Just a little update for Slow Mo September.

Slow Mo September because frankly since Newcastle it has been slow motion for the last few days.

Those stairs were horrendous for those of us who chose to use them rather than cheating by using the lift. For some bizarre reason, when I think of Newcastle away, climbing up those stairs is never the first thing that pops up in my mind. Trying to get 3,000 people through 2 turnstiles with 5 minutes to go before kick off – that’s what I normally remember.

To top it all off, for those of us who did the St James’s stairs without stopping for a breather, when I got to the top it was like a bloody sauna. Couldn’t flipping breathe. The least they could have done was taken a leaf out of the Great North Run and had people with those foil blankets, cold water and maybe a few oxygen cylinders on tap. Flipping nothing …. apart from a load of drunks. Even a massive cheer for those who reached the top would have been welcome. Nothing.

Yeah, Gary Neville and professional Scouser Carragher apparently did a race or something, and one of them made it up to the top in less than a minute. They’d have been better off enjoying the whole matchday experience and trying it then. Putting themselves on an even keel with the average away dayer by going round a load of pubs first knocking back 10 pints of Double Maxim or whatever the lager drinkers imbibe now, finishing with a couple of rounds of Jagerbombs or port if they have any, then a bacon cheese burger, with onions covered in tomato ketchup from outside the ground…. and THEN trying to get up those stairs. THEN they could have drawn a comparison that I would have been interested in.

You may jest – but those of you who want the ground to be developed – beware. If they start even thinking of copying anything like that, I’ll be straight on them demanding full on facilities for the old, decrepit and intoxicated. Never mind a lift, I want fancy shiny moving walkways like they have in airports. Mind you, if Leeds City Council had any say in it, they’d be demanding a bloody cycle path to go alongside it. St James’s Park might look good on the outside, but the view is crap, you can’t see the goal properly, sober or tiddly. Think of the fans, we have rights as well – old fans matter!

As for Fulham. I sent a few feelers out for a quick branch health survey after that penalty shootout and then that long, long journey home, resulting in most of us not seeing sight of the bed before 3am.

I’m pleased to report Mr Smythe finally saw a game at Craven Cottage at the 5th attempt. The Chairman similarly enjoyed a balti pie during the game and found the bus afterwards. Sonia managed to keep all her bones in one piece and Mad Max actually went to a game with an intact pair of glasses, and got home with the same pair still in one piece.

Proof of Life?

Here it is- I declare these last two games casualty free ( as far as I know anyway) and therefore a pretty good result. Roll on a nice home tie for a place in the quarter finals. Full house at Fortress ER again.