it is that they do in there. The ones with complete disregard for anyone else who actually just wants to watch the game. Because they think that everyone should be like them or they ” aren’t proper Leeds fans”. Even though some of us have been going to games before these were managing to get through the night without wetting the bed. 

We turn up. We watch the game. We celebrate if we win and moan when we lose. It is just how it always is. We pay our money, we have a right to disagree. No need to take the p*ss out of people who just want to see us win, because ultimately, surely that’s what we all want, isn’t it?

Here’s to a FA Cup run in January. Fingers crossed. Unless it is the same old, same old

 

After the weekend, I had no choice but to write this. Because unless you weren’t at the game and couldn’t hear the South Stand, or haven’t seen the video already (which I am not going to share – cos it’s a bit sensitive), it was life imitating art (sort of). I wrote this (see below excerpt) in the last blog, and there it was on Saturday. We start scoring more than two goals in the game and someone starts a song off about Willy Gnonto

I had to laugh, because this may well be the new song for the rest of the season. That is of course, if someone doesn’t report it for being offensive and un-pc, leading to it being cancelled. And rather than it being a small section of the crowd, most heard it and joined in with it (apart from the Offended). And the supposition that Gnonto drinks moretti, eats spaghetti and …. I just can’t write it … was shared over social media. I think we have the Gen Z Enoch Showumni!

Praise to the South Stand from me is rare, mostly because you know my opinion of the “limbs” thing. But whether or not the instigators of the song had actually read my last blog, or whether they just have the same bizarre culturally misappropriative mindset that I have, it was too much of a coincidence. It was life imitating art. Should you find that sort of thing funny – it was funny.

However, if he stops scoring (unlikely) or if the higher powers that be decide that it pushes the boundaries a little too much (more likely) – that may well be the last time we hear that song. But well done. A sturdy pat on the back to you – whoever you are.

The song, like parts of the second half, harked back to some semblance of the days of football past, when we played proper football. I’m not saying that Gnonto and Summerville are the finished article, far from it. Anyone who has spoken to me recently knows how much I think there are bits of Yeboah about Gnonto already. No, I am referring to when we used to be able to pass a ball to one another, in fact string a few decent passes together.

It took the despair away from the mighty mess which was the 1st half at least. I know I have moaned about Leeds fans being fickle, but it was a challenge, even for me, to see any positive in the first 45 minutes. We were dire.

Like we have seen many, many times before we were ridiculously narrow, no wide options to pass the ball to going forward and our midfield, again, were none existent when they hit us on the break. We gifted the equaliser and the second goal, well, no comment. A fair few missed the stroll up the park which was the 3rd goal, as they were too busy enjoying themselves in the bar. Thankfully Greenwood coming on made a massive difference. The rest is history as they say.

We won, and after beating the Scousers and smashing Dick Van Dijk’s defensive record, it seems all is forgiven and we are, once again, heading for a place in Europe.

The master-plan is back on track and everyone who was hoping for Dyche before the Liverpool game, has now been convinced that SkinnyJeans is our next big hope again for Premiership glory. This is all good news for the board, and of course, SkinnyJ. He has got his reprieve, and despite the pre Liverpool panic and doom, it is all back to the rose garden. Everyone is smiley, smiley again.

Unfortunately for Harrison, the disassembling and dismantlement of the Bielsa Boys legacy is also back on track. If only Rodrigo would just stop scoring, that would be the next step complete for the transformation. He remains our top goal scorer, so no chance of that anytime soon.

Whilst Gnonto and Summerville ascending is ultimately brilliant for the club, it spells the end for Harrison and Rodrigo. Harrison will go to Newcastle, where Howe will play him as a proper winger. With a proper defence behind him and a target man and a number 10 at Newcastle, Harrison will do well. He may not be as young as Willy and Crysencio, but he has a good footballing head and when he plays in his correct position, as in the Bielsa team, he will be an asset.

Rodrigo is a brilliant player, but he is not a fans favourite. He will hit as many wayward crosses and miss as many shots as the Aaronson / Adams / Rasmus combination will, but Rodrigo will be slated for them, unlike the others. He will be subbed, even when he doesn’t need to be, when others won’t.

