Ah, go on. Gwan, Gwan ,Gwan.
Mrs Doyle off of Father Ted. Classic comedy.
They truly broke the mould with this one.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about – what the heck were you watching in the 90s? If you can’t remember, then just watch the link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhhekdyJYZI
It is comedy gold. Ah go on. Gwan, gwan, gwan.
Ah go on!
Last last Saturday against Burnley, that’s what most of us were saying. Ah go on. Gwan. Unlike Mrs Doyle, we weren’t asking if anyone wanted a cup of tea, we were just asking to Gwan – shoot.
I’ve already put myself through the first half of the match again via SkyTVisf**kings**t. I’m not looking forward to the second half. At one point, Burnley were playing 4 up front. 4 up front, let alone 4,4,2 or 3,5, 1,1, or whatever formation we play. Yes, our 3 defenders were at one point defending against 4 attacking players. It isn’t a pleasant watch, that 45 minutes. I don’t even want to watch the second half. Even Jaidon Anthony, the guy that Farke hardly ever let on the pitch, was getting in the box.
How depressing.
When we got in the box, there were far too many flashy flicks, dinks and lay offs. What we needed was someone to aim in between the sticks and put their foot through the ball, rather than scuffing it or hitting it straight at the keeper.
Apart from the ball handed to Joseph on a plate in the first 2 minutes, we only had a couple more chances. But, for whatever reason, no one seemed to want to shoot, opting to go for a pass to someone / anyone else instead. It seemed like they had been told, in no uncertain terms, that only Joseph was allowed to have a shot in the box. There were far too many touches to no avail.
Ampadu seemingly was the only one allowed to shoot from outside the box too. When we got a free kick or throw in, regardless of which half we were in, all we did was send it straight back to Meslier. It’s now getting so easy to read us. We are like an open book, which has been flattened, words in font size 20 and in capitals.
Anyone who watches tennis will know, certain players have a ritual that they stick to before they serve. Rafa Nadal infamously had such a long routine of shirt tugs, hair tugs, nose wipes, shoulder shrugs etc. he almost forfeited points due to the length of time taken to serve. But stick to it he did, and he didn’t do too badly I guess. We have the same for every free kick and throw in.
Will we be doomed to be on the google list of “quirky sporting rituals” like Nadal too? Are we that predictable and formulaic?
Please, we can’t honestly be condemned to stick to the same routine every time the we win a throw in or free kick, can we? The trouble is, it happens so often that it seems that we are, even if we aren’t. Having watched a few PL games on the box, I can see that playing the ball out from the back is part of the new “modern” game. But does that mean we all have to do it? Why can’t we be different? Are we doomed to saying Gwan Gwan to no avail, because the players simply won’t go on.
Burnley clearly didn’t stick to modern game plan. Yes, they played it out from the back, but also chopped and changed, at least in the first 45 minutes so far they have. They attacked from just about every opportunity, shot from outside the box as well as inside. Hardly anyone tried to walk the ball in the back of the net.
The trouble is, we have had successive managers stick to their style of play. I saw a post referring to SkinnyJeans’ style of play as “penisball”. I’m assuming it meant the shape of the formation, as opposed to anything else
Bielsa’s style was just
I’m not qualified as a manager, but the phrase is, if it works , don’t fix it. In Bielsa’s case, injuries were his main problem. You don’t get to 9th in your 1st season in the PL if it doesn’t work.
And before everyone starts going on about Bielsa’s stats at the end of his tenure, he did have a load of injuries. Our lynchpin Kalvin had been out for ages, as had Bamford and Coops. The spine of the team was decimated, but Kalv and Sir Patrick were set to return imminently. They should have just waited a bit longer. Our last 10 games last season weren’t exactly much better, otherwise known as relegation form.
Some SkyTVisf**kings**t Bielsa stats before Leeds ditched him:
this is copy and pasted from a Sky Sports report, please note the teams we were against.
