Public Flogging with a Cat O Nine Tails

Another 24 hours on (it’s lasted at least twice as long as our new badge design!) and the Elitist 6 have all given up the ghost. Now the recriminations and retributions are in full pelt. With SkyTVisf**kings**t now asking what the punishment should be. Notably, all their guests have said that any docking of points and relegation to a lower league will “only harm the fans”. In other words only harm SkyTVisf**kings**t and the other broadcasters as they’ll have to go to more Championship grounds more often.

Me, I see nothing more fitting than public humiliation in stocks being paraded round the streets, finished with a nice bit of old fashioned public flogging with the obligatory cat o nine tails. And that’s just to start with.

Boris is going on about a shake up of rules and relook at the “fit and proper test”. Well, we all know how that is going to end with Rick Parry and his bezza mates in charge. They’ll just suck up to them, bit of lip service, call in Ernst & Young who will do an audit at great expense for their consultation, and decide it’s all ok anyway, and tell Boris that’s there’s nothing here to see. They’ll get away scott free if the decision is left to Boris – he doesn’t even like football.

Jokes aside, the only thing that these owners know is money.

1)They need to be hit hard with a fine and then that fine needs to be redistributed between the clubs in the lower leagues – not to the FA, ensuring it passes down to where it is needed. With a guarantee that the financial hit not be passed onto match going fans.

2) 15 point deduction at the start of next season.

3) To give back to the match going fans, all tickets in the PL to be no more than a top price of £50 (in the best seats) per game and away fans to go back to being allocated 10% of ground capacity for 48 hour selling window at £20, any unsold to go back to the home team to be sold at £20.

4) All teams involved to be forced to start at the initial rounds of the League Cup and the FA Cup, playing their first team players for the next 5 years. Again, ensuring that any gate receipts will be shared amongst the lower league divisions and serving as a reminder of where football actually started.

5) Transfer embargo from now til the start of season 2023/24.

6) Salary cap in the Premier League to be set at a maximum of £100,000 at week. No one needs £5 million a year.

and this is just for starters