Whilst everyone will complain that he is rubbish and the defence is crap, it will continue to deflect from the truth that midfield is our weakest link. Even though Struijk isn’t a left back, he has done a cracking job. Even though our backline has supplied the large majority of our crosses, and even Coops has scored a goal, they are still at fault for our losses. The fact that they are encouraged to go so far forward, therefore resulting in them having to leg it back when we get hit on the break, escapes the attention of most. We have no defensive midfielders. No Phillips, no Batty-esque players, so why are people surprised that we hand goals to the opposition on a plate?

But this is how we play now, and it has worked because we beat Liverpool and Chelsea and Bournemouth. Hasn’t it? Who cares about our defensive line, because we are winning. Correct? Who needs a team with one touch passing and creative midfielders? Who needs a solid back four? Like Bonnie Tyler – we just need a hero.

Unfortunately this means that we will be watching sport how sport in the movies is played. This is when the hero gets the ball and heads towards goal with “Chariots of Fire” being played in the background. The scorer has to the goal in sight, his team mates around him throwing themselves at the opponents to stop them getting to him, and finally after the epic run, he shoots – he scores. Everyone runs to the hero. Glory Glory Hallelujah! Limbs all round.

It is formulaic and it fits the narrative.

Give me Lee Chapman any day of the week.

It’s been 7 months and 15 days, since they stole you away from me aah aah aah aaah. I know, I am waxing lyrical, with an awful lot of artistic licence, with the 1991 Sinead O Connor hit, but the fact is, nothing compares to….. guess who?

For those too young to remember Sinead, look it up. 

I could really write the whole blog bastardising the entire lyrics from the song, but I would probably be breaching some sort of copyright law or something. I’ve also vehemently vocalised how much I hate it when people lazily “borrow” bits of my blog to make them sound good, so there’s no way I would do it, however tempting. But the opportunity is there in “Nothing Compares 2 U” – to give it it’s full proper title, to draw all sorts of parallels to the suffering that we are enduring, with the angst Prince (or weird squiggle) penned of back in the 90s.

Quick reminder, as if anyone needed any, unlike Elsa in the film Frozen, I cannot let it go. The last 8 months or so hasn’t really changed my mind at all. In fact, since the start of the season, events have unfolded which have only served to reinforce, if not completely re-affirm, that I was right at the time, and still am. Short of a massive win tomorrow against the league leaders, Arsenal, three points on Thursday at the Foxes, a walloping win in the Cup at Wolves and then a full on assault of, er, mid table, I can’t see me being proven wrong.

If we achieve the high teens before the Slavery World Cup, I am old and ugly enough to take the backlash. If we get to 30 points before April, I will be ecstatic as the next man. And if we get to the heady heights above the relegation drop zone, and my massive target of 16th in the table is attained, I will be partying like it’s 1999!

Shall I hold my breath?

Nothing compares to Bielsa. It was always going to be a big ask. The task was made much harder by the way my Club treated him. “Dismissed?” “Parted on mutual terms?” More like sh*t on from a great height and completely shafted by the Board. But it’s their money, they can do what they want, how they want. Right?

The fans? Realistically, once we started not winning, the keyboard warrior crowd and those who had only recently started following (as opposed to supporting) Leeds United, had their knives sharpened and out. The rapturous applause and congratulations of achieving the highest placed position of a newly promoted side, and triumph and plaudits of the Amazon “Take Me Home” series lasted only a bit longer than my Prime subscription in that second season.

Once we started playing to a live crowd again, it all petered out. It is all well and good when we are winning, but once we aren’t doing so well, the crowd jump on the tiniest mistake, and well, it all starts going downhill from there. I’ve been (un)lucky enough to have watched us for three decades now. It’s true, sometimes when the chips are down, like Norwich away in 2016 or Birmingham away 2019, the crowd are the 12th man. But it is also true that some of our fans are very fickle and some of the abuse dished out to our players, by our own fans, may be as good as a 12th man for the opposition. Notably, not so long since, at Leicester away when people were actually cheering when Tyler got injured. Who honestly cheers when one of your own players gets injured? At least five of the fourth row in the away corner at Filbert Street – that’s who. Disgraceful!