Our end of last season run in, note our opponents with only Rutter playing with an injury
Just doing a small comparison for balance of course. It’s important to look at the totality and not just pick and choose which stats you want to believe because it suits your opinion. Looking at snapshots in isolation to make your point, renders things meaningless.
I know, I am so biased. I admit it. But let’s face it, you’re not reading this blog for journalistic impartiality, are you? This is my truth, not anyone elses’. This isn’t Verified Live with their “settled science” or that bloke off Look North who does the weather. I’m about as impartial as the BBC, but I am not burdened with scandal. Bonus!
Gwan
I’ve never been a fan of predictive and prescriptive football. Neverending stats about touches, passes, runs, tackles, distance covered, heat maps (!) bear absolutely NO relevance at all to entertaining and competitive football. The only people these stats are important to are the statisticians themselves, the people who input all the data and the companies who this AI belongs to. And of course the betting companies who milk their money in from people who gamble on these sorts of things. Knowing how far someone has run on the pitch and how many passes they have completed means nothing. Zilch.
Take the Citeh game yesterday against Arsenal. At one point Citeh had 105 passes to Arsenal’s 4. The result was 2-2. After Arsenal went down to 10 men they played 1, 6, 3. Citeh’s possession stats look amazing and but that whole dynamic XG (expected goals thing) was well out. Meaningless stats. Unless you are someone who believes that “the performance was more important than the points”, of course.
Gwan, gwan
And so to the display two days ago against Cardiff. Firstly, Cardiff – bottom of the league. Secondly, the game’s a free hit for us as it’s still technically post international break and we’d already lost against Burnley. Thirdly – we’ve got all these new players who have done well in the internationals. What the bejesus was going on then?
They went down to 10 men early doors, it should have been cricket score against a team rock bottom of the league. Imagine what would have happened if Farke had taken the advantage of the extra man and stuck Piroe on straight away. It would have saved everyone slagging off Pascal for manning up to take the penalty. So many have forgotten it was Pascal who stepped up at Preston away, the only highlight of the day. And who took the penalty against Portsmouth?
Again, so many have selective memories to suit their whingeing.
Gwan, gwan, gwan
A show of strength and defiance came forward from the resolute 10 men of Cardiff.
No it didn’t. I’m lying, they were dreadful. But we made them look like they were unwavering and undaunted at our advantage. At times, they looked the more eager to score, but only because we fell over ourselves so much in the final third. We were crying out for substitutions early on to capitalise on the extra man, but we had to wait til nearly the flipping end of the game to see one. A fair number of us started chanting “attack, attack, attack”, hoping to God that this would be the impetus for change. We’d given up saying Gwan, gwan , gwan 10 minutes into the second half because it was pointless. We might as well have been saying go back, go back, go back.
At 84 minutes, finally a forward came on. And at 87 minutes we scored. The 8 minutes of stoppage time was about as unwelcome as a dose of the runs.
As difficult as it is for many to admit, we miss the days of heart stopping, spine tingling, breath holding Bielsaball. It was truly amazing, entertaining, competitive football. There was a passion there which I haven’t seen since, and probably will never see again.
I struggle so much with this patient playing out from the back. Watching us pass the ball sideways and backwards waiting for a perfect pass forward drives me bananas. Especially as the offside trap is our eternal enemy and Joseph just hasn’t enough experience yet to read the game, and get into space away from his marker. Missing the opportunity to get a free kick or a long throw in into the box for a glancing headed goal, only drives up the frustration level. As cheap as it sounds, the most important thing is winning. We could have 99% of possession but it would translate into nothing if the oppositions 1% possession resulted in a goal. The focus needs to be on scoring a goal, set piece or open play or ugly pinball style scramble in the box. It doesn’t matter. Winning matters. Points matter.
In the grand scheme of things, however, some other things are important too.
RIP Sol Bamba, truly taken too early.
