Lots of interesting ideas on the way to Ipswich yesterday. The 2nd row newcomer, front of the bus virgin, Paul from Junction 41 party, fitted in perfectly well and is welcome back at anytime. As long as someone makes sure he gets off at the right stop next time and doesn’t get abandoned by the rest of them.

Play Off Final Superstitions

The Chairman: Have you got anything that you need to replay

for the play offs?

A: Eh?

The Chairman: Last time we got promoted I was… (not allowed to say what The Chairman was doing)

A: So I can’t write that?

The Chairman: Oh no – definitely not

Rowsey: Last time we won the play offs I was at the zoo with the kids and we were watching this monkey wipe his…….

And that is the end of that conversation!

Fine food

Steve The Pedant: If I had to pick my last meal ever, my starter would have to be duck and pancakes

The Chairman: My favourite food is bananas and custard

A: Just bananas and custard?

The Chairman: Yes, best dessert ever

A: Not even as a banana split with ice cream and sprinkles?

The Chairman: No no. Just bananas and custard. They should have that on the menu at proper restaurants.

A: Just a banana sliced up and a carton of ambrosia chucked over it?

The Chairman: Proper food that.

Yorkshire Master Chef

The Chairman: These restaurants, they should be doing proper food, not that poncey rubbish.

Steve The Pedant: Yes, made with lots of butter

The Chairman: Like that James Martin does…. I’ll just finish it with a bit of butter, chucks a whole pack in it

The Secretary: Can’t beat a bit of butter

The Chairman: Proper food, like bread with a bit of dripping on it. Mucky fat.

Rowsey: I once went into a shop and the woman said I’ve only got a bit of dripping on’t left, I said what’s on’t right?

Pies Are Us

Junction 41 Paul: Can’t beat a Fray Bentos Pie

MPO: Ah! You need to speak to Dave about a Fray Bentos pie

Dave P: Nothing wrong with a Fray Bentos pie, I’ve got a stack of them at home. Can’t knock it, dinner for a quid.

Junction 41 Paul: I love a Fray Bentos pie, done just so the gravy is tipping over the edge and the lid is all crispy, even those pudding ones, have to have chips done in beef fat though

Dave P: Can’t be doing with those ones – too doughy for me

Junction 41 Paul: Fray Bentos pies and Super Noodles – can live off that, only food you need

Harrogate Masterchef

The Chairman: Why is it when they do Masterchef, they just seem to do rubbish that you’re never gonna eat?

Junction 41 Paul: Served with a beef jus

The Chairman: Yeah jus or foam

Junction 41 Paul: They should do a proper food masterchef. Fish finger pie and beans

A: Eh?

Junction 41 Paul: Honestly, seen it done, fish fingers in the middle. Mash around the outside , topped with beans.

A: What in a pie?

Junction 41 Paul: Yeah, fish finger pie

The Chairman: Imagine that on Masterchef… they’ll have carved individual beans for that

Junction 41 Paul: And covered it in jus

MPO: Pudding of bananas and custard flavoured foam

Ultimate masterchef

The Chairman: Imagine if you had someone on that show who did it properly.

A: Eh?

The Chairman: Contestants, you have an hour and a half to make a main course and a pudding. What will you be doing? Well, for my main course I’ll be doing a Fray Bentos pie and chips finishing with bananas and custard as pudding.

A: Eh?

The Chairman: Can you imagine? So what are you going to do with the rest of the hour and a half? Well, I’m going to put my feet up and watch the rest of you idiots piss about with your jus.