Since the day we “found out” they sacked him, everything has followed a similar path. I think I saw on noseybook something from Phil Hay at the start of the day and from then on, social media lit up like a Christmas tree. There were all sorts of stories that it was “always going to happen” etc. etc. etc. Then of course, our new manager revealed that he had been in talks for ages anyway, and this was the soundbyte

Mint! Not really. It’s like cheating on your missus and then the new girlfriend saying that she needed to move in sooner, because it was always going to happen anyway, and it was too painful to drag it out any longer. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

The way in which it was done, and the way things have continued to be done, just smacks of this horrible fake, forced, manufactured manipulation of events. And not just off the pitch, it’s on it as well! And I don’t like it! 

What do I mean?

From the off, the very recruitment of Marsch (see I said his name!) seemed like a set up. It was as if they deliberately picked someone with a name which would conveniently and perfectly fit into the meme / media tenor gif generator thing of social media. If things work out and we get into Europe / Champions League, the song, and the T shirt, is already there – Marsching On Together. Brilliant – right? Seriously – am I the only one who thought that?

American owners or at least major American stakeholders, and the Club canvas for a Bielsa replacement (which was always going to happen allegedly) with an American manager. The U-S-A chant from parts of the Kop was embarrassingly akin to a Trump rally and rightly shouted down by the more discerning members of the stand. There is a time and a place for that, and this wasn’t it.

Incidentally, there was a quote from Bielsa (allegedly) saying he wanted to stay here forever. Myself –  if anyone were to replace Bielsa should he choose to abandon us, I would have gone for Ranieri. I thought Bielsa would stay to at least get us into Europe. I think he had a point to prove, and without our crippling (no pun intended) injury list, I think he would have got us there.

Once the new manager was installed, all of a sudden, every player and his dog did an interview saying how brilliant it was under the new boss and how terrible it had been under Bielsa. Jointly, they slated the punishing training regime and the lack of touchy feelyness which they were so relieved to be released from with the new gaffer. They described Bielsa’s aloofness and how awful it had been to train ALL THE TIME to be fit for the whole 90 minutes. It was starting to sound like they actually thought there was more to football than lasting two halves of 45 minutes on the pitch (plus fergietime) and trying to stop goals going into our net and score in the oppositions net. Bizarre that. 

Thankfully all that has stopped now, as I am afraid none of them were as good at interviews as what they thought. Lord Bamford continues to pop up occasionally but he really needs to enunciate a bit more, and stop reducing his volume to a slow drawl towards the end of his sentences as if he is running out of air. I’m not sure if that is how the younger generation actually talk now, along with their West Coast upspeak, but honestly, for anyone who is hard of hearing and trying to lip read, Patrick is the equivalent of Wallace – without Gromit for the comedy factor. 

Then there were the displays on the East Stand to make us look good on the telly. I admit, the first “We are Leeds” thing they did at the start of the season was good. When they gave out free scarves when we were in with a chance for promotion the other season, that was ok and those yellow flags which then appeared on eBay a week later for a fiver, were ok.

But then it just kept going, it just seemed excessive. It was like they felt they had to carry on  doing something / anything, because, like a tube of Pringles, once you pop, you just can’t  stop. Until, of course, when the East Stand Underage Ultras couldn’t maintain their concentration and support for the team. That fateful day when they just got bored and (with the help of their equally uninterested parents) chucked stuff at Raphinha and anyone else who dared stray towards the Family Stand.

The minor miscalculation of only getting 2000 Stuey Dallas T shirts for 3000 Arsenal away allocation didn’t help either. FOMO resulted in some of the remaining 1000 away support squabbling with other Leeds fans for taking T shirts that either didn’t belong to them, or liberating more than one (also resulting in them being up on ebay for £100 this time!). So much for All Leeds Aren’t We. As in Animal Farm, we are all Leeds, it’s just that some are more Leeds than others.

The next bone of contention was digital tickets. EVERYONE wants digital tickets apparently. It’s safer, more secure and easier than those pesky cards. Oh and greener! Let’s not forget the Green agenda. After all, we must all do our part. Even if the rest of the world is building coal fired power stations at a rate of knots, dumping all their rubbish into the ocean and deforesting the Amazon quicker than The Chairman can get through a KFC at LFE.

Sorry, lost it there. Couldn’t help it. The thought of wasting a tin of soup by chucking it at a painting during a cost of living crisis is doing my head in! 

Digital tickets. If you are near the fan zone at the North East Corner ten minutes before kick off, try telling anyone queueing from there to the Captains Corner, that it is faster to get in on your phone. Try telling anyone who is stood in the queue at the ticket office, missing kick off, because their digital ticket isn’t working, that it is better on their phone. Try telling some of the loyalest long standing season ticket holders, who don’t and have never had a email address, let alone a electronic wallet on a phone, that they can’t fill in a form and pay by cash like they used to. If people want to use their phones, let them. But there should always have been a choice. It should have been made clear at the outset that the cash option +/- a plastic card was still available, rather than leaving it to a fortnight before deadline day. I would go back to my plastic season ticket card next season if I could.

It’s a new way of doing things, bringing Leeds United, kicking and screaming into the shiny new PL fold. New shiny turnstiles. Quick and easy on your phone, they said. How about just  getting someone to clean the stands once in a while and get better facilities in?

So far, this is off the pitch, what about on it? I could do an entire blog with three chapters about this! If things don’t improve, I may well do so. I will just do a summary for the purposes of tonight’s effort.

As is the norm with any new manager, they want to bring their own players in and their own style. Let’s start on style.

Bielsa was berated for not having a Plan B. He was slated for playing the same team formation for every game regardless of opponent, injuries notwithstanding, and not using his subs when we were losing and needed a change. Has anything changed? Honestly – has it? Dan James was still being played up front on his own before he got sideways shoved to Fulham. Rodrigo is still being played not up front and we are still using our full backs as extra wingers, leaving the likes of Coops, with Llorente or Koch to defend, this time without the benefit of Kalv, who is now happily warming the bench at £100k+ at Citeh. Nothing has changed.

During the Warnock era, let me pause to just get that shiver in my spine sorted, we had the whole Peltier thing. Lee played every game. Or at least it seemed like he did, even if he didn’t. Every week our midfield read like a Tarantino film. Green, Brown and White, not forgetting Sky pundit extraordinaire Stephen Warnock. Frankly, it would have been better if we had had the moves of Samuel L MFsnake Jackson and Travolta in the middle, but the Warchest would have imploded on itself. And it was shocking, but he still played them. (Don’t get me started on El Hadj!) It was as if Lee and his mates were the teachers pets. (Is that term even allowed anymore?)

Ten years on and it’s Groundhog Day. Whatever Aaronson, Adams, Roca, and Kristensen do, they are going to start. It doesn’t matter that they are run ragged by some teams, get kicked to death by others, look knackered after 60 minutes, play more narrow than Persians were forced into at the Hot Gates in 300 ,and how good we look after he eventually lets Klich on, they are going to start.

I swear that the tactics are, when Aaronson gets taken off, no one else is allowed to have a shot on goal. 

I’m biased, but it looks like that any shadowy semblance of that Bielsa squad is being whittled away, and we will, oh yes we WILL cheer on the American Boi.

As I said at the weekend, through the years we have sung many songs about many players. Some in celebration and some, not. From Imre Varadi to spontaneity of Pontus Jansson’s Last Christmas. Most related to on the pitch antics, for example – It Could Be…. and Ooh ooh ooh ooh ohh Rodrigo Moreno. Some completely unrelated to football – Enoch Showunmi –  a great big example of an entirely football free song. But mostly once the chant has started, the rest of the crowd will agree and sing along with it.

Once again on Sunday, despite trying their hardest, American Boy, like the U-S-A song lasted seconds. Until we actually start scoring and doing well or one of our new midfield acquires a reputation for having a very big appendage, please stop with the contrived forced fakeness. Just stick with the All Leeds are We, until we score more than two goals in a game.

It took a while for Bielsa to get his well deserved anthems – ask Paul Wilson. Nothing compares to him. His self effacing humility and love for the game are unsurpassed. 

As the Sex pistols said Nevermind The Bollocks – unless you are Enoch Showunmi

 

 

 

It’s been a short summer since the day Newcastle kept us up, and I’m wondering is the time right for a clean slate?

You’d think that it would be the de facto stance from our board, albeit with new manager. Yes, a clean slate to start again. Indeed, I think it was announced just after the end of the season that Leeds United were getting the loanees back to offer them the chance of a clean slate. All those players who were “out of favour” with Bielsa were allegedly all brought back to ER and an olive branch was extended.

A second chance to prove themselves. You must remember all the talk about Bielsa “losing the dressing room” and “not playing the Youth” etc. etc. etc. How can you forget how our league position was laid entirely at the feet of Bielsa? It was Bielsa’s style of play, his stubborness, his poor team selection, refusal to play the U23s, his continued reluctance to go to Plan B, that was at fault. Nothing to do with the obscene injury list and players who just couldn’t perform on the day.

Although it must seem like a daydream now to those who have conveniently forgotten the terrible run in at the end of the season. Most will have forgotten when we hit the relegation zone. When our fate was taken out of our hands until the last day when Newcastle saved us from the drop. I saw many of the pictures on social media with our new manager’s face superimposed onto Steve McQueen’s in that great film, I wasn’t impressed.

Many said that I was not being fair. I should be glad that he’d done enough to keep us up. He’d only been given 12 games. But the games against Villa and Southampton at home and Palace away, gave me enough insight into his tactics. I knew it would go down to the final game and we would be praying for assistance from The Bar Codes. Relying on The Geordies to win? Every person I saw at the Brentford Community Stadium was anxious until the final minute. Even after Canos got sent off, it was still touch and go. The last 15 minutes seemed like they were never going to end. 

But true to form, Leeds fans went from one extreme to the other within a short 5 days. Less than a week  before the Brentford game, most of us had resigned to losing Kalv and Raphinha. Most fans had written the team off. Most had decided that the players just weren’t good enough and would never get us out of the Championship again. Many had decided once we got relegated we needed to ditch the old wood and start again with the U23 side and the residue of players that wouldn’t have left to join richer clubs in the PL. Within days of us staying up, fans were saying we should get Haaland. His lad, not Alfie. All of a sudden we had gone from Championship no hopers (again) to spending millions to get us into Europe. With the same team. Lawks a luvvy!

How things change though!

Despite the video, showing Kalv just after Christmas 2021

https://twitter.com/CoreyHolmes90/status/1475058637987061763

we knew Brighton would be his last game at ER in our colours. Most have forgotten this video above. Kalvin won’t have though. Probably be embarrassed with this to his dying day. It’ll be wiped soon to save some blushes, however, here is a still from it

Yep. The social media age, Generation Swipe. It was said, “Never in history has so much been documented, by so many, about so little of any consequence to anybody”. Harsh but fair. The folly of fleeting things.

Under Bielsa, in those short four years, everything seemed to have a permanence about it. It felt like it was never going to end. From the moment he came to us, it felt like there was just a natural progression. Certainly, after the Championship title win and then 9th in the 1st season back, it just felt like the next step was Europe and then Champions League. I’m pretty sure the makers of “Take Me Home” never envisaged it would end as it did. Would Kalv and Rapha have gone if Bielsa were still here? I doubt it. He made them the players they were. England International, eh? But Et Tu Brute? no one is ever going to know.

The impact of Bielsa’s era will be remembered with fondness for what it was. The rollercoaster ride into ascendancy will be looked back on in years to come with happiness. When we are fighting to stay up in the perennial relegation battle that we are doomed to without the likes of Kalv and Rapha. His legacy will remain, like his face on the side of the building in Hyde Park, as will Kalvin’s at the bottom of town as you go towards Crown Point Bridge. Is it the case of the folly of fleeting things again? As Hilda Ogden might have said , “many a misguided murial mounted in haste”.

People have argued that there was too much love and affection towards Marcelo. To those I would offer my commiserations, you obviously were never there to see it happen in front of your eyes. Bielsa wasn’t just a man with a slogan. El Loco wasn’t just a myth. He was akin to an art form, like Impressionism or Cubism. It was a Renaissance (Born again for those who never did french O level). It was his ethos. A shining light of aspiration in the seething pit of the money mad “Modern Game” of football. He was a breath of fresh air in the turgid, cesspool stagnation which is the PL. To which Kalv and Rapha have now deepdived into, with the lure of benchwarming in Champions League football – and er – the small bonus of being on three times their current salary? Mebbe? If the shoe fits as they say.

This has all gone now though. We are in the new era of RB Leedsburg. Where the performance will always be more important than the points. (Yeah – never gonna live that one down).

Clean slate? More like wipe the slate and chuck it out of the window.

The transfer window hasn’t even officially opened yet and already Ryan Edmondson has gone. Drameh has never come back from Cardiff. Nohan Kenneh has gone to Hibs. McCarron has gone to Stoke. It looks like young Jamie Shackleton is off too and now there is talk Cresswell is going as well. This is the same Charlie Cresswell, who along with Klaesson, saved our skin and SkinnyJeans against Wolves. Who next? Archie Gray? Summerville? I thought it was Bielsa who refused to play the youth? Wasn’t it was Bielsa who didn’t value the U23s? Surely it was Bielsa who had no faith in our Academy? Bielsa has gone now, so why aren’t we able to hang onto the likes of Cresswell. Is this the future of RB Leedsburg, sorry Leeds United?

Clean slate – my rear end!

But we’ve bought in players who have played in the Champions League! Surely that’s something? Well, Celtic play in the Champions League every year. So do Linfield. It would be interesting to see how they fare in the relegation battle at the bottom of the PL.

The 1st 6 games will be the test of his mettle. The build up to the World Cup break could be the foundation of our battle to stay up. The games after Christmas, when the players come back from international duty +/- injuries, may well be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. That’s if history repeats itself, of course. Will the players come back unharmed after slogging themselves in the punishing heat of a winter World Cup? Who knows?

If they come back and, God forbid, we start losing again, what’s it going to take? Will the board wait til it gets to 5-0, 6-0 and 7-0 before the guillotine gets ready? Or will the 3-0, 4-0 ones be enough to send SkinnyJeans back to leagues where the performance is more important than the points? Groundhog Day is Thursday 2nd February 2023. Might the Board have learnt from their mistakes this time? Might they realise that chopping and changing might just cost them PL survival? Ask Dyche and then ask Burnley.

Clean slate or chopping block?

We’ll see if the Scarlet Pimpernel is around!

Like the hole in my old 1990s knitted scarf , Leeds United have started to come undone. Judging by last night’s game, we are unravelling at the speed of knots (pun completely intended there). Opportunity to stick a picture of a cat in my blog? Done!

 

There are lots of possible song titles I could use for this blog. The obvious one  would have been; Leeds, Leeds Are Falling Apart Again. I resisted that though. I don’t like that song anyway, the irony has long gone, dissipated into the ether many moons ago. There’s also “Jessie” by Joshua Kadison. Yes, this is an actual song, see excerpt below. If you forget the line about the trailer, it could be how the anti-Bielsa mob could be summed up

If he keeps us up though, they will be vindicated. But if we do avoid relegation, it won’t be because of him, it’ll be in spite of him. We’d have been better off with this Jessie

I chose Come Undone as a nod to Duran Duran, not the Robbie Williams one. I’m not really a fan of his, especially the bitterness when he left Take That, but only because his vitriol put my acrimony to shame! It’s not often my rancour is eclipsed. Some of the lyrics of the Robbie “Come Undone” song do occasionally reflect on the situation that we find ourselves in though, you’ll have to listen to it to understand. But the Duran Duran version really hits home.

Leeds United have come undone. It’s falling apart at the seams, right before our eyes.

There’s two more games to go. I thought last night we would have come out fighting. Chelski have a Cup final to think about, we could have had a result against Arsenal on Sunday had we kept 11 men on the pitch. There was a massive build up encouraging fans to get behind the team and the usual segues (not sedgeways) from the manager with his inspirational quotes from some other famous dead person givvying us on. What happened?

Damp squib. Flat as a fart.

Anyone who regularly reads this blog will know how I feel about our new manager and the sacking of Bielsa. I wonder how Bielsa is feeling right now. Seeing the efforts of 3 years of hard slog (on his part and the players too, who objected to it more than we will know), go down the toilet. I wonder if Bielsa could have a meeting with The Board and our new manager today,  would be doing it using a nice powerpoint?

I jest, but I am so incensed with it all. I started off incandescent, then I fumed and now, I’m incensed. We were abysmal last night, from start to finish.

The usual excuses have abounded overnight. It’s not the new managers fault, he only had 10 games to change it. But he didn’t change it, did he? It’s the same. Nothing has changed apart from being much, much more narrower. Plus we have Coops and Phillips back, and Lord Bamford too, for a short while. Bielsa was decried for not having a Plan B. I don’t even think we had a Plan A last night.

You only have to look at Newcastle and Brentford, even Burnley really, and what they did in response to the threat of relegation.

The Geordies spent big. £93 million big. But he also looked to the existing squad too.

They weren’t going to take any chances. And it worked didn’t it? They have leapfrogged us now, and are clear of the dropzone, happily contemplating next season.

Brentford bought Eriksen and Raya, their keeper, came back from injury. He’s made a massive difference. There’s a reason why Toney can smile. They’re more or less safe.

Burnley sold Chris Wood – to Newcastle and then sacked Dyche. I thought they had resigned themselves to relegation at that point and looking to the parachute payment to see them rebound straight back up. But the dead cat bounce back has helped them. We can only hope that the luck has departed them though, or else it’s curtains for us.

The Board took a gamble, and we shall have the result of that gamble soon. Either we stay up or we come undone and we capitulate.

When they sacked Bielsa, even I thought that we’d stay up. I thought typical, they sack Bielsa just before the winning run starts, the new manager would be bound to keep us up and then Bielsa’s sacking would be completely justified. Everyone would believe that Bielsa was the problem, even though our position in the table was down to a combination of the obscene injury list, ridiculous refereeing decisions, some absolutely shocking anti-football /cheating from Wolves, Brentford and Southampton, unlucky deflections and the post and the bar basically expanding by an inch whenever Rodrigo shot near them. 

We were 15th but we had Coops, Bamford and Kalv to come back into the team. We’d had a terrible run since losing 7-0 to Citeh at Christmas, but we’d played Sc*m, Liverpool and Spurs, had two long aways at West Ham and played a hard fought 3-3 against Villa away. We were due to play Leicester and Everton, had the likes of Norwich, Wolves and Watford to go at and winable games against Southampton and Palace too.

How could we not stay up? 

The board came out with the “It was always the plan to bring the new manager in anyway in the summer”, “Bielsa was just too difficult”, “The players couldn’t cope”. Who could forget this little quote?

I can’t. Remember everything, forgive nothing. But if we were safe by now, no one would remember this.

But 10 games later, we’ve come undone. Don’t get me wrong, if that tackle on Joffy at the end of the Southampton game had been given as a penalty, that would have given us a bit of leeway. Mind you, had we defended that free kick better and not been so negative, we’d be 2 points better off.

Hindsight & Presumption

Hindsight is a marvellous thing isn’t it? But presumption – presumption is the sickener. Hindsight and presumption is the footballing equivalent to Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice. The board presumed we would stay up without Bielsa. The players presumed that murderball wasn’t necessary. The players presumed they didn’t need the harsh training regime that Bielsa forced them into. The players presumed that they had got us promoted, into 9th in the first season up and they didn’t need to do much more than just turn up. Similar to all the new fans at Leeds United who just presumed they would be able to get a ticket when they wanted to. Unlike Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, there’s no happy ending for anyone here. It’s lose lose, unless we stay up of course.

But the truth has been revealed. Or at least last night’s game revealed a lot of truths.

Our fitness has sunk to Paddy Kenny lows. We have about as much pace as Jabba the Hut. Our tackling skills have packed up and gone on their summer holidays already, all they needed was the finesse of the Beradi bloodbath to make them extra special. Our formation looks as steady as the first little pigs’ straw house – in a Force 10 gale. We look as organised and capable as The Prince Regent in BlackAdder The Third, or for those of you who will remember, Selwyn Froggett. Never mind – oh never mind! We have bumbled through in Clouseau fashion since the new managers arrival, somehow winning a few games. I can only hope that in the classic indomitable Peter Sellars’ style, we get the job done in the next few games, somehow. 

I’m fed up of this “oh well, I preferred it in the Chumpionship”. No! I didn’t. We, or rather Bielsa, fought long and hard to get us back where we belong. I don’t want us to go down. Nevermind this “If we go down, we go down fighting” rubbish. We need to fight and not let all this hard work of the last 3 years go to waste. 

The only ones who want us back in the Championship are the EFL. Do we really want to go back to being their cash cow? Not likely